More than two years ago a guard had grabbed him by the arm and given him a choice; imprisonment or service. He’d chosen the latter. So the agreement had been made. He would serve his time in the training program of the White Tower. He would serve until he was raised Manshima; what he did after that was his own business. He would be free to go then, or stay as he chose, and for so long a time he’d clung to that goal, that hope of freedom.

Now the pin rested firmly on his collar and like any other newly raised trainee, he’d dutifully moved his things to the new barracks. But standing there with everything in its place he still wasn’t sure why he’d done it. It wasn’t that he was itching to leave, that now that he had his freedom he intended to run from the city and never return… but staying didn’t really appeal to him either. He still had no desire to be bonded by an Aes Sedai and training simply for the sake of training did not hold the appeal it once had. He was trapped between a life he didn’t want to go back to and the one that offered him no future he wanted.

Thas sighed and headed for the door. He needed air.

It was after sunset, only the faintest light lingering in the sky. Thas headed out from the Tower, hoping that wandering the streets of the city might clear his head. For two years he’d only watched Tar Valon from his perch atop one of the walls. It was strange now to be able to come and go freely, the guards no longer stopping him if he tried to pass the gates. It was strange how much power a little piece of metal on his collar had.

Maybe he would go see Helitas, no doubt the man would have some words of wisdom for him, biased as they might be. Perhaps talking to the guardsman again would give him some perspective on all of this. Helitas had sent him here so he could do something with his life. What was he supposed to do? He’d learned a great many things at the Tower. Things that had once meant nothing to him he now held closer that he could have imagined possible. He had a family for the first time in his life and yet… even with all that he could not see what the future held for him. At least on the streets he’d known he had none, now it was simply a series of dark paths, none of which he recognised.

He could stay at the Tower and complete his training. There were still unbonded warders among his instructors, so there was nothing to say he had to be bonded by an Aes Sedai. Helitas had never been bonded and he had a decent life. Certainly it would be nice to stay with the people he knew, the people he cared about, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that there was no purpose in it. If his purpose was simply to stay, that did not strike him as much of a life. He could seek employment as a hired blade. Some of the men who came to the Tower had done that in the past, so there was no reason he couldn’t do it now. He would never be able to tolerate being a bodyguard to some snooty Lord, but perhaps merchant trains would suit him. He’d certainly get to see more of the world that way and it would put his skills to good use. It would probably take him far from the Tower though, far away from…

It was an uncomfortable issue, one he’d chosen not to think about. There was one thing that stood out above the others, one thing that held him to Tar Valon stronger than anything else. The people who were important to him like Adolphus, Shalis and Lacy; he could come back and visit them no matter where he went. He hadn’t seen them at various points in his training for one reason or another, so he imagined taking a year or two to travel with the caravans wouldn’t be so hard. But Tim was different. And that was truly the hardest question of all. Freedom from the Tower granted him freedom from restrictions and rules. He would be free to spend his time as he wished, with who he wished. He had no doubt that Tim would willingly support him, regardless of how much he was able to provide for himself, but his prospects in Tar Valon were few. It was unlikely he’d be able to create much of a life here for himself without the Tower. But if his road took him away from Tar Valon what would happen between him and Tim? Could a relationship survive over such a distance? Certainly with the marvel of gateways they could still see each other, but that would require Tim knowing where he was and when to come. It was not a promising future and Thas was not ready to face the real question. If it came down to it, could he walk away?

After nearly an hour of walking, the streets of Tar Valon had given him no more answers than he had when he began. His mind was still a mess of questions and uncertainties, the most important of which being; just because he could stay, didn’t mean that he should. So Thas turned back to head for his new bed. Normally his path might have taken him to the Inn but he didn’t want to risk running into Tim. He couldn’t handle that added emotional confusion right now.

As he turned he noticed a movement of the shadows that slunk through the alleys. Pausing he found that he could hear noise, muffled slightly, the sound of hard impacts and whispered cries. “Hey!” he called out and the shadows started, vanishing quickly down the other side. One remained, though it lay against the ground, very still. Thas approached slowly, pulling out the stone that he kept in his pouch. It glowed brightly, illuminating the figure.

It was a woman, probably ten or fifteen years older than himself. She was breathing shakily and flinched when he knelt down next to her. He could already see the bruises forming on her face and arms. “Easy,” he whispered. “I’m not going to hurt you. I’m from the Tower.” Gently he gathered the woman into his arms, grateful that she was no larger than he. His strength may have improved, but carrying another person was still taxing on his muscles. More importantly though was to get her somewhere safe. From the look of it, she’d been attacked by a group, and while he could probably handle them on his own, he wasn’t sure if he could do it while watching out for her safety as well. Best to get her inside and then send for help and Helitas’ office was not far off.

The guardsman jumped when the door slammed open, though with a body in his arms Thas wasn’t sure he could’ve opened it any gentler. True to his training the man assessed the situation immediately and led Thas into the back room where he could lay the woman down. At some point along the trip she’d lost consciousness, but she was still breathing and that was something. Others took over from there, a young man checking her gently and mixing up powders Thas didn’t recognise. Helitas sent a runner to the Tower and then led him back into the outer office.

“It was good of you to bring her here. So far she’s the fifth victim and only the second to make it out alive,” he said, sitting down at his desk with a sigh.

Thas gaped at him. “You’re not serious. Who’s doing it? Why?”

The man raised his eyes for a moment. They were thoughtful as if he was considering something. Thas saw them flick for a moment to the pin at his collar, noting though that the man made no comment about his raising. “An old companion of yours, Cair, has a small gang of boys. They’ve taken to doing more than pick pocketing, though. They take everything a person’s got, gold to copper, jewellery, everything. And if they don’t have enough, they beat out the rest of their frustration. At least that’s what the man who was assaulted last week told us.” The guardsman sighed. “Three weeks now and we haven’t been able to catch them. All the offices have stepped up patrols and we’ve issued warnings to the population to stay off the streets at night. But they’re gone before we ever seen them and no one knows where they’re hiding.”

If Thas had still been in the office, he would’ve seen Helitas raise his eyes in hope and heard the first words asking for help. But Thas was gone, out the door without so much as a sound and vanished into the night before the guardsman could see where he’d gone. The guards might not know where Cair was, but Thas did.

It was the one place Helitas had never been able to find. The building seemed to be an old abandoned warehouse. The reason the boys chose it was because of the fake wall. If someone actually measured the building they’d find the inside was smaller than the outside. There was a second space in the back, accessible only through a single window and stairs on the upper level. It wasn’t the easiest place to get in and out of, but it kept them hidden. If Cair had a group of boys hiding anywhere, it would be there.

The building seemed older than he remembered it, more dirty and decrepit. Thas checked the streets to make sure no one was watching and then ducked down the alley to the back of the building. Much to his dismay there was no rope hanging down, which meant all of Cair’s crew were inside. He ran his eyes over the old stone work, searching for the cracks. If he could climb the Tower walls, he could manage this.

After a moment he took a deep breath, dug his fingers in and began the treacherous climb. More than once part of the building came off in his hand, sending chips and mortar falling down behind him. His balance was perilous at those moments, held in check only by his other hand. He moved slowly, almost painfully slow, as if afraid he might bring down the entire building with his next grip. After what seemed a painful eternity, he wrapped a firm hand around the window ledge and hauled himself up. Lucky for him, there had never been any glass in the window to warrant closing it.

Thas dropped silently to the floor and slipped along it, remembering instinctively where all the bad creaks were. The stairs were not three paces from the window, but the floor was old enough to wake an old man three streets away. Thas moved silently as if not even there. He hesitated at the top of the stairs, listing to the muffled din of voices below. It was hard to say how many people were below, but he guessed it was probably a dozen. Now that he was perched on the edge, he hesitated wondering exactly what he hoped to accomplish by coming here.

It was safe to say that even with his training, against 12 boys his own age he didn’t stand a chance. If it was revenge he was seeking he wasn’t going to get it by charging in and trying to beat the lot of them up. Revenge? Revenge for what? In his mind floated the image of the woman, beaten for nothing more than her possessions. In all the time he’d run with Cair, they’d done some nasty and stupid stuff. They’d stole from all sorts of people who deserved it and many that didn’t. But they had never hurt anybody… well Thas had once, and it was something he’d come to regret and had sworn he would not do again. This wasn’t about revenge though; it was about justice.

Standing up straight Thas stomped his foot at the top twice, once and then twice more. The din stopped immediately. It was an old signal. Maybe Cair didn’t use the same one, but since everyone was supposed to be inside it had certainly gotten their attention. He stared down the stairs, slowly, confidently, as if he owned the building. It was a dangerous thing to do, particularly without bending down to keep an eye out. They could take out his legs before he had a chance. But he was relying on their curiosity to see him down the stairs.

As his head dropped below floor level Thas scanned the room. There were old crates around the outside as there had always been. Some had been hauled out to sit on, but there was a central area cleared. The group was sitting in various places, every head being turned in his direction. One boy, with dark hair, marked by traces of red stood up, a menacing grin forming on his face.

“Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in. Thas my old friend, did the Tower finally spit your sorry arse back up into our pathetic ranks?” He sneered. “Or did you just come here to show off your new hair cut?”

Thas didn’t increase his speed, keeping it at a measured pace. Fear. It was all about the fear, he reminded himself. Fear of what he could do, fear of what he might do. His actual capabilities didn’t matter; it was all about the threat in their minds. So long as they feared he could do it, then he didn’t have to. The key was confidence; so long as he didn’t show anything else, he would remain in control.

As he reached the bottom of the stairs Thas became aware that there was no place in the room he could stand such that he could see all of them at once, short of putting his back into a corner. There was nothing he could do about it now, so he continued his walk directly towards Cair, into the center of the group.

“I heard that you had yourself a new pack,” he said casually scanning their faces. “Does beating people to a bloody pulp pay good money nowadays?”

Cair laughed. “Taught you how to speak did they? As I recall you couldn’t find a sentence in broad daylight with both hands and a lantern.” The pack laughed. And Cair advanced on him. “Came here to stop me, did you Thas? In your fancy Tower uniform. Did they buy those clothes for you? Do you like your food and your bed? Does some Aes Sedai give you a cookie when you do well?” The pack roared and Cair stopped a bare inch from his face and sneered. “You ain’t one of us anymore, Thas. And I’ve half a mind to do to the great Amethas Teltaryn what I done to every other person who turned their back on me.” He turned away and started walking around Thas, out of his line of sight, but Thas could still hear his foot steps. “But I’ll tell you what. Since you didn’t bring Ol’ Ugly here, I’ll give you a chance for old time’s sake. Just you and me, the boys won’t get involved. If I can pound that traitorous face of yours into a pulp, I win and you die.”

Thas frowned looking slightly back over his shoulder to watch Cair come back around to the front. “And if I win you and your pack stop beating people up.”

Cair sneered at him. “Fists only, then. I ain’t looking to get cut up by that fancy piece of metal. You wanna fight, it’s gonna be on my terms, by my rules.” Cair held out a hand, knowing full well that Thas wouldn’t shake it.

Unfortunately somethings hadn’t changed and it was one line Thas couldn’t bring himself to cross. Few people he trusted enough, and Cair was not and had never been one of them. He folded his arms. “Deal.”

The next thing Thas knew he was falling to his hands and knees, his head ringing like a bell. It took a moment for his eyes to focus and his memory to kick in. His temple ached from the blow and he wasn’t sure he could even stand again. A single shadow on the floor pulled him back to his senses again. Instinctively his hand went to the blade at his hip. Thas pushed off and turned himself over onto one knee, the sword coming up in a smooth arch.

The blade caught the metal pipe not an inch from his head. And Cair sneered at him. His arm shook with the force of the attack and his head was still fuzzy from the impact. He didn’t have the strength to get to his feet and hold it off. He would have to hope for Cair to attack again, and that the others wouldn’t join in on the fight.

“You are such a predictable fool, Thas. This almost isn’t even a challenge. I was hoping I’d get a chance to mess you up after you went and got busted on us, but I never imagined you’d walk right in here, like it was your business and just let me do it.” He smiled, raising the pipe again. “You got no idea how much I’m gonna enjoy this.”

It was all the time Thas needed.

As the pipe came down Thas rolled out of the way and on to his feet. He stumbled a few paces, trying to keep his balance as he straightened. He was still dizzy and disoriented from the blow, but at least now he was standing… more or less. He held the sword in both hands to steady it, keeping it between him and Cair. The other man snarled at him lifting the pipe from where it had hit the floor. It would have been a lie to say that the dent in the ground didn’t scare Thas; it bloody terrified him.

The shouts of the other boys roared in his ears, shaking his concentration, but thankfully shouting was all they did. There was enough ego and confidence in the air that no one considered him a real threat, at least not with the blow he’d taken. Ironically it had probably saved his life. If he’d been more wary, on top of things, they might have swarmed him and that would’ve been the end. Though as it was, he still had to get out of here in one piece.

Cair growled at him through grinning teeth, shifting his grip on the pipe as he circled his opponent. His footwork was crude and predatorial and he held the pipe like its only reason for existing was to bash someone’s head in. Ordinarily it would have been no problem to disarm him, but Thas backed away cautiously. He had to be careful now; he might only get one chance, before…

The attack came hard and fast, the pipe slamming down against Thas’ upraised sword. The impact sent a shudder through his arms. Thas shoved up, forcing the pipe away. He swung the sword then, aiming to land it against Cair’s throat, but the pipe came back to quickly, blocking the attack solid. Cair beat his sword down, bringing the pipe back up toward Thas’ face. He ducked to the side, but the end of the pipe caught his jaw sending him stumbling again. Cair’s grin widened and he advanced mercilessly.

“You just don’t get it, do you, Thas?” The swipe came hard and fast and Thas stumbled out of the way. “All your pathetic training means nothing in the end. You’re trying to be something you ain’t. Abandoning your pack to be kept by the Aes Sedai like some little pet? It’s offensive, degrading. You ain’t one of them, Thas and you ain’t never gonna be. You’re a disgrace to everything we believe in, Thas, everything a street runner stands for and I’m gonna make sure that no one ever forgets what happens to people like you.”

The attack came from the left, as if he meant to knock Thas’ head right off his shoulders. But it wasn’t enough. Cair’s contemptuous words had ignited something inside of the smaller man; the white anger he kept tight control over was loose. Far too often in his time at the Tower had Thas heard those words spoken as him, by lordlings too obsessed with themselves to know any different. Too often had people talked down to him, and at one point in his life it had almost destroyed everything he’d worked for, but not again. He would not be degraded by Cair after he had spent more than two years trying to make something better of himself. He would not be looked down upon by a man who thought it was funny to offer a fair fight with a weapon behind his back. He would not stand there and let a man, who beat people because they didn’t have what he considered enough money, tell him that he was a disgrace.

Thas blade came up hard and fast, slamming the pipe aside. He grabbed it then with his left hand, wrenching it right out of Cair’s grasp. Then he raised his sword back over his own shoulder and smashed the hilt into the man’s nose. It was all over in a matter of seconds, Cair lying flat on his back, blood running from his broken nose. Thas loomed over him holding the sword point at his throat, heaving air into his lungs. Not a soul moved around him.

“You’re the disgrace!” he screamed. “We did what we had to, to survive! No matter how bad it was, we survived, because that’s who we are! But there are things you don’t do! You fight, you steal but you don’t hurt people!” The sword shook in his hands with his anger. He remembered the cold, the pain, the frustration, the hunger. He would always remember what it had been like, but no matter what had happened, no matter what the world had done to them, they had not raised a hand against someone else. He had done it once out of sheer desperation, but never, never as sport. “You don’t hurt people,” he said again, softer, the pain and anguish leaking into his voice.

The deafening silent was shattered by the guards’ entrance. Within an instant a flood of uniformed men came galloping down the stairs. The shock of Cair’s defeat and Thas’ words, were enough to hold the boys’ attention until it was too late. Swords drawn and restraints in hand, there were shouts of objection and names called, but no one fought back; there was no chance of escape.

Cair wiped the blood from his face as he was pulled to his feet. “So you betrayed us anyway. I should’ve killed you the moment you set foot in here.”

Thas felt a hand on his shoulder holding him back from replying, and another pulling the pipe from his hand. “He didn’t turn you in,” said a familiar voice. “We tracked him, not an easy task, I’ll admit.” Helitas led Thas away as the other guards restrained and grouped the boys together to be taken to cells until the matter could be investigated further. The guardsman smiled. “You know, I’ve half a mind to smash your head for pulling a stupid stunt like that. Though it looks like Cair did that for me.”

Thas just nodded, leaning against Helitas for support. His anger seemed to seep away with the chaos around him and the room had become fuzzy and started to spin again. He felt strong arms lead him up the stairs and then the man actually picked him up to carry him down the ladder outside. It wasn’t as though he was in a position to fight, so Thas just bore it as best he could. He almost lost his footing when Helitas put him down, but the guardsman was there to steady him once more.

“There’s an Aes Sedai back at the office. Let’s get you over there before you fall over. That’s a nasty blow from the look of it.”

Thas laughed softly and found his head hurt when he did. “Yeah, but now Cair’s gotta nose to match yours, Ugly.”

Helitas laughed. “That is does.”

Before too long they were sitting in his office again, Thas with scraps of a meal in front of him and a cup of hot tea in his hands. The Healing had taken him harder than usual, and he still felt more than a little weak. The tea helped though, calming his nerves. The whole incident had left him feeling more confused than ever. For all his indecisiveness about his future, he hadn’t expected to be confronted with his past so soon.

“Pretty busy day for you,” Helitas said after putting the dirty dish aside. “Not raised a full day and already you’re saving ladies in distress.”

Thas laughed softly and took a sip of his tea.

“Have you decided?” the man asked, leaning back in his chair. He didn’t need to say more than that; they both knew what he meant.

Thas shook his head and sighed. “It just doesn’t make any sense, y’know? I like it, I really do. It’s one of the best things that’s ever happened to me, but…”

“But?”

He looked up setting the cup aside. “I don’t know if this is what I want. I mean just the idea of being bonded to an Aes Sedai still sends shivers through me. I know I don’t have to be bonded, you never were, but I don’t know if just training is enough. I had a goal before and now that I’m here… I just don’t know…”

The guardsman smiled and opened his desk. “That woman, you saved, she was a Lady from Andor, very distant cousin of the Trakand family, she claimed. She asked me to thank you and to give you this.” He set a long chain with a heavy medallion on the desk. It was marked with a single rose and a crescent moon. “She said if you’re ever in Caemlyn and need anything, you need only show that to the right people.” He closed the drawer and leaned back again. “Do you know why I picked the Tower, instead of forcing you to apprentice somewhere?”

Thas shook his head, but allowed himself a smirk. “’Cause you knew they could beat me into bathing?”

The man laughed and shook his head. “No, though that was a good cause in itself. I sent you there because I wanted to help you understand why I do what I do. Contrary to Adolphus’ opinion, I didn’t stay unbonded because no Aes Sedai would have me. It was a choice; my choice. There’s no greater pride or enjoyment in my life than knowing I have the ability and the will to protect someone. And while some men choose to devote that to a single woman, an Aes Sedai, I chose to devote myself to protecting this city, and that is not something I regret. I didn’t know if the Tower would be able to teach you that in so short a time.”

Thas shook his head. “I don’t understand. Teach me what?”

Helitas smiled, thoughtfully, much the way he had two years ago when Thas demanded to know what he was going to learn at the Tower. “Why did you go after Cair?”

Thas frowned. “Because he had no business beating people like that. We’re thieves, not murderers. But that wasn’t anything more than me being stupid again. All I did was beat a former friend to the ground because he made me angry. I was stupid enough to get myself into a situation where he would kill me if I didn’t. I just ended up saving my own skin, which is all I’ve ever been good at. It was a stupid attempt as some kind of self-proclaimed justice. Where’s the lesson in that?”

Helitas folded his hand across his chest, still smiling. “I don’t think you went there to punish Cair, I think you went there to stop him. Nothing more; nothing less. It didn’t matter if you were the only one in the room; you were protecting somebody, Thas. You were protecting the five who fell victim to his attacks and everyone like them that would have come afterwards. You were protecting her, whether you realised it or not. That’s why she left this for you. Not just because you rescued her from near death, but because you stepped up and decided that no one else was going to suffer like that again. That is what it means to be Ashandarei; that is what I wanted you to learn. There is no greater victory than that which is won for someone who could not win it for themselves. It is something that most boys who come from where you did could never hope to understand, but I knew almost from the moment I met you that you were different. That was why I sent you to the Tower, even though the Master of Arms thought I was crazy to do so. The Wheel weaves as it wills and sometimes threads in the Pattern do not always lie as straight as most people see them. Whether you stay at the Tower or not, that is your decision now, not mine. Whatever you decide, you have my blessing.” The guardsman straightened in his chair a smile spreading on his lips. “I could not be prouder of you and how far you’ve come.”

Thas smiled softly, picking up the medallion. He ran a finger over the detail work. It seemed a silly thing, leaving him such a gift after he’d done possibly the stupidest and most dangerous thing imaginable. It felt good though, knowing that she was safe, that he helped make it that way. Helitas was right. It felt damned good. After a moment he looked up a wry grin on his face. “Y’know, I’m a wanted man in Caemlyn.”

Heliast laughed. “Well then, you just might need that favour someday.” Still chuckling he reached into his purse and tossed three gold crowns on the desk. “Tonight I want you to go straight back to your bunk and sleep off that Healing. And then tomorrow I want you to take that gold, grab yourself a friend or two and have some good food and good drink on me. Just promise me; if you’re going to leave that you’ll come say goodbye first.”

Thas smiled, looping the medallion over his neck and tucking the coins away in his pocket. “Don’t worry,” he said, intentionally letting his accent slip. “Y’ain’ gonna ge’ ri’ o’ m’ tha’ eas’ly.”