The diminutive thing held the bundle out to the Yellow, “It’s my…my kitty…” She said sniffling. Lydia smiled softly at her and took the bundle. She rose and brought it to a nearby table. Unwrapping it carefully revealed a small black kitten breathing shallowly. It was bleeding from a wound in its side obviously from another animal. “I…I found her just that way and brought her straight here. Can you help?” She gave the girl another warm smile and nodded, “I believe so.” Embracing [I]saidar[/I], Lydia carefully Healed the cat who immediately began mewling and wriggling. The little girl squealed with delight as the Yellow handed back the kitten. She threw her arms around the Sister and thanked her profusely. “Now you go take her and feed her but not too much.” The girl nodded before rushing off.

Lydia chuckled and then made her way back to her office. She curled herself up into a comfortable chair by the window and looked out at the late morning sky. Her thoughts wandered back to her own childhood. That was how it had all started for her. Her own silly cat. That had been the start of her channeling. That one event had been the beginning of what had led her to the White Tower. She was in one of those thoughtful moods. What if…What if she had never channeled. Where would she be? What would she be doing? She allowed her mind to wander down that path and a scene played in her mind.

The common room of The Golden Wolfe bustled with people. A gleeman from Illian was onstage entertaining the patrons. The sounds of two men laughing harder and louder than the rest boomed over the crowd. Lydia entered the room a small girl in tow. She smiled fondly at the two men sitting at a table by the stage. Her dear father, Donovan and her dear husband Maven looked as if they had shared a few too many glasses of their favorite wine. The wine those Vitans in Caemlyn put out was just magnificent and the two men drank it like water.

Lydia walked over to them lighting each cheek with a kiss and the girl looking almost a miniature replica of her mother crawled into Maven’s lap and was immediately doted on. The young wife was about to sit when a flustered young man rushed in. “Mistress al’Tovan! Miriella…the baby is coming!” Whitebridge’s best Wisdom smiled and giving one last kiss to her family rushed out the door.

“Lydia Sedai…” Accepted Sariah stood just inside her door curtsying. The young Yellow snapped back to the real world and sighed, “Yes, child.” The young woman rose. “You are needed right away.” The Aes Sedai stood as the last whispers of a life she had never known and really was glad she was not living with one little sweet exception flitted away and she followed the banded dress into the infirmary.

Several hours later hunger rumbled in the Aes Sedai’s stomach. She decided it would be fun to gather a picnic lunch together for herself and Krion. Stopping back in her office to clean up, a plant by the window brings a smile to her face. A VERY large aloe plant grew with a very faded yellow ribbon she had kept with the plant each time she had repotted it. Her mind wandered off again to what life might be like had Braden not interfered with his two friends. Another scene played through her head…one she wished didn’t, that made her suddenly not so hungry.

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Lydia stood outside her father’s inn in Whitebridge. Her pulse raced. She was there alone. She knew she should have brought someone with her… Braden perhaps or Krion. She knew either friend would have been better than her facing Maven by herself. They were both back at the Vitan farm though. Members of both their families were in danger and it was all the Yellow’s fault. How could she possibly ask them to leave their loved ones and come help the very person who was the reason they were all there?

The Aes Sedai took a deep shuddering breath and began to ascend the stairs when the door opened. There he stood…the man who had haunted her nightmares for years. Still he made her heart lurch and her knees weaken. “Maven,” she said breathlessly. “Lydia,” a dark foreboding smile spread across his face, “now you will see how it feels.” Before she knew what was happening she felt the weave settle over her. She had been so thrown at the sight of him she was too late to save herself. “No!” Lydia screamed before falling to her knees. “Now, you are mine…” The compulsion was solid and strong. “Come to me,” the deep voice thundered. She went without hesitation…

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Lydia shuddered and shook away the daydream. She curled back up into her chair with tears in her eyes. She did not think she would ever get over that day and she thanked the Creator…and Braden… every day for Krion.

It had been a taxing day. The young Yellow kept seeming to get caught up in the what might have beens. Lydia was glad to finally be sitting across from her love having a romantic dinner in her rooms. She cringed at the knock on the door interrupting them. Of course it was another emergency that needed to be tended by the Master of Arms. With a kiss and a sigh he was off and she idly moved the food around her plate with her fork. Deciding moping in her rooms was pointless Lydia decided to head to the Gholam Inn for a drink and some company.

Entering the common room she found an empty seat at the bar and ordered some pear brandy. As she sipped the warm amber liquid the door opened and in walked Amelie with Christian on her heels. Lydia smiled at the happy couple. She adored them both and was glad they had found happiness together. There had been a time though she had been sure the dashing Andoran would be her Warder among other things. What if she had never pulled so far ahead of him in training? What if they both had not ignored what was between them? Another blasted scene played through her head.

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Lydia’s amber eyes opened and she blinked wearily. She smiled softly brushing black hair off the still sleeping sun darkened face. The gray eyes blinked open with a yawn and strong arms drew her too him: soft lips covered her own. “Good morning,” she said softly when he finally released her. “Why don’t we stay here until it’s a good afternoon?” the deep voice tempted her. She laughed softly and rose from the large bed. She adored Ashlin and loved spending time there with it’s Lord. “You know I promised your sister I would accompany her to Caemlyn.” Christian growled playfully pulling her back into bed, “I might start thinking you enjoy my sister’s company more than mine.” He pinned her beneath him.

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Lydia’s face flushed and she took a deep draft from her glass. Marquez, the barkeep, laughed. “You would not be the first to look at the man that way, Aes Sedai.” The Yellow glowered at the Domani, “You hush.” A few hours of drink and good company saw her back to her bed, a sleeping Krion already there. She crawled in next to him with a sigh. Fantasies aside, she could not be happier than when she was with him.

The next morning Krion told her what had pulled him away. One of the Green Sisters had challenged a [I]manshima[/I] to a duel. If she won he would allow her to bond him. If he won she would leave him be. It seemed he lost. He was certainly not ready to be a Warder.

Lydia found the whole thing entertaining. She had been a hair’s breadth away from choosing the Green Ajah and wondered what her life might be like if she had not walked to the Sisters of the Yellow Ajah when she had been raised to the shawl. Once Krion was gone she pulled her daggers out from their spot on the shelf and practiced her thoughts wandering off again…

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A horde of trollocs crested the hill and on her call a line of lightning and fireballs flew at them. It took a vast number of the vile creatures out. She rode her mount behind the army’s line as arrows flew. She called out orders and was listened to without question. The lines advanced and the men began to fight hand to hand with the trollocs. She wove more explosions deep into the ranks of the enemy…

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“Ouch!” Lydia cursed. Her daydream had her not paying attention and she nicked herself with the dagger. “Foolish daydreams.” She chided herself for the way her mind had been focusing on things that would never be as of late. The Yellow quickly wrapped the cut to stop the bleeding and walked herself to the infirmary. She had one of the Accepted practice their Healing skill as it was such a minor injury. After checking over the patrons she once again sat in her office. There was a letter from her father. One last daydream made its way into her head. What if her mother had never given her away?

Lydia sat in the Gholam Inn awaiting her dinner companions. She had just returned from the Blight where she had accompanied some of the Green Sisters to record what happened to add to a history she was writing of the Ajah. She had not imagined herself a Brown when she began channeling but honoring her mother had won out in the end.

A wide smile split the Yellow’s face when her parents entered the Inn and joined her each embracing her warmly…

Lydia one again found herself in tears. “Foolishness!” She dried her eyes and steeled her resolve. “I will not get myself wrapped up in any more of this ridiculousness!” She vowed to herself to just live in the here and now and appreciate the life the Wheel had weaved her.