Chalinda walked into the room she had been given in the manshima barracks and then walked slowly around it. It was a simple space really. Simple unadorned furniture carved from sturdy wood. Simple bedding of plain but soft cotton. There was a small fireplace and a single window with a simple wooden desk placed in front of it. The Domani ran her fingers along the smooth wood and wondered about the men and women who had sat at it before her. She wondered what paths had led them to the place she stood. Were they alone? Had they been through torment? Were they of noble birth or from the streets? Were they happy? Were their families proud?

Were their families proud? This question was the thought that stuck in the new manshima’s mind. That question was followed shortly by thoughts of her own family. Her father’s proud and war-hardened face. Her sister’s innocence before it had been taken so brutally. Her mother…all business and all woman…

Mother… Chalinda sat in the chair in front of the desk and stared out over the cold winter morning casting a deceptive sun. It looked almost like summer. Memories of her mother came one by one making her laugh and smile and then she became overwhelmed with sadness. When she gave up her name she had given up her life. Not knowing what had happened to her father and watching her sister’s brutal death had broken the young woman. At the time she had given barely a thought to the woman they had all left behind in Arad Doman. She knew in that moment she could never face her again and had given up all the ties that bound her to that life. Now, as she sat, in this proudest moment of her life with no family to share it with she regretted that decision. She knew it was time. Time to reclaim her life and family, let go of the evil deeds done to her. She no longer feared darkness and was not afraid to face death. It was time to join her new life and old, become a whole person again. And Chalinda took a sheet of Tower stationary from the stack on the desk and began to write.

Dearest Mother,

I do not even know where to begin, except with I am so terribly sorry. I cannot imagine what this past year must have been like for you. I am sure you must have thought me dead. I was, in a way, for a long time.

The caravan Lavinia and I were traveling with along with Father was set upon by trollocs. I do not what has become of Father. My sister and I were taken prisoner instead of killed like the rest of the travelers. I cannot even begin to describe the horror that we went through. I would not wish it on my worst enemy. They did eventually kill Lavinia. I am so sorry mother to have to tell you this way. I was nearly dead myself when I was rescued.

I woke up days later in the infirmary of the White Tower being tended to by the most amazing woman, other than you. Lydia Sedai kept me alive and helped me keep living. The Tower’s shining walls have been my home since. I was not the person you knew when I left, Mother. I was broken and afraid. I could not bear darkness and hid from shadows. I did not know what to do. I had lost the person in me that was your daughter. I could not even claim my own name and go by one Lydia Sedai gave me, Chalinda.

After several weeks here I found myself watching the Warders train and remembered my lessons with Father. I picked up a sword and have not set it down since. I joined the training program, Mother. I am going to be a Warder one day! I hope you are proud. I am better than many of the men and have even had lessons with the Amyrlin Seat’s own Warder. He won’t say it but I know he thinks I have great potential.

Do not fear, though. I have not forgotten the things you taught me. The skills of our people are coming in most useful. I have even met someone special, another trainee. His name is Jebol and we have so much in common. He is sweet and special. I think we could go far together. I, of course, have not told him how I feel. I remember, best to let him come to me.

I do not know what my future holds but I do know I want you to be a part of it. Please forgive me. I love you.

Your daughter always,

Amelie

Chalinda sealed the letter and addressed it. She then stared at it a long time before going to have it sent. Once she had done that, she went back to her room and sat on the bed with tears in her eyes. She finally felt like her old self again, like Amelie Gere daughter of Freya Gere, Domani merchant and Simon Gere, Domani General. She was fierce and proud, passionate and fun loving.

As darkness set across Tar Valon Amelie Gere, fresh new manshima drifted to sleep with thoughts of home. She did not light candles or torchieres. Her heart did not race. She did not search the shadows for what might be hiding in them. She simply closed her eyes and slept in peace, no nightmares plaguing her. Just sleep.