Alainn luxuriated in the tub, hot water sending clouds of lavender scented steam into the air around her. It had been a long day in the kitchens, followed by an even longer night scrubbing the floor of the Inn for stupidly having an Illusion contest with another Novice. This bath was sorely needed, for her back and shoulders resembled nothing so much as a gelatinous heap.

She sighed contentedly, and sank lower in the tub, running over the Illusions produced, and trying to think of a way to make them better. As she thought, she lost focus, and began to drift toward sleep. Nodding a bit, her head drooped to the side of the tub, and she took a deep breath of scented steam.

Suddenly, the door shot open with a bang, startling Alainn back into wakefulness. She glanced over and Saw Mordelaine Sedai standing framed in the doorway, with a peculiar expression on her face. Oh Light! What had she done now? She was so tired, she didn't think she could bear another penance.

Alainn reached over to the stool that sat beside the tub, and grabbed a large towel. She stood up, wrapping it around her, and curtseyed as best as she could, circumstances considered. "Good evening Mordelaine Sedai."

The Mistress of Novices smiled at her. "Good evening child. Dry yourself, and follow me. Do not bother to dress."

Alainn looked puzzled. Don't bother to dress? Go naked? What was going on here? "I mean no disrespect Aes Sedai, but where am I to go where I have no need of clothing?"

"You are to be raised tonight, child. Now hurry and dry yourself, the hour waits for no woman."

Alainn hurriedly dried herself, and wrapped a smaller towel around her hair. "I am ready Aes Sedai."

Mordelaine smiled a ghost of a smile. "Good, child. Now, follow me. Quickly."

Alainn followed her down the hall, her bare feet making no sound on the stone floor . She followed the woman deeper into the Tower than she had ever been, the floor becoming cold beneath her. Alainn shivered, but would not fall behind. She had worked for this moment since she had first come to the Tower, seven years ago.

Finally, they reached a large door, and Mordelaine paused before it. "Come, child," she said gently," it is time." She pushed open the door, and inside Alainn saw a domed room that had seemingly been carved out of the very bedrock of the island. Lamps on tall stands reflected their light from pale, smooth walls. In the exact center of the room, stood a strange construction of three silver arches, it could only be the ter'angreal she had come her to use. At each junction point, an Aes Sedai sat, waiting , embracing Saidar. A fourth stood upon a dias, near a table holing three simple silver chalices.

Mordelaine looked at Alainn, her eyes boring into the Novice." Two things I will tell you now that no woman hears until she is in this room. The first is this. Once you begin, you must continue to the end. Refuse to go on, and no matter what you're potential, you will be very kindly put out of the Tower with enough silver to support you for a year, and you will never be allowed back. Second. To seek, to strive, is to know danger, You will know danger here. Some women have entered, and never come out. When the ter'angreal was allowed to grow quiet, they-were-not-there. And they were never seen again. If you will survive, you must be steadfast. Falter, fail, and. . . . This is your last chance, child. You may turn back now, right now, and you will have only one mark against you. Twice more you will be allowed to come here, and only at the third refusal will you be put out of the Tower. It is no shame to refuse, many do. Now you may speak."

Alainn glanced at the arches, now filled with a warm glow. She wanted more than anything the freedom to set her own course of study, and to learn. She would not refuse. "I am ready, Mordelaine Sedai."

Mordelaine walked into the chamber, with Alainn close to her heels.

As if it were an unspoken command, the Green Sister on the dias spoke in a ringing voice, filled with ancient formality.

"Whom do you bring with you, Sister?"

"One who comes as a candidate for Acceptance, Sister." Mordelaine spoke the ritual phrases with assurance, as if they were words she had been born to speak.

"Is she ready?"

"She is ready to leave behind what she was, and, passing through her fears, gain Acceptance."

"Does she know her fears?"

"She has never faced them, but is now willing"

"Then let her face what she fears."

Mordelaine whispered under her breath to Alainn. "The towels girl, drop them."

Alainn blushed faintly, and did as she was told, unwrapping the towel from her hair, and unwinding the one about her body. She folded them together, and set them neatly to one side.

"The first time," Mordelaine said, "is for what was. The way back will come but once. Be steadfast."

Alainn took a deep breath, and stepped into the Light. It filled her with an aching sweetness that she was not sure she could bear.

*********************

Alainn looked up at the clouds, trying to see shapes among them, and giggled. He father's arms were strong as he held her in front of him. She was safe and secure, in no danger from the large gelding he rode. She heard a flurry of hoofbeats to their right, and looked over. Several men in gleaming white cloaks and burnished armor encircled them. She felt her father tense up behind her, and started to get frightened.

"In the name of the Light, how may I serve the Children?" Her father spoke in a stiff voice, still polite, but very brittle.

The man in the lead stared down his haughty nose at them. "You may serve us by telling us your name and destination."

Alainn's father patted Alainn to calm her, and turned his attention back to the man. "I am Taravin Cineal, and my daughter and I are bound for Andor, good Captain."

Alainn looked confused. "Daddy, I thought we were going back to Tar Valon, back to Mamma. Why are we going somewhere else?"

The man on the horse looked angry. It scared Alainn. Why was this man mad? Was it because her Father had told a fib?

"Darkfriends! Lying Darkfriends." the man thundered. He waved his men closer, and she felt rough hands tear her from the geldings back, from the safety of her father's arms, and she began to wail. A hand lashed out, and hit her in the mouth. "Quiet brat."Was the last thing she heard.

A short time later, she woke up, bound hand and foot in a empty barn. Her father was lying close by, bleeding from a cut to the forehead.

"Pappa, what happened? Why are we in here? Why did those men call us bad names?"

Her father grimaced with the pain, and tried to smile at his daughter. " Everything will be alright, my dear one. There was a misunderstanding, they will let us go soon."

The mean man came in then. He had a strange look in his eyes that Alainn didn't understand.

"Prepare to meet the Creator in the flames of redemption, Darkfriend. Perhaps the child will be spared the torment you will face." He left, chuckling to himself.

Alainn wasn't sure why, but she started to cry. The words the man used didn't make sense, but they made her even more afraid. Then the first torch was thrown into the barn, landing on a pile of dry hay, and Alainn wet herself. Alainn's father wriggled to her side, and began to gnaw at the thin cords that bound her feet. It took a while, and the fire kept growing as more torches were tossed in. Finally, he had chewed through the binding. "Stand up Alainn, and run. Run away baby, and I'll find you soon."

Alainn nodded, and looked around. She saw a glowing arch, and started towards it.

The way back will come but once.

She dove through the arch, praying for her father to follow.

*********************

Alainn stumbled out of the arch, her hands together as if still tied. Her face was smudged from tears and soot, and she trembled all over. "Oh Light," she whispered," Oh Light, it was me, I'm the reason they tried to kill us." She looked up at Mordelaine Sedai with hollow eyes full of pain. " It was my fault." she whispered again.

Mordelaine gave her a sympathetic look.

Alainn jumped as a cool stream of water flowed over her still damp hair.

The Green held an empty chalice. "You are washed clean of what sin you have done, and of those done against you. You are washed clean of what crime you may have committed, and of those committed against you. You come to us washed clean and pure, in heart and soul."

Mordelaine led her to the second arch.

"The second time is for what is. The way back will come but once. Be steadfast."

Alainn stepped into the light, not caring if it ripped her to shreds.

*********************

Alainn blinked, she was in a cell. She stood up, and went towards the barrier.

The way back will come but once.....

The hallway outside was filled with Sisters, but they were all silent. That was odd. She leaned against the barrier, and was surrounded bu ageless faces.

The crowd parted, and a woman in a striped stole came forward. Oh Light, it was the Amyrlin Seat.

The stately woman looked down at Alainn. "Child, you stand convicted of the murder of a fellow Novice, Qyntaryn Rapsarna. The sentence for this crime is stilling, and then death by hanging. The sentence is to be carried out at sunrise tomorrow."

The Amyrlin turned, and walked back down the hall.

The way back will come but once.

She spent a long sleepless night trying to figure out was happening. She didn't kill anyone. She didn't

A little before sunrise, the Grey sister returned. Alainn looked at her with frightened eyes. "Aes Sedai, please, I didn't kill anyone. I swear it. I didn't." The Aes Sedai looked at her with pity in her eyes." It is a shame to loose one with your potential, but it must be done, there are witnesses who saw it, and Qyntaryn herself named you with her dying breath."

A sickening realization came to Alainn. Peaca, it had to be, but how. Peaca was gone. Gone ! It was too much to bear. In a fit of madness, she had killed her best friend. Alainn jerked herself free of the single guardsman who held her, and ran as fast as she could up the Tower Stairs.

She reached the top of the Tower, and looked over the Tower grounds. A single tear fell from her eye as she knew what she must do. She spread her arms wide, and dove from the top of the White Tower. A shining silver arch appeared in the Air before her.

The way back will come but once. Be Steadfast.

She plunged through the arch, unsure what was awaiting her, but wishing for death.

*********************

Alainn shuddered as the water from the second chalice hit her.

"You are washed clean of false pride. You are washed clean of False ambition. You come to us washed clean, in heart and soul." The Green stepped back, and Mordelaine took Alainn's arm and led her to the final arch.

"The third time is for what will be. The way back will come but once. Be Steadfast."

Alainn whimpered as she stepped through the arch, and the light shattered her, mind and soul.

*********************

Alainn shook her head. What was she doing here, and why were all these shawls lying in the floor?

The way back will come but once....

This was a mystery, and Alainn's besetting sin was curiosity. She had to solve it.

Alainn followed the trail of shawls down a long hallway, noticing fringes belonging to every Ajah. In a large pile, she noticed the Violet stole of the Keeper, and the striped one belonging to the Amyrlin Seat. This was starting to take a sinister turn. No Sister would just drop her shawl on the floor. Alainn continued to follow the trail with a lump of dread growing in her stomach.

She rounded a corner, and saw a weeping woman, on her knees, surrounded by a group of men in black coats. What were Asha'man doing to make an Aes Sedai weep?

The leader of the group looked at her, and she recognized her long-time friend Kaiman.

"Kaiman? What is going on here? What have you done to the White Tower?"

Kaiman shook his head sadly. "It's already started, hasn't it Alainn? I wish there were another way, but there isn't. I'm sorry for this, I truly am, old friend."

Alainn lost her composure completely. "What is the meaning of this. Kaiman! Explain yourself at once!"

The tall man again shook his head. "Alainn, don't you remember? When the Bore was sealed, the Dark One struck out, and this time, he tainted Saidar. You are going mad, my friend. All female channelers are. As much as we might wish it otherwise, this must be done, for the protection of everyone."

Alainn screamed from the depths of her soul. This was wrong, this could not be happening.

An Arch appeared behind Kaiman.

The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.

Alainn scrambled for the arch, still howling like a wounded beast.

*********************

Still screaming, Alainn tumbled from the arch, to land in a hysterical, sobbing heap. "It can't be true. I won't let it be true. They won't Still us. They can't."

Mordelaine helped her to her feet.

When Alainn came back to herself, she realized that more Sisters had entered the room. Now, there were shawls from every Ajah, flanking the Amyrlin upon the dias. Alainn staggered forward, and fell to her knees. It was the Amyrlin who held the last chalice, and she who poured it over Alainn's aching head.

"You are washed clean of Alainn Cineal from Tar Valon. You are washed clean of all ties that bind you to the world. You come to us washed clean, in heart and soul. You are Alainn Cineal, Accepted of the White Tower. You are sealed to us."