The door flew open and Alex nearly jumped out of her skin as she leapt from her chair. Upon seeing Lacy Sedai, she dropped into a deep curtsy. She didn’t know what this was all about so late at night, but Alex was sure that she hadn’t done anything this time to get into enough trouble to bring the Mistress of Novices to her room. Or had she? Light, she never knew what some Aes Sedai would take offence at and what others wouldn’t.

“Follow me,” is all Lacy Sedai said as she turned and led Alex out of the room. No one was around this time of night. It was past time for everyone to be in their beds resting before tomorrow’s lessons and chores. The Aes Sedai led her through unfamiliar corridors and down deeper into the Tower than the Novice had ever been. Was this…? Oh, Light! Was she really ready for this? She knew she wasn’t supposed to question the Sisters, but this… No, she was ready! She would be Accepted before the morning came.

The pair finally reached two amazingly large doors that seemed to open by themselves, then they entered the chamber with the three arches in the middle. Like all Novices, Alex had been told over and over about this. It was some ritual that had been used time and time again to bring Novices to Acceptance. She had to go with the ritual with little hesitation. No one ever said to her what exactly happened when you passed through the arches.

Three Aes Sedai sat around the arches wrapped in their shawls, a White, a Yellow, and a Blue. Alex wondered how they decided which Ajahs would channel into the arches. There were three more Aes Sedai holding cups. Lacy Sedai spoke to Alex, “You may choose not to enter the arches at this time. You will then have two more chances to go through. If you refuse the third time, you will be put out of the Tower with enough silver to last you one year.”

Alex nodded her head. “I will continue, Aes Sedai.”

“Good,” Lacy replied. “Now I will tell you two more things no one hears until she stands where you are. Once the test begins and you step through the first arch, you must continue until you step out of the third arch, or you will be sent out of the Tower just as if you had refused to enter the arches three times. The other is this. To seek, to strive, is to know danger. Some women have entered the arches and were never seen again. When the arches had quieted they simply were – not – there.” The ominous pause hung heavily in the Air, almost feeling tangible to the Novice.

“This is your last chance. If you refuse now, it will count as your first attempt and you will be given two more chances to come here. If you choose to go on, there will be no turning back until you step out of the third arch or are lost within the arches. There is no shame in refusing. Many Aes Sedai could not face the arches the first time they were brought here. Choose.”

Alex felt like the whole world was on her shoulders at this very moment. It sounded so hard and yet so… promising. She would be an Accepted and that much closer to being able to Heal once she made it through the arches. Yes, she would survive this. Nothing was going to break her determination. “I accept, Aes Sedai.”

“Good,” the Mistress of Novices replied again and waited expectantly. Oh, it was time for that. Alex began unbuttoning her dress. Once it was off, she folded it carefully and laid it on the ground, leaving the pouches. Luckily, she had left the pouches containing the two rings and the two stones, wrapped in their embroidered cloths, on the table next to her bed. Next came the shoes and the rest of her clothing. She stood their shivering as she waited for the next step to begin. Her toes wanted to curl away from the cold of the floor.

In a formal voice, one of the other Aes Sedai asked, “Who do you bring with you, Sister?”

Lacy replied, “One who comes as a candidate for Acceptance, Sister.”

“Is she ready?”

“She is prepared to leave behind who she was, and passing through her fears, gain Acceptance.”

“Does she know her fears?”

“She has never faced them, but now she is ready.”

“Then let her face them now,” the other Aes Sedai finished.

Lacy Sedai turned back to Alex. “The first time is for what was. The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.”

Alex took a deep breath and stepped through the first arch, the light engulfing her.

* * *

Alexandra smiled as she finished braiding her hair. This new dress was beautiful, if she did say so herself. She hadn’t had a chance to wear it since finishing the last of the embroidery, but having a gleeman at the inn was as good a reason as any to show off her work. Her mother would greatly appreciate her being able to draw in more orders. That’s how it normally worked. The two would work together making the dresses, and then Alex would wear them where people could see them and the new orders would come tumbling in. The village may have been small, but everyone still loved to find a reason to dress nice occasionally. The plain brown wool dresses that most people wore to work grew boring after a while. They needed some color! Unfortunately, Alex couldn’t convince any of the women, and definitely not that the men, that just a little embroidery around the collars would help.

She finished her hair and smoothed out her dress one last time before stepping out of her room. Her parents were gone for the evening taking care of some business or the other with the innkeeper. Maybe her mother would come back with more work for them. Master Byron liked to keep a nice stock of clean aprons on hand for his daughters to wear in the inn. He also ordered more clothing for his rather large family than anyone else in the village.

Her parents would not be at all pleased if they new where she was going. As she stepped out of the house and down the street, she remembered having met the man she was going to see just a few days ago…

Alex had stepped out of her house with her mother and father. They walked down the road to the inn and found a table near the place the gleeman would be playing. Alex loved to sing and wondered if she would learn any new songs from this man. Master Byron rushed up to them with the usual drinks. Alex and her mother had tea while her father drank a mug of ale.

The man in front of them was rather tall with black hair and a strange black beard. His cloak was patched in the way of his trade. He stepped onto the raised section of the floor and announced the first song he would be singing. Master Byron told the trio that the gleeman’s name was Parlatheon and that he had said he was from Illian. Alex nodded to herself. All she knew about Illian was that it lay in the south. She had been told that southlanders were strange, but there was something that drew her to this man. Maybe it was just that he was a musician.

Later, it could be said that the evening had been going well, and the food and drink served had been especially good. The gleeman had been playing for a while and had stopped to take a drink. How come Alex couldn't remember a single thing the man had sung? When he returned to the "stage" he asked the audience, "Are there any requests?" Alex asked him if he knew a particular song. When he didn't, she hummed a few bars, and Parlatheon picked it up right away on his harp. He was good and quick. There was even a song that Alex sang while he played. The other villagers were used to her singing, but she had never sung for a professional musician before.

There he was. Parlatheon Norvara was waiting for her on the other side of the inn just like he had promised. Alexandra slipped between the buildings where they wouldn't be seen and hugged him tightly under the moonlight. It was a beautiful night with the moon shining full and bright and the stars twinkling merrily in the sky, the perfect night for the perfect meeting. He smiled gently at her and lifted her chin for a kiss. They had really hit it off very well and very quickly.

The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.

That was strange. She had never heard that before; yet the thought was in her mind as if it were something of great importance. Alex shrugged it off and, before much longer, was lost in her secret meeting again.

A loud roar as if from a thousand guttural voices filled the air. The sounds weapons and people starting scream followed soon after. Parlatheon and Alexandra jerked apart and ran to the edge of the tiny alley to see what was going on. Par had to pull Alex back suddenly as something rushed by, barely missing her. When she looked, it had been an arrow.

Turning in fright, Alex saw horribly grotesque creatures descending on her tiny village. Trollocs! her mind screamed. She had never seen any before this night, but she knew the stories. The monsters didn't normally make it this far south before the soldier eliminated them. Her brother had been one of those soldiers when he died from a trolloc arrow.

"Children! You must run! Gleeman, take her with you and protect her." It was an order from a familiar face. It was Mistress Redda attempting to send them away to safety. The woman looked strange tonight but Alex couldn't quite put her finger on what the difference was. The medicine woman was probably just unsettled and frightened by the sudden appearance of so many Shadowspawn.

Alex grabbed Par's hand and took off away from the alley. He followed her since she knew more about the area than he did. She headed for the south end of town and stopped dead in her tracks. There was a mass of trollocs in that direction blocking the exit. She turned and there were more to the north. The monstrosities seemed to be pouring in and out of the buildings on either side of them, burning everything in their path. The bloodbath would have left Alex emptying her stomach if she was not so scared for herself ad Par.

The arrow came out of nowhere and struck him in the chest. Par screamed out in the sudden pain before he fell. Alex immediately turned and caught him as best she could to ease his fall. She shouted out his name as she held him. The arrow stuck up at an angle.

The way back will come but once.

"Noooo!" she cried out as much for the voice as for Par being struck down. She couldn't lose this man now that she finally had him. Somehow she knew the moment she had seen him that she was to be with him. She couldn't leave him like this without giving everything in her power to save him from the same fate her brother Rhodas had suffered. The arrow would be hard to remove, and she couldn't really do that here. She broke it off so that it wasn't sticking up so high. Par grunted as he looked up in her eyes, his own slightly glazed with the pain of the wound. Something filled her, something she recognized and didn't know at the same time. Saidar, her mind told her.

The trollocs were bearing down on the pair of would-be lovers as the silver archway appeared before her. Alex couldn't leave him. She couldn't!

Be steadfast.

girl found herself sobbing loudly. She didn't know what to do with this seemingly newfound power within her though she knew it was the only thing that would be able to help Parlatheon. The trollocs were closer and would soon block her way to the archway. Standing up shakily, she said to the gleeman, "I will return with help," and she rushed through the archway and was surrounded by light.

* * *

Alex stepped out of the arch, tears streaming down her face. Light, why couldn’t she have helped Par? She looked around and realized where she was. That couldn’t have been the real world. Alex knew that her gleeman was sleeping soundly in the barracks or training hard with Tevolan. They had not even met until she had come to the White Tower.

She shivered as cold water was poured over her head from one of the cups. “You are washed clean of any sin you may have done, and of those done against you,” intoned the Aes Sedai, Alex wasn’t paying much attention to who it was. “You are washed clean of what crime you have committed, and of those committed against you. You come to us washed clean and pure, in heart and soul.”

Turning as she wiped the tears and water from her face, she found herself looking at the second arch. Oh, what would she face in there? She couldn’t give up, not now. If nothing else, the first arch had reminded her of exactly why she needed to learn to Heal. It’s the only thing that could bring someone back from the brink of death, and she was determined to learn it! “The second arch is fro what is. The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.” Alex stepped through the archway and into the light.

* * *

Alexandra looked around her frantically. She had to get away from here before they found her. The Red Ajah had been infiltrated by the Black, and they were coming for the young girl. It hadn’t been the first time someone posing as a Red had tried to kidnap the Novice. That woman had succeeded. Alex did not intend for it to happen again.

She ran through the streets not recognizing any landmarks. Where was she? She hadn’t been out of the Tower since that time with the Dreadlord. Looking behind her, she saw the White Tower looming in the distance. Alex was still in Tar Valon. Where was she to go from here? The Tower, which had become her home, was no longer safe for her. The city definitely couldn’t be counted on for refuge. She darted into an alleyway to catch her breath.

“There you are,” came a lowered male voice. Alex nearly jumped out of her skin. Before she could escape in the opposite direction, a hand reached out and grabbed her arm. “It’s alright. I’m going to help you.” Alex turned around to stare in fright at the owner of the seemingly familiar voice. It was Catthou. He had been with her and another Novice, Kieran, when the first kidnapping had occurred.

The boy had grabbed her with his right hand. His left arm still hung at his side, not quite useless but close to it. She still felt guilty over not having been able to help him. By the time they had reached anyone who might have been able to give him the aid he needed, the wound was already too old and beyond repair.

“How can you help me? They’ll find us if we stop for too long,” she said in a hurry, albeit quietly.

Catthou kept her firm grasp on her arm. “Come with me. I know a way out of here. They won’t follow us.” He turned and half-dragged her with him. Alex continued without any resistance. What did she have to lose? Surely she could trust one of the few people who knew what all had happened, someone who had shared the experience.

Now at a full run, the pair made their way through the alley. It was so dark that she couldn’t see a thing. Maybe he was holding saidin in order to see where they were going. Alex had to trust his judgment. It would have been nice to hold the Source. It not only enhanced her senses, but it gave her a sense of comfort. To embrace would be to light a signal for the Sisters to follow, not that they wouldn’t sense her ability if she were near them anyway.

They finally skidded to a halt at the end of the passageway. It was a wall, a dead end. Alex thought she might panic. “This way!” Catthou ordered. She followed the Soldier through a door she had not seen before.

The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.

Strange that she would think of something like that at such an apparently crucial time. The thought felt like it was something important. Did it mean that she had only one chance to get away from her would-be captors? She held on to the thought for only a couple of seconds. It had given her hope that the this trial would soon be over.

Alex looked around as she entered the doorway. Catthou had led her into another dark passageway. She could see light in the distance and sped up a little. He came to a stop in front of her, forcing her to halt as well. “Stay close,” he said as he suited actions to words by pulling her to him. She really had no idea what was going on. They stepped slowly forward into a small room. He led her to one end. The light she had thought she had seen in the distance was no longer there. Had it just been her imagination?

She found herself in a corner with the boy one moment before feeling saidar being used. She turned around and was nearly blinded by the light that had formed above the Aes Sedai’s hand. When her eyes finally adjusted to the light, she saw that Kareena Sedai had an evil smirk on her face as she watched the frightened girl. Alex found she couldn’t embrace the Source. It wasn't a shield keeping her from doing it; it was her own emotions barring her from the True Source. Alex had thought the bloody block had been broken? Why did it have to reappear the moment she really needed to touch the Source?

“You have done well, my boy,” came the harsh voice that didn’t seem to go with the beautiful ageless face of the woman before them. Kareena stood tall in her Domani cut blood red gown. Her copper skin seemed to shimmer in the light of her weave. Well, placed diamond pins glistened in her dark hair. Her voice would have done credit to a… to a trolloc! The look on Catthou’s face was like a dog that had just been patted on the head. If he had had a tails, Alex was sure she would have seen it wagging happily. How could he do this? She wanted to scream.

The way back will come but once.

She had heard that already! Where was this way? Why had he betrayed her? There were so many questions running through her mind, and there were no answers to be found. That was when she saw the silver archway appear nearby. She would have to pass the Aes Sedai in order to get to it. Probably not the easiest thing for her to accomplish, but the foolish woman seemed to think Alex was trapped well enough without having to be bound with the One Power. The Black Aes Sedai obviously hadn't been a Novice for many years if she could so easily forget the inventiveness of a girl wearing the white dress.

Kareena Sedai was cackling evilly as she wove saidar again. Understanding poured over Alexandra like a bucket of cold water. The weave wasn’t for her but for Catthou. He was somehow being manipulated. She couldn't recall having heard the word for what the Aes Sedai was doing, but she knew it was somehow illegal. Well, what else could you really expect from someone who had given her oaths to the Dark One? Alex had followed the boy to this dark place and now couldn't really do anything to defend herself. Was he going to somehow be used to harm her? How could she save him as well as herself?

Be steadfast.

She couldn’t help him now! Maybe if she got away, she could come back for him. Yes, that was what she would have to do. If she couldn't help him, she could at least help herself. That thought sickened her to her very core. Alex always put the well-being of others before her own. While the Aes Sedai was distracted, Alex started running and dove though the archway just as the look of surprise appeared over the woman’s unsuspecting face.

* * *

Alex nearly fell out of the arch, her eyes wide with fear. What had happened? Or had it happened? He was another person she had had to leave behind. A second cup of cold water was poured over her head. The words she heard were something to focus on other than what had just occurred, “You are washed clean of false pride. You are washed clean of false ambition. You come to us washed clean and pure, in heart and soul.”

“Was it real?” Alex asked as the Mistress of Novices led her to the third arch. Lacy, a knowing look in her eyes, replied quietly, “No one knows for sure. Some think it is, some think it isn’t.” They paused in front of the last archway as she said, “The third time is for what will be. The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.” For the final time, Alex went through the archway, this time at a near run.

* * *

Alex examined herself in the mirror in her room, a shawl with a white fringe wrapped around her shoulders. Wait. It was a yellow fringe. Why had she thought white? No, it was a white fringe. Hmm… She blinked and it remained white for the time being. She must have eaten something strange for breakfast to make her see things like that. Maybe the illusion had come from her struggle to choose which Ajah she wanted to join. Alex shook her head, smoothed out her pink dress, and stepped into the hall. Yes, it was the White halls. She hated wearing the shawl as if she was somehow better than everyone else, but some important business had come up, and she had to wear the thing. She couldn’t believe she had not wanted to take the thing off when she had first been raised. That seemed so long ago.

The halls were quite except for the sounds of running footsteps around the corner. She frowned. It must be a Novice. No one else would run. Sure enough, the Novice came around the hall and skidded to a halt, panting as she dropped a curtsy. “Excuse me, Aes Sedai. Jericho Sedai wants you to come to the infirmary. She says it’s urgent.”

Light! For Jericho to call her over there, it must be important! She barely managed a thank you to the poor Novice as she all but ran to get over there. There were a few strange looks at an Aes Sedai being in such a hurry, looks that she didn’t really notice.

She only slowed when she reached the doors and opened them carefully. As urgent as it might be, she had to think of the other patients as well. Many people still wondered why she had picked the White Ajah over the Yellow. There was Jericho standing by the bed, holding her warder and Alex’s adopted brother Jonathan’s hand. And Jonathan… a bandaged was wrapped around his head, around his eyes. “What happened?” she asked as she stepped quickly over to them.

“Lexi?” Jon questioned. Alex touched his shoulder.

“Yes, it’s me,” she replied as she looked at the other Sister.

Jericho stared at Alex, tears in her eyes. Whatever had happened to him, she would have felt it. “He’s blind, Alex.”

Alex couldn’t believe her eyes, but knew it had to be true. Why else would he have those bandages? “How?” is all she asked.

Jeri told the story, with a few grunted comments from Jon thrown in here and there. Shaking her head, she touched is forehead as she embraced the Source.

The way back will come but once. Be Steadfast.

Where had that come from? She didn’t understand and filed it in the back of her mind to figure out later. She Delved the man before her and cringed. How could anyone do this to another human being? Alex took her hand away as she thought.

“Can he be Healed?” Jericho asked unsteadily. She obviously didn’t believe it was possible.

“I think he can be. It won’t be easy though.”

The way back will come but once…

There was that thought again. She shook her head again. Jeri almost broke down and cried at the headshake. The Sitter had taken it to mean it wouldn’t be harder than Alexandra could manage.

Alex nodded to herself. “Yes, I think I can do it.” Still holding the Source, she places both hands on his head and began to weave.

Be steadfast.

She glanced over towards the opposite wall out of the corner of her eye and saw it. A silver arch was shining near the wall. No!!! she screamed in her head. I have to Heal him. I can’t leave him like this.

The weaves appeared in her mind in what seemed to be a perfect order. She knew she had never done this before. Or had she? It would take everything, Water and Air being the major components. Those she wove together in a sort of pattern like she used in her embroidery. She wrapped them in flows of Spirit and added streaks of Earth. Now the hard part. She just barely managed to maintain the weave as she accented it with Fire. Fire was still so difficult for her to use.

Be steadfast.

Crying out, she brought her hands away and let the complicated weave go with a loud bang. Jeri and Jon both jumped. Jeri could see what he couldn’t. “Lexi?” he called again, worry filling his voice. “What happened?”

“I’m sorry,” she exclaimed as the tears started pouring down her cheeks. She ran to the arch as the two called to her…

* * *

And she was through. She fell to her knees, her body wracked with sobs. She had left him! Left him! How could she do that? He was her brother. She had already lost one. She did not want to lose another. How could she one day call herself a Healer if she could just leave someone like that? Especially someone that meant so much to her. This arch had been so much more real than the other two.

Lacy Sedai gently took her arm and helped the poor girl to her feet. “It’s alright,” she whispered. “You’re back now.” She led the still crying Alex to where the Amyrlin Seat was, and Alex knelt before her.

The Amyrlin poured the last cup of water over Alex’s head. “You are washed clean of Alexandra Qisar of Saldaea. You are washed clean of all ties that bind you to the world. You come to us washed clean, in heart and soul. You are now Alexandra Qisar, Accepted of the White Tower.” Alex felt her slide the Great Serpent ring onto her finger and then she was drawn to her feet. “You are sealed to us now,” she said as she pulled Alex into a formal embrace and then kissed both of her cheeks. “Welcome.”

The numbness that had settled into Alex after Lacy Sedai had led her to the Amyrlin was replaced with something else as the ring slipped onto her finger. The realization had hit her. The third arch had been for what will be. Alex knew that there was some sort of truth to what she had witnessed within it. Jon would probably go blind one day, and she would have to help him. She did not know how she knew, just that she did. The weave was still in her mind. Would she ever be strong enough to do that when the time came? She would never leave him or anyone she cared about again. When they needed her, she would be right there to help them in anyway possible. She couldn’t tell anyone what she had seen in the arches, but she would remember. She would be prepared for what she felt was to come.