Alexandra was feeding the chickens when the gateway appeared not to far away. She dropped the bucket of feed in surprise and rushed over to where she saw him looking hurt. "Catthou, what happened?" Her voice, the way she held herself, everything about her screamed worry. She had forgotten to shut the gate to the chicken pen.

Catthou looked up from his hands and knees, surprised at the familiar voice, the familiar face. He didn't feel the bond change, however. It felt... distant, as well as lopsided. It spiraled off so much that he couldn't trace it. It probably just came with hitting his head. He brought himself quickly up to his feet, vision swimming, threatening to topple him again. He put an arm out for support. "You ask that?"

Alexandra put a shoulder under his arm, letting him rest part of his weight on her. "Of course I do. I have to worry about my husband, don't I?"

Catthou blinked, headache momentarily gone. Husband? Had they been there yet? He remembered a week or two ago, she had agreed to marry him, but had they gotten around to it? Had he forgotten? His headache came back full force, and he leaned on Alex, muscles tense in preparation for Alex to Heal him.

"Oh, dear. Let's get you inside and lay you down. You really don't look well at all." Alexandra tried to lead him to the house, shooing a couple of chickens away from their feet. Catthou had never liked the chickens. She was surprised that he had lasted so long at The Farm before finally leaving with his hatred of the birds.

Catthou tensed even more, staying put, not budging one inch. "Alex," he sounded desperate, "Are you feeling alright?"

"I'll feel better once I have gotten you to lie down and have gotten some hot tea into you."

Catthou shrugged it off as a messed up bond, moving enough to walk into the house. He stopped when he got inside, having to take his time to notice everything - his vision still didn't seem to work right.

The furniture was much the same as Catthou would have remembered except for the living room having an actual couch and a chair. Embroidered and crocheted pieces decorated the furniture and the windows. Over the back of the couch was draped the quilt her grandmother had made for her when she was little.

Catthou's jaw fell as he eyed the room. What was this? "Where..." he stammered, "Where...." Something inside him felt very sick. He stared, horrified, at Alex.

"Where is what, my dear?" She eyed him with confusion, her worry for him growing by the second. What had happened to him out... wherever he had gone.

Catthou released his support on Alex, stumbling over to the couch and falling onto it, lying down. He immediately shut his eyes, clamping his hands over them. His voice was a hoarse whisper. "Do you remember... how we met?"

Alexandra stopped on her way to the kitchen and turned around to face him. "Of course I do." Her eyes glazed over as the memory returned to her almost as if it were happening right before her eyes. "It was getting late one afternoon and dark clouds had started to roll in. I had traveled south of my village on my family's horse in search of this wooded area I knew that held various herbs I would need for my simples. Once we had reached the woods, I slid out of the saddle and told the horse to stay. I began collecting herbs when a loud crack of thunder sounded above me. I turned and went to calm the horse. Before I could reach her, the thunder sounded again and lightening struck near us. The horse screamed and took off running back towards the village without me. I chased after her, but there was no way I could catch up. Suddenly the clouds seemed to burst and I was drenched in the downpour. I could barely see my hand right in front of my face; the rain was coming down so hard. I shivered and tried to find my way back to the cover of the trees but was so turned around I had no idea where to go. It was then that I bumped into something. I felt arms and a cloak wrap around me, and I found myself up against the warmth of someone else. The rain was no longer hitting me, and I looked up into your face. It was like there was some kind of barrier surrounding us. You smiled down at me and then looked away out over what should have been a visible landscape on any normal day. I couldn't tell what was going on, but you seemed to be concentrating rather hard. Then the rain slowly lightened until it finally stopped coming down at all. With another grin from you, my clothes were suddenly dry, and there was more water at my feet than before. A small feeling of something semi solid, almost like a gust of wind, brushed my hair back from my face. You then walked me home where my horse was standing outside with my worried parents."

Catthou had managed to lose his breath, going perfectly still during her story. If words could kill, Alex's words would have laid him in his grave right there. "Where did we go? What did we do?" His voice escalated, panicked. "What did I do to you!?" He kept his hands firmly clamped over his eyes, breathing heavily. He was near tears.

Alexandra stepped back into the doorframe in fright. He had never acted this way in front of her. "What do you mean? You didn't do anything to me... unless you count marrying me..." The taint on saidin was gone. Everyone associated with Asha'men knew that... wasn't it? He couldn't be losing his mind, could he? What did the Black Tower have him out doing this time?

Marrying. Not everything was bad about whatever was going on. He forced his eyes open, a tear streaming from each. "Alex," his head still throbbed, but he ignored it. He was good at that. "Come here. Please, I have to see you." He was lying on his back, staring straight up, afraid to move his eyes lest he get more dizzy than he already was.

Alexandra walked cautiously over to him and perched on the couch next to him. She took his hand gently into hers and stared into his eyes. It didn't matter really if he was having... problems. He was still her husband.

Catthou stared up at her, and gradually, his eyes cleared. "We met in Saldaea," he stated matter-of-factly.

Alexandra nodded.

Catthou took a deep breath. "And we're married."

Alexandra nodded again.

"And..." he paused. "And what happened after that?"

"Well, we lived at the Black Tower for a while. There's a surprising number of women there. And one day you came in and told me you would be leaving on some sort of mission and offered me the option of staying because it could be dangerous or going with you. Obviously I went with you. That's how we ended up here. But of course you know all of this. I don't know why you're asking me..."

"Alright," Catthou closed his eyes, then pushed himself up. "I think I really need to lay down." He stood, trying to make his way to the bedroom door. The one? Where was Alex's? He turned to her for help.

Alexandra jumped up and lent her shoulder once again. "Let me help you," she said unnecessarily and led him to their one rather large bed.

Catthou stopped one step through the door. It was... a room! _One_ room! His vision faded, and in his few remaining seconds of consciousness, he felt something through the bond. A scream. A cry. Darkness.

Alexandra struggled with the sudden pull of all of his weight. It took everything she had in her to get him into the bed. Once he was lying there, she carefully undressed him so that he could sleep comfortable and then went to brew some tea. She would have to find out what was wrong with him.

* * *

Alexandra screamed and cried out Catthou's name as she fell to her knees. It was like he had just disappeared! Only, he wasn't dead. That much she was sure of. He was there... but he wasn't there. The horrible wrenching feeling made her sick and she lost everything she had eaten right where she was now kneeling, gasping for breath in the middle of the dining area. Light, what had happened?!

* * *

The room was dark when Catthou woke, A warm drink was sitting on his. The bond was still a huge mess. "Alex..." he mumbled out, still half asleep, eyes still mostly closed.

Alexandra stood from the rocking chair and walked over to him. She had closed her eyes once in fear that she would miss when he needed her most. "Yes, my love?"

Catthou let out a long sigh, a smile twitching at his lips. "I had a bad dream... I dreamed-" he paused for a minute in thought. "I dreamed you didn't want me."

"Oh, dear. That dream again? You know it's not true." She leaned down and kissed his forehead, keeping her head lowered incase he wanted more than that.

"Yes," he mumbled, "I had to force you. I had to command you, to break you..."

"You have never had to 'force' me to do anything and have never commanded me to do anything... beyond telling me to get out of the way when a weave was going the wrong way."

Catthou was moving in an instant. His arms were around Alex's waist and he was holding her firmly, nose-to-nose. Catthou was wide-eyed, near frantic. "You can channel," he rushed out.

Alexandra blinked at him completely taken back by surprise. "What are you talking about?"

Catthou loosened his arms from around her. His burned arm hurt - she should know. But she didn't. She didn't even channel. "No," he stated, definitely more calmly. "You can't. You're my wife. I can channel. I am an Asha'man of the Black Tower." A thought struck him. "Kids?"

Alexandra grew solemn and looked away from him. "We have discussed this before..."

"Then say it again!" He put his hand on her cheek, pushing her to look back at him. Pain streaked his face, hurt in his eyes. "I need to know!"

'What happened to you?' she wanted to ask, but found herself unable to at this moment. "We can't have children. *I* can't have children. I told you that before we were even married..."

Catthou threw his arms around Alex again, hugging her as tightly as he could. "I married you because of you, not because of kids. I love you! I don't even like kids!" His arm continued it flaring pain, but it only made him hug tighter. "I love you Alexandra!"

Alexandra hugged him back as tightly as she could. "I love you, too, Catthou."

Catthou! His name rung in his ears, his vision swirling and spinning as he looked this way and that through the barely-lit room. He let himself relax, falling back onto the bed, keeping Alex to him. "I must have hit my head pretty hard," he said. But something still burned inside him, some ember of truth, of difference. This was not - could not - be real.

"It'll be alright, my dear. You'll just need to take some time off to recuperate for a while."

"Yes, recuperate," he smiled slyly, closing his eyes. This bed was a lot more comfortable than the one he had back in- Back where? His dream? Was it even that? He had scars to prove it existed. "Did I ever tell you how I got..." he twitched his fragile limb, "...this?"

"You had said it was an accident from back when you were a soldier. Apparently someone wasn't very good at controlling Fire or something."

"I would never forget that. I remember it all. Everything." He tried to move his head again, only managing to make his eyes feel like they had been open for more time at once than they should be. "Can you H-" he cut off, scowling at nothing. "What do you have for achy eyes?"

Alexandra immediately rattled off a concoction she had learned from her mother.

"Yes, that'll do." He turned quickly, pulling Alex in close to him in a solid kiss. His hands slid towards the buttons on her dress as he parted their lips. "But first, I believe we have a little catching up to do."

* * *

It had been a few months since Catthou had "come to". He had been too scared to go back to the Black Tower. For all Catthou knew, Kal could still be alive - somehow - and dead men walking was not something Catthou could handle. He had adjusted to the vision change quite rapidly, mostly during a "re-introduction" with Alex's parents.

Alexandra had had to carefully explain to her parents that Catthou had suffered an injury while in the field, so they would need to take their time with him as she had. It had been relatively easy all things considered.

For now, though, Catthou sat on a stump near the house, watching the sky turn different shades as the day began. He was getting rather good at manipulating the colors of the sky. A small cloud here, a patch of ice cold air there... it wasn't that hard. One thing that troubled him constantly was not knowing where Alex was. He constantly called out her name, panicking at not finding her in the back of his mind. It made him jump when he heard a footstep behind him.

This was just such an occasion because Alex was walking up behind him with a plate of food and a glass of wine.

Catthou turned, almost ready to lash out with Saidin. He didn't even need to seize it, though, as he saw what he half-expected. His wife - Light, they were married! - approaching with sustenance. "Thank you," he smiled.

Alexandra sat down on the ground beside him once he had taken the food and drink from her hands. She pulled her knees up under her chin and wrapped her arms around them. She looked worried, scared, surprised, and excited all at the same time.

Catthou took a sip from the wine, eyeing Alex over the brim of the glass. He had trouble picking apart her emotions; she wasn't in his head anymore. "Something on your mind?"

"Yes..." she replied tentatively. "I... I think we need to talk." Her voice trembled slightly at the end.

Catthou immediately set the food aside. The glass tipped, but Catthou didn't notice. He lowered himself to his knees, resting on his shins in front of Alex. He stared intently at her. Even a million miles away he could have felt her worry. "I'm always here for you."

"I just... I don't just don't know how this is even possible..."

Catthou edged forward to embrace his troubled wife. He had no idea what she was going on about, but she seemed to be traumatized. "You can tell me," he whispered softly.

Alexandra whispered back disbelievingly, "I... I'm pregnant."

Catthou froze. Not a single thought ran through his mind. Then, out of nowhere, a sob escaped his lips. He was crying. For the good or the bad? What would happen to Alex? What about the baby? How was this even possible. He was shaking.

Alexandra wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly. She was crying too. She was so filled with a mixture of emotions that she didn't know what to think.

They stayed there for who knew how long, crying their tears, taking comfort in each other's presence. Finally, after he had calmed enough to form words, Catthou spoke. "What will we do? What will happen to you?"

"I don't know what will happen, but all we can do is wait and see. I never thought it was possible but... we're having the child dreamed of, Catthou..."

Catthou closed his eyes, trying to keep his thoughts straight. A child. Wait and see. Alex. They'd have to live their lives the way they had, knowing that everything would change in such short time. "A child," his voice shook. "Our child. How can... what can... we do?"

"Well, I guess we *could* start coming up with names..."

"N-names?" Catthou stuttered out. She was completely unsure of the future, and she was thinking about names?

"Well, yes. That is a starting point. I mean, we won't be able to call our child 'it' or 'baby' all his or her life."

Catthou took a deep breath, leaning back with a contemplating look on his face. After a minute, he smiled, seeming to have an idea. "If it's a girl, we could name her after her mother."

Alexandra looked at him curiously for a moment the started laughing. "No, no. That would be silly. I mean, we'd never know who you were calling out to."

Catthou shrugged and looked away with a little mumble. "It was just an idea. What do you have?"

Alexandra reached out to brush his hair back with the tips of her fingers. "I know it was. Maybe we could go with something a little different, though. Like Meri or Sahlil for a girl or Tevolan or Barret for a boy. We could even name a boy after you since you seem to like the idea of sharing names," she added with a wink.

Catthou cringed at a couple of the names, including sharing his own. "No, no... I think I can keep my name to myself. Sahlil..." he reminisced, "Where would you get a name like that?" He eyed Alex as though she had gone made.

Alexandra shrugs. "It just popped into my head."

"I don't know. None of those names seem to be connecting." His eyes roamed the horizon. "Rayne... Yeah, Rayne would be a nice name for a girl Or Khrys. A boy, hmm. This is challening. There's... Urza, Kamahl... Oh! Another girl's name would be Jeska."

Alexandra shakes her head. "I'm not sure about any of those. We could go with something for like Sahel or Maicin. Tristan and Trista."

Catthou threw his arms wide and leaned back, falling onto his back on the dirt. "Why don't we just name it something simple? Cloud, Braids, Jewel, Rose..."

"When you get too simple, the person usually loses his or her identity."

"But we can't get too complicated. What else do you have?"

"How about Talina or Aerith?"

"Aerith..." Catthou lifted his head off the ground, looking at Alex. He pondered that name, rolling it's syllables through his head. It was the name of something he saw in a book. A symbol, he recalled, from some ancient stone. No, it wasn't Aerith, it was... "...Aemaeth."

Alexandra eyed him curiously for a moment before finally smiling. "That is beautiful."

Catthou blinked, staring at her with an unreadable expression. A second passed before he realized what she was actually talking about. "Oh. Yeah. Yeah, I guess it is." He smiled broadly.

"But," he leaned forward, "What if..."

Alexandra leaned forward as well and gently kissed him on the lips. "The name is too perfect. I don't think we'll have anything to worry about."

Catthou grinned, pushing himself more forward, playfully falling onto Alex, wrapping his arms around her as they fell back.

Alexandra giggled then looked at him somewhat seriously, though a smile still bloomed on her face. "Do you have any idea how happy you've made me?"

Catthou was shaking again, but this time it wasn't out of fear. Pure joy ran through his veins, filling his very being. In a move of pure passion, he dove forward, drawing Alexandra in for a deep, affectionate kiss.

* * *

It had only been about a month or so, hadn't it? Time seemed to move forward so slowly without him around. The feeling of queasiness had not gone away since his apparent disappearance. How was it she could be feeling him yet not feeling him? It was like he was there, but so far distant that the bond was only a bare thread... a thread that could snap at any moment. Alexandra had all but ceased eating. She couldn't keep anything down, but her Healer's knowledge told her that if she didn't have at least something in her stomach for a few minutes, then she wouldn't be around for what would hopefully be Catthou's return. She was still managing to care for the chickens and the garden, but, other than that, most of her days were spent getting sick and lying in bed. What had happened to him?

* * *

Alexandra sang to herself as she tossed feed from her bowl to the chickens. They were eagerly pecking away at every grain they could get their greedy little beaks on. Once the bowl was empty, she placed it back on the post next to the gate and started to step out of the chicken yard. It had been about three months and her imminent motherhood was showing. There was no hiding the bulge of her stomach even had she wanted to.

Catthou waved to the nice people as he left the small village. His pack was filled with all kinds of goodies from books to sugared treats. He walked down the road away from the village. He had a nice out-of-the-way spot for gateways, and quickly was back at the house, seeing Alex getting done with the chickens.

Alexandra looked over and smiled when she saw her husband finally returning. She stepped forward, "Catth--" and stopped moving forward, swaying left and right. The world was swimming and there was nothing she could do to stop it. She reached over to grab the fence post but missed, falling to the ground unconscious.

Catthou rushed over, buffering her fall with a pad of Air, quickly dropping to his knees beside her. What was happening? She had never been overly-ill, nothing rest and warm soup couldn't help. He clenches his teeth as he took Alex's head in his hands, calling out softly but urgently, "Alex, Alex!" He didn't know what he would do if she wouldn't wake to words.

Alexandra moaned softly as she slowly came to. "Get me... inside," she told him. She knew she wouldn't have the strength to walk there on her own right now. She needed to be on their bed, not this hard ground.

Catthou hurried to support Alex, Saidin doing most of the work. A pecking chicken jumped in their path, and he kicked it out of the way with a muttered, "scram!" He glanced over and saw the gate was still open. It could wait. He took Alex into their room as quickly as he could, laying her down onto the bed. A tear streaked down his cheek as he called out her name again. "Alex, please, speak to me!"

"I'm not dead, Catthou," she whispered, trying to lighten the mood somewhat. The bed was definitely more comfortable than that ground. "Please, just do as I ask and don't stop to ask questions." She began telling him the names of some herbs, what they looked like and where to find them in the cabinets and how to brew them properly. She needed a couple to chew on while they waited for the water to boil for the tea.

Alexandra knew what was wrong with her. She was never meant to become pregnant, but this case wasn't the worst she had seen or heard about in her studies. She knew she would make it through this. And the child too. It was just a matter of convincing Catthou of that. In fact a couple of the herbs were completely useless, but she needed to keep him busy for a short time while the rest began working on her.

Catthou followed her orders down to the last words, whipping threads of Air to and fro while using his hands only on what she immediately required. He ran back to her room with a small pouch of herbs she had asked for, sending one last thread of Fire into the tea kettle to set it to an immediate boil. "T-this is what you wanted?" He offered the small bag.

Alexandra took it and examined it. "It's exactly right." She pulled out a few leaves and began to chew.

"Alex, what's..." He knew the water was ready, but he couldn't bring himself to leave her side. "What's going on? What's happening to you?"

Alexandra took his hand gently in hers. "Just complications. I'll be fine. And so will Aemaeth."

Catthou wiped away a tear that had worked it's way down his cheek. His hand tightly gripped hers, and he had to consciously loosen his hold on her. "Complications? H-how bad?"

"Nothing that bed rest won't help. We'll be fine. Now, about that tea..."

Catthou nodded, bolting back into the kitchen to pour some hot water. The herbs were lined up on the counter, and he quickly mixed them precisely how she had requesting, bringing the steaming cup back to the bed.

Alexandra took the cup and sipped gingerly. She was already starting to feel better. "Thank you."

Catthou was still tense, ready to jump if Alex said to. "Is there anything else you need? Anything at all. Name it and it's yours."

"Just for you to stay with me." She patted the space on the bed next to her.

Catthou carefully but quickly fixed his spot next to her, nuzzling up against her, eyes still brimming with tears.

"It'll be alright, my love. Having a child is almost never easy."

No... No, I guess not." He sniffed and wiped his eyes, relaxing just slightly. "Do we need to see somebody? Your mother must know something, can she help?"

Alexandra shook her head. "We don't need to see anyone, but we can go visit my parents if that will make you feel better. Just let me rest for a while before the trip."

"Yes, it would make me feel better." His arms slid around her, still shivering. He just couldn't calm himself. "After you rest," he murmured, closing his eyes. "After you rest."

* * *

Alexandra shuffled through the house. She wasn't feeling well at all but tried to hide as much of her discomfort from her husband as possible. He worried too much as it was. Her mother had just told her that this was something that happened in their family. No woman had had an easy birthing. It was just the price they had to pay for trying to having children.

Catthou finished feeding the chickens early. He had made an effort to learn to care for them, but he could still think they were messy. And he was definitely allowed to not like them (although he kept that hidden.) He left their pen and tossed the empty bowl next to the house door as he entered, quickly kicking off his snowy boots and shrugging off his winter coat. Seeing Alex up, Catthou rushed over to her with a worried frown.

Alexandra smiled at him as she stopped just inside the kitchen door. "What would you like for breakfast?"

"I would like what I make with my own hands," he said with concern. "And if you would like something, I would be more than willing to make it for you."

Alexandra looked almost hurt. "Catthou, I'm not an invalid..."

Catthou sighed. He had tried explaining this before, but he just never could find the words. "I would never forgive myself if something happened to my wife and I could have prevented it."

Alexandra sighed knowingly. "Will you at least let me help? I won't lift anything heavy."

Catthou thought it over for a second, then nodded his head slowly. He couldn't keep her cooped up forever. "That would be fine. Just don't overstress yourself." He led them into the kitchen to cook up a meal.

Alexandra beamed. After all, she had to make sure the boy knew how to cook some things.

Catthou threw something together with his wife's help. He would have to negotiate the work down; trying to stop a Saldaean in their tracks was like stopping the seasons. Lydia Sedai had told him that back in Tar Valon, in that inn. That inn? Catthou stared down at the finished meal, ready to be served onto plates. He had to have been there, which means he had met Alex there. But she wasn't- she wouldn't- He accidentally dropped the eating utensils he was holding, still lost in his thoughts.

Alexandra eyed him worriedly then tried to lean down to get the utensils off the floor. Instead she leaned against the counter. It seemed that she could't bend down quite as easily as she used to.

Catthou turned, eyes portraying worry mixed with curiosity. He stared at Alexandra for the longest time, then picked up the dropped items, tossing them in the wash basin for later and getting some clean ones. "Sorry about that," he muttered with an apologetic smile.

"It's alright. Just... help me get this stuff to the table."

Catthou nodded, setting up dinner perfectly. He surveyed his work, casting a shadowed glance at Alex. "Have you ever met any Aes Sedai?"

"Not that I'm aware of." She settled herself down carefully in a chair.

"Alright," he nodded, taking his own seat. He must have done a real good job convincing her she wasn't Aes Sedai in a really short time. He served their plates with healthy proportions, then smiled. "Thank you for helping me prepare this meal, my love."

"You're welcome. Thank you for doing all this."

"It's not a problem. I would give up the world for you." He blew a kiss across the table before beginning the meal.

Alexandra giggled and tried the food. "You did very well on this."

"You're an excellent teacher." His brow furrowed in thought. "How old were you when we met?"

Alexandra grinned. "16"

Catthou looked up, off into nothingness. "And do you know how old I was?"

"I believe you had seen somewhere around 20 years."

Catthou looked across the table, staring deep into his beloved's eyes. He almost shivered; she couldn't be lying. "You were as beautiful then as you are now," he smiled.

Alexandra blushed and looked down. Seeing her stomach, she replied. "Our daughter will be even more beautiful than me."

Catthou beamed with pride. "Our daughter. You sound so certain it's a girl."

Alexandra shrugs and grins wide. "I'm fairly certain. I could be wrong but... I doubt it. Mother seemed to think it will be a girl, too."

Catthou nodded. "Well then I'll take your word for it." He finished off the food on his plate, then glanced around the room with narrowed eyes.

"Is something wrong?"

"Do you... feel that?"

"Feel what?"

Catthou shook his head and looked down at his plate. "It's nothing." He finally made a solid decision: He was bonded to something, but it was not his wife. "You all done there?" He glanced across the table.

Alexandra nodded. Her plate was completely empty. "Though I would like some ice peppers. Do we have any left?"

"I suppose we might." He gathered their plates and took them into the kitchen to the wash basin. After a bit of searching, he did manage to find ice peppers, and he served them to Alex on a small saucer. "For my lovely wife."

"Thank you," she replied as she began to munch on one.

Catthou stood over Alex as she ate, looking out a window at the petrified landscape, ready for more freezing. When he glanced down again, he saw his wife's rather large stomach - no, his baby. He wrapped his arms around her, resting his hands on her stomach and his chin on her shoulder. "Do you have any idea how happy you've made me?"

Alexandra smiled up at him as she set her saucer down and then placed her hands over his just as the child kicked. "I think I have an idea."

* * *

Two months later, Alex's condition had once again changed. Her stomach was huge. She had never thought it could stretch out that far. She also couldn't leave the bed except for certain necessities. Even then she had to have help from Catthou in order to do so. To have tried to move too much on her own would have put both herself and the baby in danger. That much her mother had been sure of when Catthou had brought her over for a visit.

Catthou was on his knees next to Alex, gripping her hand tightly. He had been worrying too much over her, neglecting his own health. He stayed awake a good portion of each night in case Alex woke up. He kissed her hand lightly, taking a deep breath to aid in staying awake.

Alexandra opened her eyes and looked at him. "Lay down with me and go to sleep or I won't be able to sleep. I promise that if I need anything I'll wake you immediately."

Catthou shook his head, eyes beginning to drift closed. "You sleep. I'll be fine," he mumbled.

"I won't sleep unless you do too."

"I can't sleep, Alex," he whispered. "What if something goes wrong? What if I don't wake up in time?"

"You will wake up in time. I'm sure of it."

Catthou slowly rose, dragging his feet in getting to his side of the bed. For being as tired as he was, Catthou made sure to carefully lay down, not wishing to shake the bed or disturb Alex at all. "What if something goes wrong?" he asked through closed eyes in a hushed but worried tone.

"Nothing will go wrong." 'At least not yet,' she thought. She was already beginning to suspect some things that she hadn't spoken with him about.

"But what if?" He pulled himself closer to her, breathing softly on her neck.

"Then I will wake you..." she drifted off slowly, contentedly, having him so close to her.

Catthou fell asleep the moment he heard Alex's breathing enter the steady rhythm of unconsciousness.

* * *

The woman who was once an Aes Sedai... wait! Had she ever been one of those? It was like a distant memory, like a dream all but forgotten... Alexandra Qisar was wasting away. Barely consuming enough food to keep her slight, and growing ever slighter, frame alive. Winter was fast approaching and the cold winds were already blowing through the Saldaean countryside. She did her best to preserve what food she could and to take care of the chickens, but she was growing weak with worry, illness, and a lack of nutrition. He was still there! She could feel him! She just couldn't find him... Had he known something like this would happen, surely he wouldn't have bonded her... Her vague memories told her that he had bonded her for her own health and well-being. That she had all but stopped eating once before, that she had stopped living as she had when they had met--whenever that had been--and he had needed to bond her in order to save her. Of course, now the bond itself seemed to be what was causing the harm worse than what she had apparently been going through before.

* * *

Alexandra awoke in the middle of the night. She cries out for Catthou. The time has come, and she's suddenly frightened. Having helped someone give birth before was very different from experiencing it first hand.

Catthou's eyes shot open, having only been half-asleep. He still ached from not getting sleep, but he knew that moving slow might mean something more terrible than he was willing to deal with. In an instant he was gripping Alexandra's hand, ready to act at her words.

Alexandra gripped his hand tightly. She couldn't see him in the dark of the night.

Catthou almost forgot he could channel, almost gave up Alexandra's hand to light a candle so he could see. It took him only a second to remember, and in that same second, a candle at the far end of the room was lit, casting a very faint light across the room. "I'm here," Catthou whispered.

The time had finally come. The fear was quickly replaced with the desire to see the face of what had to be the most beautiful child in the world... at least according to the mother. Alex didn't really have the strength to focus on Catthou's worried questions and the process of giving birth, so she sent him to fetch hot water from the kitchen and some towels.

Catthou acted reluctantly. He was torn between not wanting to leave his wife during her time of need and knowing that if things were to go smoothly, he would need to do as she said. Catthou returned quickly with exactly what she asked for.

Light was filtering in through the windows and Alex was sweating with the effort of giving birth even though it was the middle of the coldest month of the year. The day continued to wear on and no real progress seemed to be made.

Catthou only appeared to fret more as time passed. He was only able to aid Alex how he was instructed to, his lack of knowledge on the birthing subject making him near-useless.

Alexandra did, at one point, send Catthou to make something to eat and bring her something to drink. As the day wore on until it was sunset once more, she was losing strength rapidly without having consumed anything. Once she had managed to force something down and little strength was gained, she realized what had to be happening. The baby was finally starting to come, and it would be all she could do to hold out long enough to see the child.

Catthou felt so hopeless as he watched his beloved wither away before his eyes. He promised himself: as soon as the baby was born, he would focus entirely on restoring Alex's strength. His emotions turned to steel when he saw a change come over her. This was it.

The child was coming and all that could be done was to have Catthou get ready to take the baby. She sweated and struggled and did what she could to help the baby along her way. It was a girl, she just knew it! Alex, was, however, growing weaker the more time passed.

Birthings were never pretty, but this one was worse than normal as Alex had suspected it would be. It wouldn't be long now. Finally, the child was born, and Alex weakly told Catthou what to do. She just wanted to hold the little one for a bit...

"Alex..." Catthou whispered. The baby was wrapped snuggly in a blanket, it's cry quiet but demanding. Catthou clutched the small form close to him. "Alex, our baby girl," he whispered, coming up beside her. He extended the blanketed bundle to her. "Our Aemaeth."

Alexandra held her arms in such a way as to indicate for him to lay the girl in her arms. "Let me hold her, please," she said weakly.

Catthou laid the baby girl in his wife's arms, kneeling on the bed next to Alexandra and wrapping his arms around her.

"She's beautiful..." She looked away from the child for a moment to look at Catthou with tears brimming in her eyes. "Take care of her, my love."

Catthou shuddered, bad thoughts suddenly running through his mind. "No, no," he slid his arms farther around her, drawing himself closer to Alexandra and Aemaeth. "_We're_ going to take care of her. Us. Together. We can do it." Tears bloomed in his eyes. Words could not stop the inevitable. His words came out shivering, quiet as a summer breeze. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Catthou," she replied. She couldn't deny what was about to happen and was surprisingly at peace with all of it. She only regretted not being able to watch her daughter grow up. "Don't try to do it alone. Find someone to help you. Someone to be a mother to her."

A tear streaked down Catthou's cheak, his lower lip near quivering. "No one else will ever be her mother. You're one of a kind, irreplaceable, Alexandra Qisar." He lowered his lips to Alexandra's for one last kiss.

Alexandra returned the kiss and then the kiss stopped as she lay there completely still, her arms still holding the child as protectively as possible.

Catthou wept the entire night, holding his wife and daughter. He couldn't bear to take the child away from Alexandra. Aemaeth had settled against her and had fallen asleep. Catthou thought she was smiling, but tears distorted his vision. Mere minutes before dawn, Catthou's tears stopped, and Aemaeth opened her eyes. The silence was deathly thin, but Catthou managed to pick up Aemaeth without any sound. He began walking from the room, stopping at the door to look back at Alexandra. The image burned into his mind. With that, Catthou left. He left the house with only the clothes on his back and the child cradled in his arms. Fifty paces from the house, he channeled. More Saidin flooded into him than ever before. More than he had ever tried to hold before. With it, he created a ward. The first part folded the light around the house, making it invisible to sight. The second part was a delayed storm. It was a storm of massive ferocity, and it would only trigger if someone were approaching the house, immediately subsiding when the person retreated. Catthou cursed himself for not having the strength to make her a proper burial site. This was the best he could do. A gateway opened before Catthou, and he stepped through. The gateway closed, and the sun peaked above the hilltops, castings its fiery light upon a bare plain in Saldaea.

* * *

Four months had passed since that climatic day. Aemaeth was growing strongly, requiring constant attention. The first two months had been worse than death itself. In all of his years training at the Black Tower, nothing could have prepared him for what life was like raising a newborn. He was able to acquire some words and manuscripts from village elders and Wisdoms, and those helped him greatly. Catthou had left Aemaeth asleep in his room at an inn while he was going out for supplies. Every particle of dust in the room was warded, so Catthou would know if someone so much as _thought_ of entering it. His last connection to the perfect life he led would not be taken from him that easily.

Two black-coated, dragon-pinned men walked the same street as Catthou. He was unsure as to what the Black Tower thought of him these days, but to be sure, he ducked into an alleyway and onto another street. Apparently he hadn't been fast enough. As he turned onto the street, a glance down the alley told him he was being followed. Catthou dodged down alleys and side streets and dodged between carts, eventually making his way out of the town and into a wooded countryside. The two Asha'man still pursued, and once a safe distance from the town, Catthou stopped. They seemed almost afraid, stopping further away from him than they would have any other person. One looked familiar, but Catthou couldn't put his finger on where he had seen him.

"You... you hung from the traitor's tree not hardly a year ago!" The first said, appearing as though he was looking at a ghost - which he likely thought he was doing. The second one - the familiar one, a short Illianer - added, "I do be the one that put the noose around your neck myself." Catthou couldn't believe what he was hearing. "I'm not dead!" Catthou cried out, more to convince himself than the Asha'man. They immediately started channeling, throwing all sorts of concoctions at Catthou. He seized Saidin, and almost immediately, huge hailstones start pummeling the other channelers. He takes the opportunity to retreat, dodging off through the trees. Something went off in the back of Catthou's mind - the ward had been breaches. Someone was in Aemaeth's room. His gateway came all too quickly, and he stepped into the room to face the other man.

Who it was startled Catthou, but his reaction was just the same as if it had been any other person. Fire to his head, blackening his eyes to charcoal and searing his brain. The gleeman fell to the floor and Catthou turned, snatching up Aemaeth. She was crying, and loudly. Where could he hide? Likely the Asha'man were still following. He opened a second gateway to his favorite Cairhienin glade. It wasn't the same. It seemed almost dead. Right in the center was a huge, carved black rock with many symbols all over it. Catthou stepped up to it, holding his crying babe closely. All too soon his legs and back were battered with air, and Catthou fell to his knees in front of the stone. "I do believe I owe you this," the Illianer's voice came from behind him. 'No,' Catthou thought, 'This can't be it.' Something on the stone caught his eye. A symbol he remembered from somewhere. He channeled fire into it, mostly because that's what he was holding. Nothing happened. Glacing upwards, he found another glyph which he could recall from a long time ago. He placed his hand upon it and leaned forward, pushing all of Saidin into that mark. "Light help me," he prayed. Aemaeth's cry turned into a scream. Catthou shivered as he prepared to die. A butterfly landed on Catthou's head, then flittered away due to Aemaeth's crying. Catthou opened his eyes and stared at the girl. On her forehead, right abover her left brow, a mark was burned on her. The mark from the stone. He had seen it in a book before. What was it called - Aerith? No. he couldn't remember. It didn't matter anyways. He must have accidentally pushed her into it when he was reaching for the other marking. The obelisk was gone, the glade was... normal? Was it supposed to be like this. Catthou pulled Aemaeth close to him, whispering soft words to try to comfort her. Catthou seized Saidin and opened a gateway to the one place he wanted least to be - his home in Saldaea. And there it was, along with a thousand ill emotions from somone else, running through his head.