The sun’s rays barely made it through the clouds, spring was new and fresh, flowers just awakening from the winter’s spell. Hardly anyone was about the Tower grounds yet. Jade had woken up early, something in her mind tugging at her. She always knew when Aryth was upset or hurt. It was the luck of the bond placed between them about five years ago. Aryth had always been a faithful Warder. Only once or twice had they truly squabbled over something, which had turned out to be insignificant afterwards. It was obvious that Aryth loved the Yellow with his whole heart. He had been stuck on her since Sam al’shadar had given up his need for Jade. It was a sweet thing, in Jade’s mind, that someone would not only pledge their protective allegiance to her but swear their loyalty in love as well. Flattering as it was, Jade always knew she could not completely love Aryth in the sheer, pure way he loved her. She loved him as a person and a Warder…even in a way some were not allowed to, but in such a way that one must when she had to love the Source and her duties first knowing this was sure someday it would present a problem.

Finally catching up to him, Jade pushed the man to face her, his blue green eyes looking startled at seeing his Aes Sedai before him. “Aryth, is something wrong? I have been calling your name…not that you couldn’t have known I was behind you!” Jade questioned her Warder, searching his eyes and his mind for some hint of what he was feeling. Eerily, behind his eyes was nothing she had ever seen before- a complete vacancy of emotion towards her, no smile on his lips, nothing. He wasn’t in there; it was as if she had stumbled upon a shell of a man.

“Jade.” Aryth stated as if simply addressing someone he would pass by. Not even acknowledging his Aes Sedai. If Jade hadn’t have placed her hand upon his cheek, it was obvious the man would have turned away and continued upon his path. A sick feeling balled itself up inside Jade’s stomach. She looked away, her eyes full of confusion and she found it hard to even look at him. He wasn’t there.

Why is he acting as though I am nothing? Jade wondered letting her gaze fall back upon the man. His hair glowed bright gold in the now stronger sun, slivers of the light danced across his face as well making it more than just attractive. He had always been so though, strong and silently attractive. “Did something happen Aryth? Are you alright?” she asked quietly, letting the subtle annoyance which was set inside her curl itself around her inner body eating at her being. “If something has happened, you know it is my duty to heal it. Of course I would have known…Aryth, answer me please” Jade’s nature was not to beg as she was doing but something was visibly and unmistakably wrong with Aryth and her bond with him was quieted and had been save for the knowledge of where he had been, all day.

As if snapping out of a trance, Aryth’s eyes focused upon Jade again. Her hand was still on his tanned cheek. “Jade, I am sorry, lost in my thoughts and too much to drink last night makes me hazy.” He spoke in a distant voice. “What have you been up to?” he asked in such a way that Jade shuddered. She pulled her hand back as if burned by fire and turned away from her Warder. He hadn’t drunk…in such a long time. Something had to be wrong to drive him to drunkenness.

“Jade, what’s wrong?” Aryth asked, his voice returning to normal, its full of love state. He wrapped his arms around his Aes Sedai. Jade turned in his arms and faced him. Aryth planted a small kiss on her nose and attempted to kiss her lips but Jade turned her face from him. Something was wrong. Something the Yellow with all her knowledge and experience could not pinpoint. Jade knew her Warder was not his typical self and his kiss would only hurt her deeper than she was ready to be hurt.

Pulling herself away from him, Jade watched his blue green eyes flicker slightly with confused pain. “I just wanted to check on you is all Aryth” she claimed in her stately voice, the distant calm one she used when in Council. “I have things to attend to, perhaps we shall speak again sometime soon” with that Jade turned away and walked slowly, almost dejectedly back towards the Tower, knowing Aryth was standing confused and alone.

Jade stopped at the Gardens and strolled through the paths where she used to frequent as a Novice. The herbal paths, which had led her to her choice of Ajah. Always Jade al’Mayre had been a healer, never a day had she spent not wanting to heal people or fix things. It was a knack, it was believed, something many did not possess. Jade Sedai was renowned in the Tower, respected nearly as much as any save for Jascha Sedai who had been the deciding woman to letting Jade wear the Yellow shawl. “If I am such a healer” Jade spoke quietly “why can I not heal whatever it is that ails my Warder?” her heart drooped in response to herself. Aryth’s eyes were the things that bothered Jade the most. His eyes, which had always been so full of everything, that comprised him were changed as if over night. “I need to know,” she whispered, letting her fingers touch the edge of what would be an herbal sprout. “People change…perhaps it was a mistake, perhaps five years have made him hate his cloak and his Aes Sedai. Maybe we weren’t ready then?” Jade, the levelheaded woman had begun a path of destruction. Questioning her purpose and her bonds was not something typical of the Yellow. Perhaps a visit to the Amrylin would soothe this nonsense.

“Not again” the man murmured, twisting himself up in his blanket. The black hooded figure danced in the flames, taunting Aryth by dangling Jade’s locket in the flames.

“You think you are really such a dutiful protector young Master” the voice spoke, raspy as fallen leaves in Autumn yet strong as any force any man has ever met. “You think you can save her now after I have had her in my clutches. You are wrong you fool. Nothing you have done was good for her you know” the black figure cackled, dropping the locket into the flames.

Aryth writhed in his bonds. Thousands of lashes of pain grasped him and shook him, cutting his skin. The Warder felt his heart begin breaking as he stared at the melting silver. It was the locket he had given Jade, the one she always wore around her neck. “No, you are wrong you are the fool!” Aryth struggled more, nearly breaking the tight leather straps binding his wrists.

“Swear yourself to me young man and you will be saved. She is suffering right now. Did you not see her face this afternoon? You try to kill her with your love! She needs nothing from you any longer. It would be better if you were gone from this world!” the man cackled again, this time taking a mirror and holding it up before the flames.

Aryth looked into the glass, the images inside swirling. Jade’s face and figure came forth almost immediately. Her face was pale and her eyes dull. She lay upon her bed mouthing something nearly unmistakable as Aryth’s name. “SHE is not suffering! YOU LIE!” Aryth screamed at the man, tugging further on his bonds, trying to reach the woman he loved as the image shifted slightly. The mirror now showed Jade crying, mouthing the words ‘Aryth and leave Me.’ over and over. Aryth was perturbed, he watched closer as she took a step forward and threw something at her own mirror, glass flying and a piece catching her on the wrist…he watched as red blood oozed from his beloved’s arm and her final words stung the most, ‘I hate you’ she spoke clearly while inaudibly.

Aryth cried out loud a last time before breaking his bonds, lunging for the black man before the fire. His final feeling was that of his hands being singed, his heart breaking and the voice of the evil blackness cackling.

Opening his eyes, Aryth found himself in his rooms. A horrid smell filled the air and he noticed his hands felt as though they had been cut. Looking down he saw severely burned flesh, throbbing as fresh as day. “Light” he breathed, trying to get up. Plunging his hands in the washbasin, Aryth hardly winced as the dream came back to him. Such dreams had frequented his mind lately. Nights were often spent avoiding sleep, as to avoid Jade’s torment. Using a white cloth, ripped in two parts to bandage his hands, he saw something shining on the floor. Reaching down with a wince, the warder picked up the glass. The end of the triangular piece was stained dark with blood. He looked up at his mirror, seeing it was not cracked and no piece was missing. Aryth threw it down, shuddering, his body covered in creeping gooseflesh. “I will not fail her,” he snarled, looking for a shirt and leaving the room.

Breathing heavily Jade awoke, images flashing before her eyes. A sharp pain caught her in the wrist. Looking down, her golden pillow was stained with blood. Jade traced the pain to her arm and was shocked to see a rather large gash as if something had cut her over the night. “Light!” she called out, jumping from her bed and grabbing a cloth to pressurize the wound. “How did this come about!” Jade nearly screamed, collapsing into a chair, and events from her dreams calling out to her mind.

Aryth had been there, this she knew. She recalled crying before sleeping, and becoming frustrated. “I told myself I hate you…while looking in the mirror….” Jade spoke wearily, glancing towards the mirror noting that a piece had been removed from it. A sharply cut triangular piece was missing from one of the edges. Looking around with her syrup colored eyes, Jade saw no such piece. “Strange” she breathed, rising a little unsteadily, feeling as if she had been up all night and holding the cloth to her wrist. It was odd, waking up with a gash upon her wrist, feeling as though she had been involved in a battle.

Three hours later, after speaking with the Infirmary, not letting them heal her and simply taking some wrap and cleaning and wrapping her wound, Jade was out. Walking towards Aryth’s rooms in the barracks, a horrible feeling had wound itself inside of her head. “Something is wrong with him” she spoke suddenly, doubling the speed of her pace. It took her some time, skirts can be quite bothersome, but Jade made it to Aryth’s rooms. “Where are you Aryth?” she beckoned him, entering to find the room a mess, as per usual, and no Aryth to be found. The curtains were drawn and as she looked around the room, something shining caught her eye. Moving into the room, Jade sought out the shining silver object and finally came upon it. “This is not silver at all,” she breathed, picking up a triangular piece of glass. Turning it over in her hands, Jade saw the darkened blood stain and in disbelief kept her eyes locked on it. She knew full well it was the piece from her very own looking glass. “Why would he have this here?” she wondered aloud, her heart beating quick, wondering if….”no that is nonsense! He …perhaps we need to…” Jade’s thoughts were interrupted as she heard footsteps coming towards her. Throwing the piece of glass down, Jade moved from the inner portions of the rooms out to the doorway and slipped from that as well.

Aryth’s figure loomed towards her, an almost horrid look of absolute anger upon his face. He didn’t even look up as Jade stood there and walked past her and into his rooms, slamming the door. Jade’s eyes widened. Something was most definitely wrong. Pounding on the door as if to request entrance for she knew it was locked, Jade nearly bawled. Aryth was ignoring her and for some reason, it was not surprising to her. “Let me in please Aryth. Do not keep me outside. We must talk!” her wrist hurt a bit from being moved in a direction. Nothing came of her pounding. Summoning the One Power, Jade forced Air at the door, shattering it at the hinges in anger and throwing herself into the room.

“Aryth!” she cried, noting his figure upon the bed, tears in his wide-open eyes.

“Jade, I wonder if I have not yet failed you” were his soft words as he held up his hands and threw them down again.

Jade rushed to him, holding her grip on the One Power and looked at her Warder’s hands. “You have hurt yourself Aryth, let me fix it!” she cried, already delving into him.

With a swift motion, Aryth pushed his Aes Sedai from him. “Do not fix these wounds, they are well deserved. I have begun to fail you my Aes Sedai” he spoke vacantly, unwrapping the wrapped bindings upon his hands. Jade watched in horror as he revealed horridly burned flesh, patches of it missing. Much of the flesh was purple and swollen with pus as if infected instantaneously. “Aryth, I know you do not care for this but I really …I do not care what you say, this is for your own good” Jade bound the man in flows of Air and walked to him, laying her hands upon his and delving deep, then winding healing weaves, restoring his flesh.

Jade had no idea why tears were streaming down her Warder’s face as he was held in the bonds of air. Who was she to know that only the night before he had been held in similar bonds and watched her suffer? “Aryth, you are fine now” Jade released her hold on saidar and embraced her Warder, kissing him softly on the cheek. “You have not begun to fail me Aryth, for if you do I shall make sure to let you know” Jade’s face fell into a smile, “you have done nothing but make sure my life is safe and secure, I should thank you more” she spoke earnestly. Aryth’s eyes regained focus and hugged the woman hard, so hard in fact that it nearly knocked Jade’s breath away. “I love you Jade Sedai, my Aes Sedai, I will never ever fail you again” Aryth spoke in his deep voice, knowing all the while that the words of that shadow man would contradict him.

“We should talk Aryth” she spoke quietly, “you know you must come to me with anything that is haunting you, it was part of our agreement” Jade was growing weary of the probing anger and anxiety streaming from her Warder. “I am here to help, it is my duty” she spoke at last, leaving the last words to vibrate throughout the room.

Aryth watched Jade as he healed him, the restraints too similar to the night before. He wondered if the woman even knew of the dream. Writhing as if in agony, Aryth used all his might against Jade’s Air bonds. Nothing would give, he knew that. Jade Sedai was one of the strongest Aes Sedai in the Tower. Her healing was impeccable and her strength was often famed. “Let me GO Jade!!” he screamed, startling the woman. The bonds ceased and his wounds gone.

Hours later, Aryth, free of Jade and the reminder of his inevitable failure, the man went outside to practice sword forms. It had always been relaxing to him. Walking to the practice yards, Aryth saw a ghastly figure hardly cloaked in black. A chill went down his spine as he removed his shirt, the chilly air sending flickers of gooseflesh up and down his half nude body. “Would you dance?” he addressed the figure, knowing full well who it was.

The dark figure laughed, cackling, and drawing a seeming sword of fire. “I shall do more than dance around you Lad. I shall slay you till your Aes Sedai realizes there was never any substance to you” with that the figure took a stab at Aryth, barely missing the shirtless man’s shoulder.

Sparring, the two went round and round each other. The night’s cool air only letting each blade crack more violently against the other. The dark sky was filled with stars, and empty save for the two sparring. Aryth could do nothing but focus upon Jade. “I have not…yet…failed…her!” He grunted using every trick he knew in the book. Now was not a time for fancy footwork. “I have done nothing but…save …and protect my lady” a lash was taken at the Shadowman who incessantly cackled and avoided his blows.

Sweat beaded upon Aryth’s brow. His arms were growing tired of swiping and not hitting. The mental torment was almost unbearable. The evil voice cackled not only outside his head but also within it, explaining over and over the failure of the Yellow’s Warder. Shaking his head, Aryth tried to focus on Jade and succeeding for her. Each thwap from his opponent’s sword hit harder, striking the Warder near to the ground.

“You think you can beat me? Let me show you now what you are doing to your Aes Sedai!” the shadowed figure screeched.

Fiery flames encircled a darkened form that stood between Aryth and the evil figure. Staring hard at it, Aryth dropped his sword. Deeply enveloped in the flames stood Jade. Her eyes were cold and her arms crossed. She was standing near a pool of what appeared to be deep water. “Its all over now. You have failed and now I am done” were her words before she threw herself head first into the water, not taking a breath of air.

“NO!!” screamed Aryth, diving for the flames, hardly feeling his body heat up and eventually burn.

Jade woke up in a cold sweat, drenched as if having taken a swim. “What in the Light!” she screamed! Aryth lay upon her floor and she was not in bed at all. The two of them were dripping wet, not ten paces from one another and Aryth looked badly burned. Sitting up was a hard process as Jade hadn’t realized the reality of the dream. “Ouch” the Yellow winced, getting up on her feet finally. Her elbows and knees were scraped. A chill ran through the Aes Sedai, she was wearing nothing but her shift. “How in the Light?!” the woman breathed, afraid. Turning towards Aryth, Jade nudged him with her bare foot. The man groaned and breathed shallowly. Aryth turned over in his unconscious state to reveal a bruised face. Looking down the rest of him, Jade sucked in her breath. Aryth’s front had been singed, the fabric from his clothing burnt to nothing and it appeared his hands and feet had been burnt pretty badly as well.

“Light, what is going on?” Jade cried, screaming for her handmaiden.

Five days following Jade rode silently upon her gray dappled mare. Aryth was not too far behind her upon his own black warhorse. They were headed West in the direction Aryth had said he wanted to go and Jade had not objected. He obviously had a purpose to be just up and leaving. Jade had barely had time to attend to her ties, to let them know she would be gone for a while. Aryth had been acting strange for some time but it was finally coming together in such a way that Jade understood. She was not going to stop him, if whatever it was he was searching for would make him calm, Jade would lead or follow, whichever he pleased.

Aryth had been having dreams and in these dreams he was tortured for her sake, this Jade knew and accepted because out of these dreams had stemmed injuries to her…injuries which she could not remember acquiring. After a visit to the Amrylin Seat and to someone else Jade trusted, it was obvious time away would be the only solution. It had been two days since the pair started riding. Jade’s cloak billowed in the wind as she sat up a bit straighter upon her horse. “Do you think we could stop Aryth?” she called back to him and reigned in her mare. “I would just like to stretch my legs if at all possible” she stopped and dismounted.

The pair had been following the river and she led her hose to it for a cool drink. Watching Aryth step off from his horse, Jade go t a horrible feeling in her stomach. “He is going to ask me something” she breathed, bending down to cup some water into her hands. Rising, Aryth approached her and Jade sucked in air quickly standing straighter and looking calmly into his sea green eyes.

“Jade” Aryth began in his low voice, “I have to ask you something. You know I don’t ask much but this is something I need” he spoke quieter this time. Jade nodded, waving her hand for him to continue. “Jade, I need…I need you to promise me that no matter what I say you wont be offended….” Trailing off Aryth kicked at a pebble.

You love her you FOOL! He thought, staring at the figure illuminated by the sun. He watched her nearly squirm, losing that Aes Sedai grace he hated. He had once loved the fact that he could turn her from stone to mush in a matter of seconds. Now, he wanted away from her so he could spare her the anguish and suffering.

Kicking around a pebble was like kicking around his heart. He knew what was to be done and did not know how to go about doing it. Not being able to bear looking in her eyes, Aryth simply blurted out…”I need to be released from the bond Jade” it was a simple phrase but he knew it would change everything. “I need to be gone” he finished waiting for some sort of thundercloud to strike him down. I have just ruined her life he thought. I have just taken all she worked for. Aes Sedai chooses their men with careful eye on the future and I have just undone that for her. Five years down the drain! Aryth was panicking but did not retract his previous requests. “Its over” he finished. He nearly clamped a hand over his mouth.

Aryth regretted his words the moment they escaped his lips. He knew they were unretractable, however. The man’s heart was bleeding, he wanted to hug and squeeze Jade as he had in the past but it was not to be allowed. He had done it, not matter how much his heart screamed out at him. No matter what doubt he was having, Aryth could not now back out on his word because he knew, Jade would not ever look his way again.

Jade stood in absolute silence, her arms weighing heavily at her sides. Aryth wouldn’t look at her at all and her head was racing. He wants me to release him from the bond she thought warily, not understanding the logic. He wants me to release him? She asked herself over and over. It was unfathomable. Aryth would never ask for something like he had just asked for. Jade shook her head, un believing the words coming from her Warder’s mouth. “Why?” was all the woman could bring herself to ask him. Here in the middle of nowhere between cities Aryth decided he needed to leave her. She threw up her arms and just stared at the man, not believing still. “Why Aryth” she asked over and over, beginning to pace. Her steps back and forth more like killing the ground beneath. Her eyes had begun to burn, tears wanted to escape but she would not let them.

Two days into an adventure he decides to leave her. Jade’s eyes had begun to turn from full of life to cold and dull. Her fists were clenched for a moment and then she released them. Nodding coolly, Jade dispensed of all emotion and began to embrace the Source. She felt him in her head for the last time, his emotions quiet and stalwart. Jade began to weave again, reversing the bond between the two, cutting the ties that linked them. Momentarily Jade didn’t feel him anymore. He was sucked out of her like a space vacuum. “It is done” she spoke coldly to the man she no longer knew. “Five years and it is done Aryth. Be gone with you!” she turned from him mounting her mare again and kicking the beast to drive her away in a cloud of dust, away from her former Warder and away from the woman she had been. “It is done” she murmured, miles away, “It is done”

Aryth stood in silence for about an hour. Relishing in the feeling of freedom. His head was silent now. No link to Jade, no link to her pain or the pain he had caused her. It was over. Everything had been undone. Unfeeling now, Aryth stared in the direction Jade had ridden off in. The dust clouds had long since billowed over him and gone. His last feel of her was absolute nothingness. Her threads of linkage gone. Nodding, Aryth moved towards his horse, unclasping his color changing cloak and letting it billow over the river and into the wind.

Jade rode faster and faster away from him. Her heart raced and she didn’t stop till she felt the horses legs begin to quiver. Night had long fallen and she was still a day away from Tar Valon. An Aes Sedai alone. Jade avoided town and cities, simply staying to the outskirts, preferring to be alone with the sky and the cloak of darkness. No one was out in the chilly air, just Jade. She was certainly alone and weak. Her eyes were red from holding back tears of confusion. She had brought so much pain to Aryth, and unknowingly as well. The bond was broken as was the woman. She had hurt someone when it was her job to heal them. Being a Yellow meant she was supposed to heal the weak and the broken but she had done the opposite. “I broke him!” she cried, hating herself every moment for anything she had ever done to displease Aryth or every time she had ever made him do something for her.

Leading her horse to the river they had followed previously, Jade dismounted, staring at the moon for a while before sighing. Her life had changed in an instant again. “I am still here” she murmured, wondering how that was possible, feeling as strangely empty as she was. She was indeed still there though. Jade pinched herself once or twice to be sure but it was indeed true. She was sure she was alive and did not necessarily enjoy that.

The night wind tousling her hair, Jade sat on the ground, watching the kindling she had gathered burn into a fire. It was so easy, the One Power. It could be used for practically anything. It could attach or detach one form another and kill or save a life. Jade wound the Power around her. It was a shield of sorts although she would not sleep. Night had become her blanket now. Cold eyes watched the crackling embers light up the dark and empty night. No longer was there life in those eyes, just hardness. She had failed at her mission as a Sister of the Yellow Ajah.

EPILOUGUE

Upon returning to the Tower, Jade had obviously changed. That night she had spent, the first alone and without the bond, led her to many more for about a month. When she returned without Aryth, many were more than shocked. Jade had become something hardened, a far removed shell of the woman she had been. Jade had deserted everyone before leaving, left many hanging and found that they still were. Her mentees had been worried and confused and couldn’t even understand or be told what had happened. Rumors circulated and Jade ignored. She devoted all of her waking hours to the Infirmary and did not even step out of doors for anything. She had become a work a holic. It was as if, she had truly lost her purpose and was fighting to regain it.

Once regarded as highly respectable and friendly despite her position, Jade was still respectable just feared now. Novice skittered from her path when she approached, her pretty face shadowed and figure slimming as she hardly had time to neither sleep nor eat. Jade was a haggard replacement for the woman she used to be and had dismissed any notions that it was even possible to be a woman and an Aes Sedai. She resolved never to bond again, nor to let herself become close to anyone. Jade Sedai was and resolved to be, untrusting, as she should have been, so long ago.