The morning was going unpleasantly amiss, the petite Green had awoken feeling a bit apprehensive and with a slight headache. She could not explain why she felt apprehensive, something about the morning just seemed improper. she was not exactly nauseated but she was not feeling up to eating her usual breakfast which consisted of a few eggs, the whites only, a few thin slices of baked ham and a few wedges of fresh orange. She had managed to get the orange slices down along with a few swallows of her usual fruit juice before she pushed the plate away; fearing that if she ate more the nausea that had she had kept at bay would overcome her. That was strange in and of its self for she was rarely sick, even as a child she had not fallen ill as other children often did. Her usual morning bath was not as relaxing as it had been and she had left the tub earlier than usual feeling that perhaps she was in danger of loosing what little of her breakfast she had managed to get down. After the tub she had decided to dress but that was also not going as smoothly as she was accustomed.

Taking a deep breath, Lacy looked over her shoulder at Faei. “Are you sure you did not get my corset mixed up with someone else’s the last time you went to do the wash? They have not felt quite right lately, a bit too tight to tell the truth.” Lacy told Faei as she tried to adjust the shoulder straps that seemed to be cutting into her shoulders. The corset felt right through the waist but the thing was too tight on her chest making it hurt horribly if it was pulled to anywhere near its usual tightness. As her maid answered Lacy merely shook her head. “I don’t understand. If it is my corset why isn’t the bloody thing fitting right? I know it can’t have shrunk in just the bust while the waist stayed the perfect size. I also know that I have not gained any weight so stop looking at me that way.” As Faei nodded in agreement although there was a small smirk on her face, Lacy placed her small fingers at her temples. She had not been feeling her usual spunky self for the past few weeks and this seemed to top the chart of unusualness for the small Green. She had had enough of this bizarre week. “Just adjust it as best you can and I’ll go down and see a Yellow. Do not tighten it all the way; just enough for it to stay on. I haven’t been feeling myself the past few days and I’m going to see if I’ve caught anything from the newest of the Novices. I‘ve taught a good few of them lately and I wouldn‘t put it past some of them to have arrived with a cold or the like.” Lacy knew the Yellows could Heal about anything but death so she felt certain that after visiting the Yellow Halls and a warm breakfast she would be back to her normal self and ready for all of the mischief she normally managed.

Once the corset was adjusted as best it could be to accommodate the soreness in the petite Green’s chest, Faei helped tug one of her Mistress’s dresses on. This also seemed a bit too tight in the bust, straining a bit at some of the seams. “I promise I have not shrunken your clothes Lacy. I’ve been doing this job for well over a decade and have changed very little in my routine.” The fact that the Andoran was glowing gave the maid just a few ideas of why Lacy’s clothes were not fitting quite right but she wisely kept her silence. The fact that Lacy’s fellow Sister’s Warder was almost a constant companion at night had not escaped the Domani maid and she was sure the Yellows would have a rather stunned woman on their hands. Of course she knew once Lacy got over her surprise it would be she that would get to see her mistress’s full rage of being unable to be a true Green for the next few years. Faei had some experience with what was ailing her mistress and knew the symptoms well, even if the Green did not. She merely held her tongue behind her teeth for now knowing that soon all would be revealed and she’d rather the Yellow get the first of Lacy’s anger and surprise rather than herself.

Lacy closed the door behind her but paused to frown at it for a moment, Faei had worn a smirk the whole morning and while she had seemed oblivious Lacy had noticed it through the whole of their usual morning routine and wondered what the woman was not telling her. She knew Crag could not be back, and while having her wardrobe altered without her knowing would have been something she would not put past the man to have done, these were dresses she had owned for a few weeks and the petite Green was sure the Asha’man would have used some grander means to destroying her wardrobe. Much like the wine he had used the last time had had decided to pull a prank on her and destroy her clothing. Deciding that she had best go see a Yellow before she started feeling worse Lacy left the door that marked her room and passed the one Elizhure had taken over.

It was amazing that their rooms had been this close the whole time she had been a part of the Ajah and she had not met the woman but only a little over a month ago. So much had happened in a little over the month since the two Greens had met. Lacy was trying not to become too attached to her fellow Green as she had Aifa. Loosing another close friend would be too painful to get over. The best course was to be her usual fun but reserved self and not get too attached to any of her Sisters. Resisting the urge to stop and knock to simply say ‘Good Morning’ the petite Green continued on her path to the Infirmary where she knew at least one Yellow would be on duty.

The walk through the Tower from the Green Ajah Halls to the Infirmary was not a far walk although it was a considerably slow walk. Sisters hailed her for a word or two and a few actually wished to talk to a longer extent about the Borderlands or a certain weave they heard she could do. Making excuses to be on her way took a bit of time for she did not wish to offend any of her Sisters; though by Tower tradition she could have sent a good many on their way with a single look and not had to think a second thought about it since she was stronger in Saidar than a good many. While it was tradition and her right she had spend all of her years in the Tower trying her best to avoid that small piece of tradition as much as possible. It never hurt to be on your fellow Sisters good sides, all but those in the Red Ajah of course. The Reds could go to the Pit of Dhoom and stay there for all she cared.

As she finally arrived in the Infirmary she was sad to see that Lydia was not on duty but the young Yellow that smiled up at her seemed confident in her abilities once Lacy explained her symptoms. Letting the young Yellow, young enough not to even have the ageless look yet, lead her to one of the private rooms where Aes Sedai were taken care of and the petite Green took a seat in one of the chairs and took the tea the Yellow gave her. The girl’s young face looked very familiar and Lacy had a sneaking suspicion that she had taught the girl at one point over the past few years, perhaps it was her dance class or horseback riding. Any other than Green Aspirants rarely sought her out for Saidar lessons. Although the novices assigned to her did not count as seeking out lessons, they were more or less pushed at her. Deciding to put the thoughts out of her mind, Lacy listened to the Yellow’s questions based upon her previous statements about her symptoms and thought a few moments before answering. “I’ve been feeling a bit off the past few days. This morning I awoke without much of an appetite. My corsets no longer fit properly in the bust and many of my dresses seem to be starting to strain at the seams, which they never have before now. That makes me think perhaps some of my glands are swollen.” Lacy had no talent for Healing but she knew symptoms and the anatomy of a human well enough from her few medically inclined classes.

When the Yellow moved to take her head between her hands, Lacy merely placed the tea on the table beside her knowing that the woman would Delve her before Healing what ever it was that was ailing her. The woman seemed to be taking her time about the examination and frowned down at her before using the Delving weave on her again. Lacy waited patiently for the chilling sensation that would signal that the young Yellow had performed a weave for Healing. The petite Green waited in vain for the Yellow let go of her head and took a seat opposite of her and sipped her tea before speaking.

“I can not Heal what ails you Lacy.”

Lacy blinked which for another woman would have been an open mouthed gape. “Where is Lydia then? I know she can Heal anything short of death and she might be able to Heal that if she tried hard enough.” Lacy wasn’t sure why she had so much confidence in the woman who had once been an Accepted she let get drunk and dance on a table. However, the Yellow’s small smirk and small shake of her head caught the Green’s attention. Apparently it was something the Yellow knew even Lydia couldn’t Heal.

“Lydia will not be able to Heal you either Lacy. You are with child.”

Lacy stared at the woman, the tea she had been lifting from the table beside her forgotten until her numb fingers let the delicate flower covered cup fall to the marble floor. The shattering crash of fine Seafolk pottery brought her back to the present and she blinked for a moment before laughing. “Surely you jest. I would not have marked you as a joker, but that is not funny.” Lacy’s anger was starting to build now. “Come now where is Lydia? I want her to Heal whatever is wrong with me so I can go on about my day. I have lessons to attend to as well as other important duties.” Lacy tried to reach out with Saidar to clean up the cup and the spilled tea but the shining Light did not seem to want to embrace her today. Lacy frowned at the cup at her feet as the Yellow cleaned the mess and gave her a new cup.

The Yellow laughed softly. “Lacy I’m afraid you have finally been caught in your own little game, everyone knew it would catch you one of these days. You should tell which ever man is the father; the Light knows no one else would know who it was. Although you seem to be a little over a month along, I believe you were out of the Tower at the time of conception.”

The Yellow gave Lacy a knowing smile and Lacy wanted to slap the woman. She resisted the urge however and merely gave the woman a tight smile. “I’ll make sure the appropriate man is assessed of the situation.” Lacy said with a small frown, her grey eyes now on the full cup in her hands. The Yellow seemed to take her silence as an opportunity to tell the Green exactly what she should eat and drink over the next few months and writing down days that Lacy should visit her again.

After an hour of the Yellows company Lacy’s anger had finally exploded and she sent the Yellow into a fit of stammered apologies and running from the room. Pushing herself to her feet, Lacy made her way back to her rooms in something of a trance. She wasn’t sure how the father of the child growing within her would take the news. He was already bound to another woman and Lacy wasn’t sure she wanted to take the man from his duty. She had much to think about over the next few hours, the thought at the forefront of her mind was if she was going to tell the father or let him go on about his life. He would probably be gone in a few more weeks and would never know if she did not tell him of the situation.

The rest of the day passed in a haze for the slender Green and she soon found herself on the way to the Gholam Inn, where she had been told she could find Mirkal. Her morals had won over in the end and now she was going to tell the man all that she had found out today and see if he bolted for the Blight as so many others would do in his case.

*~*~*~*

Mirkal sat at the bar nursing his pint of ale. It had been a quiet night and a relatively stressful and miserable day. He’d forgotten how different the men of the south were from the men of the north. Embarrassment seemed to be a rite of passage here and there was nothing the young Siswai seemed to enjoy more than watching a full Gaidin make an arse out of himself. A miserable day indeed.

"Evening,” said a soft familiar voice, followed by an order for a cup of weak tea.

Mirkal looked up and smiled broadly. "Evening yourself." He could not have imagined a more perfect person to walk in at that moment. The tiny Green never failed to lift his spirits. She always had some sort of witty or sarcastic retort which fit more perfectly than anything he could come up with. Not to mention sitting with a beautiful woman always improved his mood; particularly sitting with this beautiful woman.

Her smile deepened as she sipped at her tea. "How has your day been?"

Mirkal took a drink, already feeling more relaxed. "Could've been worse. I was attempting to show a couple of trainees what incompetents they were and slipped in a mud puddle. The Blight seems more appealing all the time." He found it amusing that he look more favorably on Trollocs and Fades than on he did a bunch of young idealistic trouble makers.

Lacy laughed softly, her grey eyes lighting up slightly. He loved her eyes. "Well yes. I'm sure the Blight did seem appealing at that time." Lacy said with a slight shake of her head.

He shook his head, feeling that on some level the Blight was still more appealing. After all, if a Trolloc laughed at him he could just kill it. The Tower seemed to frown on the murder of trainees for some reason. Silly southerners. "I'm sure I'll have plenty of opportunities to make less a fool of myself later. So, how about you? Got anything that tops muddy embarrassment?"

She laughed and then frowned thoughtfully; making Mirkal wonder if perhaps the Aes Sedai had had a day to match his. Absently his mind wandered to more pleasant things, wondering if later they might distract each other from the nuisance of Tower business. "I'm not sure it would top that embarrassment but I do have something I found rather startling." She said, as she drunk the tea frowning at it.

Mirkal raised an eyebrow. "Oh?" Perhaps there had been more developments in the north that he hadn’t heard about.

Lacy nodded. "Yes. I woke up not feeling my best this morning and slipped down to the Yellows hoping they could Heal it for me before my lesson with a new novice." She said with a slight smile. "Apparently what I have can't be Healed."

Mirkal frowned. Something that couldn’t be Healed? There were few ailments in the world that fit into that category and most of them were Shadow tainted and fatal. "What's wrong?" he asked, doing his best to control the worry in his voice.

Lacy looked around before continuing as if worried someone would over heard her. "Well, apparently the Heartleaf did not work while in the Borderlands."

"What's Heartleaf?" he asked with a frown, taking another drink. Women sometimes talked about it, but he’d never been clear on exactly what the herb did. It didn’t strike him as related something fatal though. Perhaps she was just being dramatic.

Lacy laughs and shakes her head. "It is a form of birth control. I'm with child."

She said more, but Mirkal heard not a word of it. At the words 'birth control' he spewed his ale across the bar choking and sputtering on the bit that remained Once he was able to breathe again he gaped at her. "You're..."

She nodded. "I have not told anyone else and I threatened to turn the Yellow inside out if she told another soul. Luckily she's still young enough that she believes I can do it with little trouble. I thought you should know though I'm not telling anyone else for quite a while."

Mirkal stared at her, trying to process the information. She was with child… She was pregnant? And she was telling him because… "You're..."

Lacy stared back at him and nodded. "With child." She said slowly as if talking to a simpleton.

Mirkal emptied his ale immediately, gesturing to the barkeep for another. She was pregnant. Lacy was pregnant. An Aes Sedai who was not his own was pregnant with his child. I have a child? He downed the second ale immediately and stared at the empty glass, the true realization of what had happened finally hitting him. "She's gonna kill me,” he said and no one would need to ask who ‘she’ was.

"Not necessarily." Lacy shrugged, seeming unconcerned. Though she did frown, as if she hadn’t considered what Elizhure might think of this development. "One good thing about my reputation, she would believe me if I told her it was not you. Although, I would have to twist my words a bit to make the story fit." She bit her bottom lip with her small white teeth, as if contemplating how to go about it.

Mirkal rubbed his brow, trying to imagine what she could possibly say to mislead his Aes Sedai. For that matter, if Elizhure pressed him would he really be able to deny it. The woman could read him like a book on a bad day. "She's more than two hundred years old Lacy. Most of us can't lie to our parents successfully."

She frowned and nodded. "I know. But if I refuse to say and you refuse to say she can't logically say it’s you."

Mirkal felt a nervous laugh erupt from his throat and ordered a third drink. He’d probably need several more before the night was out. "Refuse to tell my Aes Sedai something? I don't see that going over particularly well."

"That is true. Although I'm sure she knows something is not well as it is, given the fact that you just stared at me for a full two minutes repeating the same word."

Heat climbed into Mirkal’s cheeks and he took the opportunity to bury his face in his mug. "Probably..." he mumbled. Ordinarily he might have felt the bond to see if he’d tipped El off to anything, but at that moment he really didn’t want to risk her figuring anything else if she hadn’t already. He just wrapped the bond up in the back of his mind and tried to ignore it.

Lacy smiled at him, that damned beautiful smile that made the darkness fall back, and placed her small hand upon his. "Don't worry. I won't let her kill you. I'll probably want to do that myself in a few months."

She was trying to be nice, supportive, funny. She was trying to help him, but in truth Mirkal didn’t think anything was going to make him feel better about the situation. Elizhure was going to kill him one way or another. He laughed again and took another deep drink, trying not to think about what her reaction would be when she eventually found out.

Lacy frowned; the light in the room seeming to darken. "I hope you do not think I'm any less surprised by this than you are." She pushed the tea away as if it had offended her. "I am not allowed to leave the Tower except to go to Ashlin or Warrick; I have also told you I'm not going to tell anyone. So suck it up."

Mirkal jerked as if he had been slapped. Light what was wrong with him? He’d been so involved in making himself feel miserable he hadn’t bothered to consider her feelings at all. Ultimately he wasn’t the one who was going to have to carry the child; he wasn’t the one who would be held responsible by the Tower; he wasn’t the one who would have to care for the child. He was just the father… the self-absorbed inconsiderate lump of a man who’d blindly gotten her pregnant. "I... I'm sorry, Lacy. I know this was just as unexpected for you I just... when I asked you if you had anything to top my day I wasn't expecting you to smash it into a pile of Trolloc puss on the floor. I..." he straightened slightly, trying to take back some of his dignity. He needed to stop acting like a worried timid arse. "I appreciate you telling me."

To his relief she laughed and shook her head. "Well, yes, I do have that talent, smashing things into a pile of Trolloc puss. I'm glad you've finally come around to the idea." She smiled a bit. "Luckily the Yellow said that I am healthy as well as the child though apparently my habits and eating is about to change."

Mirkal noted the tea. "No ale for a while. That's rough.” He wasn’t joking. He knew how much she liked her ale and couldn’t imagine having to go without it himself.

Lacy nodded and frowned. "Even worse than no ale, no wine and no more partially cooked steaks."

He winced and squeezed her hand. "I think I'd rather face El," he said, allowing a smirk to show through after a moment. Perhaps he wouldn’t have rather faced Elizhure, but he was sure she was more likely to forgive him for making fun of her than for what else he’d done.

Lacy smiled up at him. "I'm glad. While I act calm I'm terrified at the thought of having a child."

"You never thought about it? Even before you came to the Tower?"

She laughed; a good sound to hear again, even under the circumstances. "I came to the Tower at fourteen and had just escaped from a man I had been engaged to for an arranged marriage. You could say that children rarely crossed my mind."

Mirkal smiled softly but it faded as a new idea dawned on him. "You could always..." he cleared his throat. It was a damned stupid proposition; he didn’t like it one bit, but she deserved to have the option. For all he knew she’d already thought of it, Light he hoped she hadn’t. "I hear there's a good orphanage in the area..."

Lacy nods in agreement. "But I could never do that. It is not as if I'm some poor woman who has no other choice and the Tower is not a bad home." Lacy sighed. "And whatever it turns out to be, there is the possibility it will be able to channel."

He nodded, more than a little relieved. He wouldn’t want to do that to a child. He’d rather take it to his family in Kandor to raise first. At least that way he’d be able to see it. Distantly he wondered why that seemed so important. "Of course. I didn't really think that you should... but it is your choice, even if it is... mine."

"I'm glad that you are relieved." Lacy said with a nod and small smile, her hand still holding to his. She tightened her grip on him. "I guess we should possibly tell Elizhure together?" She asked with an arched brow.

Mirkal winces slightly. "I thought you weren't going to tell anyone else," he said hopefully. He knew though, Elizhure would have to be told. She’s going to kill me, he thought again.

Lacy smirked a bit. "Well, you said you thought you should face El. Although I do not plan on telling anyone until it’s impossible to hide. By that time many will have probably forgotten all about Elizhure and her Warders. I'm sure she'll have you all in the Blight by then."

Mirkal opened his mouth to object. Object? To what? Returning to the Blight with his Aes Sedai? Doing his duty as a Warder? Abandoning his child and the woman he… he loved? As the realization washed over him he closed his mouth and became decidedly interested in the taste of his ale. Was he mad? Being in love with an Aes Sedai besides his own? What did he think was going to happen? Did he expect to be able to raise the child along side Lacy without comment or conflict? Did he really think Elizhure would allow such a thing? More importantly, would Lacy? He’d learned a great many things about the beautiful Green over the two months he’d known her, the most prominent being her sense of duty and her strong moral code. Even if he were to suggest something as ludicrous as raising the child with her, she’d never allow him to walk away from Elizhure. For that matter, he wasn’t even sure he could.

Mirkal cleared his throat softly. "Is that what you want? For me to leave?" He had to know. He’d never asked, never thought to, but now it seemed important. Did she feel the same way he did? Or was he just another man in a long line past and to come.

Lacy shook her head, sending a sense of relief flooding through him. "Of course not, I’d never want you to leave. But I'm not about to ask for a Sister's Warder to leave her. Although, I have thought of more than once trading Chris for you." She gave him a weak smile.

He couldn’t help but laugh at the idea of presenting such a thing to Elizhure and the Asha’man. "Did you ask Chris about that? I think he might want some say in that."

She shook her head. "Of course I didn't ask him. If I did I'd have to explain the reason why and he might be dense upon occasion but he's a bit sharper than many give him credit for."

Mirkal paused half way to his cup, a new thought occurring to him at that moment. He’d been so worried about Elizhure he hadn’t considered the other side. "Do I need to worry about a vengeful brother?"

Lacy shakes her head for a third time. "He'll be relieved. Now he doesn't have to supply heirs to Ashlin."

Mirkal nodded, that was definitely one way of looking at it. He had to admit he wouldn’t have been so calm had his sister been in a similar situation. "Well that's one I don't have to worry about..."

"Oh Christian will probably be very happy and probably even give you a pat on the back."

Mirkal emptied his third ale. With all his babble Lacy was probably starting to wonder what Elizhure was going to do to him. For that matter, Mirkal was starting to wonder too. "Any suggestions on how we might go about breaking the news to El?"

She shrugged. "You could go and run and I could tell her and make a gateway. She hasn't perfected that weave yet. Though knowing my luck she would after I told her."

Mirkal laughed, though it was touched with nervousness. "I'd wager on that. She becomes resourceful and the damnedest of times." He knew that running was most definitely not an option. Aside from the fact that she’d be able to find him easily with the bond, he knew that on some level it would probably be a bigger disappointment to her than the offense for which he was running.

Lacy nodded slightly. "I guess we should probably tell her straight out and probably together."

"I guess."

"Any guess on when it would be the best to do it?" She asked with a frown.

He smiled weakly. "Never?" It seemed as good a time as any, but he doubted it was the sort of answer Lacy had been looking for. He sighed. "She's been moody lately, would probably be better to let it pass first."

Lacy nodded a bit. "I can only guess why she's been moody."

Mirkal sighed, partially wondering what Lacy meant by that, but he let it slide. Probably just another Aes Seda thing. "Well, maybe I'll be able to find a way to smooth things over. Give her foot massages for a month or something."

She laughed, "I'm sure that would help. How can I get in on those foot massages?"

He couldn’t help but smile at the thought. "You need only ask."

"That sounds incredibly easy." She said with a smile. "How about we get started now, in my rooms?"

That stopped him. Mirkal raised an eyebrow. In all the time they’d been seeing each other, never had he dared to enter her rooms. They’d kept their relationship under the table as best as possible, favoring inns with keepers known to be tactful and discrete. Was she really suggesting taking the chance of everyone else knowing about their relationship? "In your rooms?" he repeated to be sure.

She nodded; she was. "Well Elizhure will know soon and it will not be long before I'm showing." She frowned again, but it was slightly different this time, at least to his eye. "May as well not worry about avoiding my rooms now."

Mirkal nodded. She was right, no sense worrying about hiding it. Even if things went the best way possible, it was still likely that someone would find out about what happened. Better to confirm rumor than allow it to take a life of its own. "About time I accept responsibility for something I've done."

Lacy laughed her wonderful laugh and stood, smoothing her skirts. "I guess it’s something new for both of us."

Offering her his arm, Mirkal rose. "Let's off to our doom together then!" And may the Light, and Elizhure, forgive us both.

"Yes. Our doom."

*~*~*~*

It had been a few days since Lacy had spoken to Mirkal about their little problem and she still wasn’t sure when they were going to go talk to Elizhure. However the Green knew that the Yellows would not hold off much longer on telling her Sitters and she felt she should have some closure with Elizhure before her fellow Green found out from other sources. As the petite Green left her room she headed to the door that was very close to her own. She had no way of knowing whether Elizhure would be within or otherwise occupied, but now was as good a time to try as any.

Lacy approached the door and took a deep breath before raising a slim hand and knocking firmly. Hearing Elizhure’s call of enter she took one more deep breath before pushing the door open and shutting it behind her. Grey eyes fell upon Olen and she frowned ever so slightly. She was hoping to be able to do this in private. "Evening Elizhure. Olen."

Elizhure apparently caught the look of distress on her face. "Good evening, Lacy.” Her fellow Green said before turning to her warder. “Olen, would you excuse us please." The Warder rose smoothly, setting aside the book he was reading. "I'll be on the fields if you need me." He told his Aes Sedai before nodding his head to her as he left with a quiet; "Lacy."

She returned Olen's nod and waited for him to leave before looking at Elizhure. "I hate to disrupt your evening Sister, especially when you've been at the Tower for such a short time."

Elizhure chuckled as if she were amused by the formal tone Lacy had not realized she had adopted, she was so used to having her guard up while at the Tower that she had slipped into it by accident. Apparently Elizhure realized for her next words were a bit comforting. "Please Lacy, no need to be so formal. I may put on a face out there, but I tend to be less... uptight when I'm among friends."

Lacy couldn’t help but laugh a bit at her Sister. "Of course Elizhure." Lacy said with her small smile still upon her lips and took the seat Olen had vacated. "I'm afraid I have some rather bad news. Well, it could be seen as bad or perhaps just a little startling, depending on your point of view really." Lacy knew she had her fellow Green’s attention when Elizhure set her letter aside and floated over a tray of tea, giving the water a quick touch of heat. "I see," was all she said.

Lacy realized she was babbling and took a deep breath and did a quick calming exercise from her years as a Novice. "I apologize for the disorderly mess that is my mind today. I just cannot seem to concentrate long enough for a complete thought. However I'll feel better after I’ve gotten this off my chest." Lacy eyed the tea wondering if it were stronger than what the Yellows were sending to her rooms every day.

She was thankful when Elizhure poured two cups and took one for herself before leaning back. The woman’s next words were not so much of a comfort however. "I've never seen you so nervous Lacy,” Elizhure said. “Short of telling me you've decided to trade in your Green shawl for a Black one I can't imagine what might have you so on edge."

Lacy laughed at that statement, it was absurd of course. Her; one of the most dangerous and typical Greens; taking on the Black Shawl? Never! "Well I'm not sure I'd tell anyone that if I ever decided upon doing it. The Light protect me from ever meeting such a fate." Lacy took one of the cups of tea and sighed. "Elizhure, it’s hard to tell you, especially you. This is something new for me, finding something hard to tell a fellow Sister.” Lacy realized she was babbling and got to the point. “I'm afraid that I am with child. The Yellows confirmed it yesterday."

She wasn’t sure how her fellow Green would take it but Elizhure merely stopped half way to her cup. "Ah," she said and then took a sip. "And am I to take it that this is the source of Mirkal's sudden burst of anxiety a few nights past?"

Lacy nodded in the positive as she finally took a sip of the tea. "And he would not take any of the honorable ways out that I was trying to give him." Lacy frowned. "The stubborn man."

She was only slightly surprised when Elizhure raised an eyebrow and asked, "Honorable ways?"

Lacy merely shrugged as she spoke. "I told him I had no intentions of telling anyone any time soon and that by the time I started showing he could be miles away in the Borderlands. I told him I was sure you would not remain the Tower long enough for my condition to show with him still here if he only asked you to take him away. Although the Yellows have decided to snag up that plan for me, they intend to tell our Sitters very soon."

Elizhure merely frowned and sipped at her tea. "I suppose that would be the most sensible course. Lessen the chances of someone making the connection. Forgive my inquiring, but you did use the appropriate herbs, did you not?"

How dense does the woman think I am? Lacy wondered as she nodded. "Apparently what I used in the Borderlands was not as potent as what I would have used here in the Tower. I guess the serving girls supplied the best they could on such short notice." Lacy could not remember taking the herb given the excitement of the day but she assumed that she did, she always made sure to drink heartleaf. Always.

Elizhure merely sighed and rubbed her eyes. "This is quite the mess he's created..."

At those words Lacy frowned at bit. "Well I guess I can't blame it all on him. He did have some help creating this small mess." Lacy sighed. "I am here to get you to talk some sense into him. I can tell he's happy being your Warder and had I not had a fit of morals I would never have told him the other night."

Elizhure sighed and laughed softly, almost bitterly. "I'm afraid he might not be so content with being my warder after what must be done."

Lacy arched an eyebrow at Elizhure‘s last words. "I'm not sure I follow your meaning."

At that Elizhure set her tea down and spoke again. "Until this moment I didn't truly appreciate what a pain in the neck those bloody oaths can be." She sighed as if she suddenly regretted them. "The first night my warder followed you out of the room like a tactless puppy dog I remarked aloud to those remaining, that should he get you pregnant I would break his legs."

Lacy couldn’t help but laugh at her fellow Green's words. "Yes. Those oaths are a pain in the neck and I can't really see him being happy about that." Lacy said with a slight frown. She couldn’t see any man being happy about having his legs broken. Not that she liked the idea of his legs being broken either but he was not her Warder, merely her lover.

As she retrieved her tea Elizhure added her own thoughts. "I can't say I'm happy about it either. I never truly expected it to happen, and now I’ve got to carry through on an idle meaningless threat."

Lacy nodded seeing the small problem. "There should be some way around idle threats made to one's Warder but unfortunately the Oaths do not take into account the actions of men. Be they Warder or no."

Elizhure laughed softly at that. "Indeed, but that is for me to figure out. Tell me, Lacy, what of the child? Are you comfortable allowing it to grow up without a father?"

Lacy frowned at the question, Elizhure was asking questions she would rather not answer since there was no way of lying her way around them and she was too distracted to tell anything but the flat truth, no bending the truth tonight. "I know I will be more than able to provide for a child. Be it a girl she would find herself the center of attention of most of the Aes Sedai because she would probably be able to channel. However I am more than afraid that if I have a son he will miss having a father. I know Chris would spend time with the child but an uncle and a father are not one and the same and Chris does have his own life to go about."

Elizhure merely nodded as if she expected as much. "Should you ever choose to bond, undoubtedly your mate would take an interest in a boy..."

Lacy nodded wondering where the other Green was going with these questions. "Of course although I'm sure an Aes Sedai with a child is a little less attractive. Especially we Greens since we have to remain out of the Green lifestyle until the child is old enough to no longer be considered a child.”

Again Elizhure merely nodded. "And did you ask Mirkal what he thought of abandoning the child?"

Lacy shook her head for she had tried not to tell the man of the child but her morals would not have let her. A man deserved to know he had a child, especially if he was of the Borderlands since those men tended to have such short lives that ended so violently. "Of course not; he did suggest an orphanage. Though he liked the idea as much as I did and that is to say very little. I think he was trying to feel my stance on the matter by suggesting it rather than really expecting me to agree with it. I'm afraid he may not wish to leave due to what I told him." Had she known, she probably would have overcome her morals.

She was not surprised when Elizhure nodded and sipped at her tea. "And how do you feel about me taking away the father of your child back to the dangers of the borderlands?"

The woman was asking more difficult questions by the minute which made Lacy sip her own tea for a moment to think. "Elizhure, he is your Warder and bound to you. That is his duty to you and I knew it well before I ever invited him to my rooms. Mirkal knew his duty as well, no matter what may have happened between us. As a Green we learn duty and that we must follow it. No matter if we like it or not. While it would distress me for you to take him away I am not about to ask a man not to do his duty to my Sister." She was surprised at Elizhure’s next statement although she nodded in agreement.

"And well you shouldn't ask. It is not your place to request such things. It is his,” Elizhure said as if it was the most factual thing in the world.

Lacy nodded again for a second before stopping. "I will agree with that. Though I am not here to try to get him out of his bond, in fact I’m after quite the opposite end."

Elizhure raised an eyebrow at her. "And what ends are you trying for?"

Lacy knew that Elizhure was thinking a bit more calmly than she was at the moment. She was trying to tell all the people that she should before the Yellow that tested her got up enough courage to tell her Sitters. "I'm trying my best not to cause more of a scandal with this than there has to be and trying not to take one of my Sister‘s Warders."

Elizhure merely sipped at her tea in a calm way which was starting to irritate Lacy. Her sister should be pulling her hair out by this time. She merely spoke again in her calm tone. "Indeed. And you see me whisking my warder away in the hopes of no one making the connection as less of a scandal than me passing the bond on to you?"

Lacy frowned for a moment; the woman was making too much sense and saying all the things she wanted to hear. "Not really. But I'm not sure that Mirkal will ask to be released from the Bond." Lacy said with the small frown still on her face, Elizhure was staying far to calm for what she had just told her. She was startled slightly when Elizhure smiled at her although she did not show it.

"Then that is the question." Her fellow Green set her cup down, empty. "I'll be honest with you Lacy, now that things are as they are I could give a Trollocs butt crack what the Tower thinks of this little scandal. The only thing that really matters to me right now is Mirkal. When we returned from the Blight the man spent weeks moping like a lost puppy, until he began spending time with you again. My dear, the man is utterly smitten by you and I'm not about to keep that kind of happiness from him, provided he has the courage to ask for it."

Lacy listened to her fellow Green with her head tilted to the side a bit as if noticing something for the first time in months, although she couldn‘t help but laugh softly at Elizhure‘s comment about a Trolloc‘s crack. She knew that Mirkal was more than fond of her, more than was proper given their current situations and ranks. "I'm sorry you had to deal with the moping about while I was on other missions for our Ajah. However I'm not sure that courage is the issue. I think it’s more of an issue of duty." Lacy knew that Mirkal might not have the same ideas of duty that he did before given the circumstances and it seemed Elizhure agreed as she raised an eyebrow and asked "Is it?"

Lacy shrugged. "I can't honestly see Mirkal skipping what he sees as his duty. Although I'm sure I've thrown his thoughts for a loop. I have undoubtedly confused his sense of duty. I’m sure now the child will be his main focus." Lacy sighed. She wondered if this would have arisen had she not become with child. Would Mirkal eventually have felt a conflict of duty between the two Aes Sedai he cared most about?

Elizhure nodded. "But there are two things in my experience that cloud a man's judgment. Drink and Love; and despite the fact he's out drinking at this very moment, I highly doubt that is what should concern me the most. Duty means a lot to him. The question is does it mean more to him than you do?"

Lacy wasn’t sure what to say to that little revelation and sighed before taking another sip of the tea that wasn't a bit weak. "I'm not sure. He's never spoken of his feelings for me very clearly. Sure he would speak after a night in my bed but what man wouldn't?" Lacy arched a finely shaped brow. "I guess the Wheel weaves and such."

Elizhure merely shrugged as if she though Lacy were being dense on purpose. "He's a very unique individual; certainly not the sort I would have expected to take as a Warder. Now that this has happened I can't help but wonder..."

Lacy smiled a small smile when Elizhure mentioned she never would have expected to take him as a Warder. "What is it that you wonder?" Lacy asked caught by the last of the woman’s statement.

Elizhure smiled one of her serene smiles at her, the ones Lacy was growing quite tired of by now. "Most people would not expect it of me, but I am a rather religious woman. I believe in the power of the Creator, the Wheel and the Pattern, and despite all the Shadow does to overcome it, I still believe in how strongly it controls our lives. Frequently I have felt myself guided by instinct and fate, and I cannot help but wonder if I was merely a portal for Mirkal, a means to reach his true destination."

Lacy was a bit stunned by the woman‘s words but knew the same feeling, she had been drawn to places sometimes without explanation. "You know, I think many of us Greens have the same beliefs and many would be surprised to learn so. The Pattern does weave in mysterious ways some times. Though I have to say it would be a bit much to think that the Pattern put us on our path merely so you could pass Mirkal to me because I became with Child." Lacy wondered if those daggers were meant to lead them to each other and perhaps her to Elizhure as well.

Elizhure leaned forward suddenly. "However, he is my friend and has been my companion for nearly two decades. I'll have no playing on words here, or misrepresentations to make me feel better about what has happened. Should I release him, is it your desire to bond with him, regardless of the child or any other factors? This I must know."

At the question Lacy gave Elizhure a flat look knowing the answer already but wondering if she should admit it. "I have to admit that I would Bond him without the prompting of a child. Of course I'm not sure that factor would influence my decision anyhow. You can always have a relationship with a father of your child and not Bond them. But yes, I would bond him even without a child on the way." Lacy was still pestered by the fact that while she might gain a Warder in this, and one that was fond of her, but her Sister was losing one.

Elizhure nodded at her though, unaware of her thoughts. "Good." She paused for a moment and apparently felt the need to explain herself for she continued. "I would rather he turn his vengeance on me for not releasing him, than were I to do so and have him learn that the woman he took a great risk for would not have him."

Lacy nodded in understanding, she had guessed at the reason for the question and was why she had answered it without twisting her words. Although, she was still unable to think too terribly clearly, "I understand your reasoning. We all try to protect our friends and it’s sadly been years since I've made friends from our Sisters, much less within my own Ajah. I would do the same for any of the few I consider friends." Lacy wondered if Elizhure realized what she had tried to do here tonight as well.

Elizhure leaned back again closing her eyes as if remembering something. "A Green's life is a lonely one, save for her Warders. And they wonder why we bond so many.”

Lacy nodded and laughed "Indeed it is. I guess I will not be quite so lonely for a few years, although one can only guess after that. Especially if the child can channel and is a boy." Elizhure nodded but did not comment on her words. Lacy sighed. "Elizhure it pained me to tell you this but I was afraid that it would take too long for Mirkal to tell you on his own, if ever, and I wanted you to know long before our Sitters do. Luckily I think the Yellow is still half terrified of me from her last class with me as an Accepted."

Elizhure nodded without opening her eyes. "I appreciate that. I do not think I could've been so composed had he come himself."

Lacy arched an eyebrow. "I'm not sure why there is much of a difference though I'm sure his nerve would probably have made it a bit difficult."

Elizhure‘s real smile spoke volumes. "Unbeknownst to the rest of the world and to my Warders as well is how deeply I care for them. I'll not lie, this hurts; more than I care to admit even to myself. But for him, I will endure it."

Lacy nodded though she knew Elizhure could not see it. "I actually told him I'd swap Chris for him. He didn't seem to think my brother would be happy with me trading him about like some horse." Lacy sighed and leaned back in the chair a bit. "Then again he may never ask and in time this will all be merely a memory."

Elizhure cracked one eye at her and Lacy met her gaze. "So confident are you? Are you so used to breaking hearts that you don't consider one man might refuse to let his be broken?"

Shaking her head Lacy couldn’t help but smile a bit sadly. "I'm use to men getting tired of my life style very quickly as well as my temper. I've broken fewer hearts than the Tower gives me credit for. I don‘t dissuade the tales because it usually works out better for me in the end to let the men look heartbroken and not me."

Elizhure actually smirked at her; the woman had nerve considering the situation. "Well I don't think lifestyle will be a problem, he's fairly used to that by now and as for temper... I am the woman who is going to have to break his legs."

Lacy laughed though she wasn‘t really amused that Mirkal would have to have his legs broken. "Well yes the life style seems to get along with him fairly well. And I'm sure your temper more than matches mine. I'm not sure how you are going to go about breaking his legs and not really sure I’d want to be witness to it.”

Elizhure sighed as if dreading the thought. "I'll probably drug him, or give him a good knock over the head, depending on how he approaches me. Fortunately the oaths are a little vague on timeline. So long as I do it, the when doesn't matter."

Lacy nodded in agreement. "Yes. At least it can be put off until he makes up his mind.” Lacy sighed. "I'll not say that I'm not hoping he doesn't ask, but if he does. Can you preferably do it before I receive the Bond? I'd rather not have to feel that pain." Lacy really didn’t like the idea of Mirkal’s legs being broken because of a mistake she had made as well. Of course she really wasn’t sure how she would react to feeling his legs broken. This strange feeling with in her was something she could not quite predict yet.

Elizhure opened her eyes and looked at her as if she had lost her mind. "Do you honestly think I'd break the legs of another Sister's warder? No, dear, that'll be mine to bear as well. If nothing else it'll teach me not to make stupid threats against stupider men.”

Lacy nodded and laughed a bit softly amused at her Sister‘s slightly positive look on the process. "Well that will take a little strain from my thoughts. Although, you can't blame him for this entirely Sister. I was at fault for his stupidity, if that is what you would like to call it, although he did start it with his pick up lines."

When Elizhure chuckled Lacy couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow as she spoke. "Please, spare me the man's horrific jokes. He's lucky Olen didn't kill him for that first one."

Lacy can't help but laugh now that she had done what she had come for. "Let me guess. He tried you with a bad pick up line?"

Elizhure nodded and perhaps looked a bit amused as she spoke. "A particularly horrific one that I'm sorry to say I was familiar with. The look on his face once he realized what I was I must admit was rather priceless."

Lacy smiled at the thought. "I can only imagine." She shook her head and laughed softly. "Although a few Borderlanders I've known in the past could care less if the face was ageless as long as it was comely."

Elizhure nodded in apparent agreement. "Yes, but when you're expecting a nice young thing who'll be charmed by your foolish wit, you don't exactly react well to finding an ageless face and a ring staring back."

Lacy nodded. "That is too true. How I would have loved to have seen his face then. I'm sure it was much more amusing than when I told him my news last night."

Elizhure smiled as if she would have liked to have seen his face last night. "How did he react? If I might ask..."

Lacy smiled at the question remembering how the man had stuttered at her, it was endearing. "He just stared at me and said 'You're.... you're.... you're....' until I told him once again. After that I thought he was intent on going through all of Rose's ale."

Elizhure shook her head and looked upward as if she might find answers there. "Ah consequences are a bitch, aren't they my friend."

Lacy wasn‘t sure what to say in response, though she was fairly sure that Elizhure was talking to Mirkal more than herself. "I'm sure that is much of what he was thinking the other night. We were supposed to come and tell you together; at least that was our agreement. But seeing as how we're both women I thought we should speak privately without a man getting in the way. And I did want you to know before our Sitters found out."

Elizhure nodded in answer. "And only time will tell if he will. Forgive me Lacy, I'm rather tired this evening and this news certainly didn't help in that regard. I'll let you know should his nerve show itself."

Lacy nodded and stood to leave. "Indeed. I think I need to write my brother and tell him the news as well. Though I will break his legs if he tells anyone and enjoy every moment of it." Lacy replaced the cup on the tray and smoothed her skirts. "I bid you a good night Elizhure and hopefully Mirkal will not be too full of nerves until he makes up his mind one way or another. Again I’m sorry for the pain I’ve caused you. Good night." With that the petite Green exited the room.

Elizhure smiled as she left the room and whispered so she could barely hear. "Be careful with threats like that Lacy... you never know what you'll regret."

Olen waited in the corridor and she bid him a good evening before making her way across the hall to her own rooms. She wasn’t sure what to make of her meeting with Elizhure, the woman seemed very sure that she would be passing on Mirkal’s bond before long. Apparently the man loved her, or at least that is what Elizhure told her and she was sure the woman was not misreading the Bond. The idea that Mirkal actually loved her instead of being one in the long line of the many men she had spent time with was something that was going to take her a moment to wrap her head around. While her feelings for Mirkal were still trying to sort themselves out, especially after such a revelation, she sat down to begin writing a letter.

The letter more or less wrote itself to her brother. She put down nothing specific except for the fact that she was indeed with child and that it was Mirkal’s. She sealed the letter and sent it off with Faei before she could think on it further. She wasn’t sure how Christian would take the news but it was bound to be full of censure and suggestions on how to make this small problem a bit less of a scandal before it became a slightly bigger problem in a few months.

~*~*~*~*

Elizhure sighed, sinking into her chair as the door closed softly. It had taken all of her strength to hold her emotions back during their conversation, and more importantly to keep them obscured from the others as well. Only Olen knew what had been going on in her head and contrary to his words, he’d been outside her rooms for the entire conversation. He had felt everything just as she had and she knew from the moment she met his eyes that he’d already known. Mirkal probably told him this morning, she realized. He was keeping in from me, so close and yet… He knew he couldn’t be the one to tell me. She could see the sadness, the apology in his eye, could feel it in his mind.

Olen crossed the room silently, kneeling in front of her, taking his hand into hers. Not a word past between them; no words were needed when one had the bond. And in that moment the compassion and sympathy that flooded towards her shattered the calm she’d held up for Lacy. Tears poured down her cheeks like rain and she fell forward into his arms weeping.

There had been no lie in her words to Lacy; she would give up Mirkal in favor of his own happiness. She would help in whatever way she could to see him where he truly belonged, but that the Pattern claimed it destined to be did not change how much it hurt. He had found someone else, a woman whose life meant more to him than hers did, a woman who had given him things she never could; a woman that he loved. And until that moment had come, the one where she knew a decision would have to be made, she hadn’t realized how important the jovial fool was to her. She might have named him the Light itself; a source of humor and hope amidst the darkness of reality. No one except Kaen had made her laugh the way Mirkal did, or could poke fun at her so mercilessly without rebuke. He was her friend, and had become one so much faster than any Warder she had in the years past. He was her friend and on some level so was the woman who had stolen his heart. In time the pain would pass and she would truly accept what was to come, but they would never know. She would never let them know. And so, she cried.

~*~*~*~*

Mirkal watched as Olen dropped gold onto the counter. “Please, Rose, a bottle of the best brandy you have and two glasses.” The other man looked at him his eyes filled with mixed emotions and concern. “You, my friend,” he said, “have a serious problem.”

“I know,” Mirkal said softly, far from his usual jovial self.

Olen thanked her for their drinks and poured a full glass for each of them. “You need to decide, to choose. There’s no other way, you know that.”

Mirkal sighed, spinning a crown on the counter top. It would be so easy to simply flip a coin and see which way it landed, so much easier. Heads he stayed, tails he left; so easy. He wasn’t sure he could leave this up to random chance though. How did normal men make such a decision? When had he stopped considering himself a normal man? When you slept with a Sister other than your own, a voice seemed to say. When you crossed the line, no other warder would dare to cross. When she didn’t stop you and you didn’t have the strength to stop yourself. He sighed. How did one decide?

On one hand there was his Aes Sedai, his friend, the woman he’d dedicated his strength and youth to; the woman he’d sworn to protect with his very life. He loved Elizhure in a way that was not expressible through words. Possibly the hardest thing for him was to know that this would hurt her, no matter which way he decided. At that moment had someone asked him to die for her, he would still have done it without hesitation or question. It was his duty, his honour and his life and there had been a time when he’d not have given that up for anything. Then he had met Lacy.

If someone had told him that in the morning he’d have met a woman that they all would suspect of being Black Ajah and by evening he’d have taken to bed with that same woman, he would’ve named them insane. Yet there was something powerful and intoxicating about the tiny Green. She took her duty seriously, and yet was so friendly and light hearted at the same time. Just hearing her laugh made his spirits lift; watching her in battle was almost as incredible as watching a Saldaean dance. She was the first thing he thought about when he woke up and the last thing before he went to bed. No matter how hard he tried to tell himself he only faced this decision because of the child that had accidentally been created, he knew in his heart that this was coming. He’d fallen in love, truly in love with this woman and though he knew he could walk away if had to, he didn’t want to.

Lacy had told him that she would never ask another Sister to release her Warder to her, a statement which had only made him love her more. It was something that he himself wasn’t sure he could ask; he didn’t want to hurt Elizhure like that, to tell her that there was someone whom he would rather protect. He wasn’t even sure if he could compare the women that way, raising one over the other. They were both too important to him, to his life. He had to decide; he had to walk away from one or the other, or else he knew his own indecision would destroy him and perhaps them as well. He had to decide.

El the Tower, Lacy the Flame, he thought to himself and tossed the coin into the air. It was a coward’s way out, and perhaps he would ignore the outcome all together, but for some reason he still wanted to know if fate had anything to say.

The coin sailed into the air, twirling as it rose and plummeted towards his open hand. Mirkal never touched it though. At the last moment Olen snatched it away, slapping it down on the back of his own hand. Their eyes met; his friend’s gaze was firm, unwavering as it had always been.

“Decide,” Olen said. His friend wouldn’t let him throw away his life to random chance. The choice had to be made consciously, without regret. He was right of course, and in his heart Mirkal knew he’d already decided. He just had not had the courage to admit it.

Taking his glass in hand, Mirkal slammed back the brandy and got to his feet. A bit of liquid courage wouldn’t hurt where he was going. He put a hand on Olen’s shoulder in thanks and then walked out of the inn past various patrons, all of them oblivious to the decision he had just made. Regardless of the way things went tonight, he had a feeling most of the Tower would know by morning. He didn’t know if this had ever happened before, and really wasn’t sure he cared to. Another man’s failure or success would have no bearing on him.

Originally he and Lacy had said they’d go speak to Elizhure together, to tell her about the child. That time had never come. His Aes Sedai still remained oblivious to her fellow Green’s pregnancy; something he would have to rectify tonight. The question was whether or not El would attribute his decision to the child or not and whether or not that would change her reaction. Too many questions; too many things he didn’t know. Light, I have been bonded to her so long and yet there is still so much I don’t understand.

The boost the brandy had given him only lasted so long and his pace began to slow by the time he reached the Green Halls. Doors moved past him, all nameless; he had not been at the Tower long enough to know which Greens resided where. He knew only two and lucky for him the one he needed was first. He wasn’t sure how Lacy would react to him going to speak with Elizhure alone, but he’d rather find out later. He wasn’t sure he had the determination to deal with both of them tonight. One Green at a time. Ha! If only I’d learned that sooner.

Mirkal drew to a stop outside Elizhure’s door, letting out a slow breath. His last chance to turn away and forget it all. He could still walk away now, go back to his brandy and put it all out of his mind. If he asked her, Elizhure would probably return to the Blight, taking him as far away from Lacy as he could get. It would hurt for a while, but eventually he’d be able to move on, wouldn’t he? He could leave her and his child behind and never think twice. If he asked her, they could be gone tomorrow.

He raised his hand to knock.

“Come in, Mirkal,” the soft voice said, before his knuckles had made contact. Mirkal flinched slightly and opened the door. She’d known. Of course she’d know he was there. He stepped into the room, letting the door close softly behind him. There was no turning back now.

She sat in one of the high backed chairs near the fire. Elizhure’s apartments were a little more practical than most Aes Sedai’s; though they had been a fair bit dusty when she’d first returned. The furniture was practical, as opposed to fancy, the rugs attractive, but plain. Most of the room was made of dark greens, blues and purples, giving the room a cool feel, but without making it seem to dark. There was a pot of tea on the table between the two chairs; two cups had already been poured. She knew I was coming, he thought, probably before I did. Light, does she already know why I’m here?

At a gesture from his Aes Sedai Mirkal sat in the other chair. He looked at her for a moment, studying her, trying to find some indication as to her mood and how much she knew. But it was the Aes Sedai who sat across from him at that moment, neutral beyond neutrality written on her face. The bond was wrapped tight, pulsing only with a cool impartiality. Whatever she felt, or didn’t feel, she kept it from him at that moment. Intentionally. She didn’t speak, didn’t move save to sip at her tea. The room was silent, but for the soft crackle of the fire.

It was cold too, but he swore he was starting to sweat. If she was trying to make him feel small and guilty she’d succeeded, but he knew he could not stop now, or he’d be second guessing himself for the rest of his life. It does not matter what she knows. That does not change what you came here to do. That does not change who you are and what you want. He leaned forward, taking the tea into his hands and taking a sip to calm his nerves. It was sweet, perhaps a little too sweet for his taste, but the warmth seemed to calm his nerves a bit. He’d come here so determined to do the right thing, to end this conflict and indecision once and for all, but he’d never given a thought of what to say. Just be honest, that’s all she’s ever asked of you; she can’t hate you for it now. Can’t she?

“El,” he began softly. “I want you to know that the greatest moment of my life was the day you asked me to serve you, and I don’t say that because at the time I thought it was a great honor to serve an Aes Sedai, I say it because after I came to know you as both a person and an Aes Sedai I realized what a privilege it was. If I was given that choice again, a hundred thousand times and I would do nothing different. I want you to know that that’s part of the reason it’s taken me so long to…” he trailed off going for the tea again, pausing to think, recover his strength. Still she sat there, expressionless, the bond closed. Mirkal stared into his tea, looking to it to give him the words he needed. “I made a choice; I won’t call it a mistake. It was what it was; a choice. I suppose I always knew things might turn out this way, that sooner or later she would not be just the next girl.” He looked up, meeting that cool, neutral gaze. “I love her and that’s not fair to you or her. I would still give my life for yours in a second, without hesitation. But I don’t trust myself anymore. I can’t trust myself to protect you while she’s sitting in the back of my mind, and I can’t…” his eyes fell again. “I can’t devote myself to…” He could not say it. He could not bring himself to say that so long as she was around he could not commit to a relationship with Lacy. It took him a moment to find his voice again amidst the mix of emotions. “I can’t continue like this; it’s not fair to either of you and it’s not fair to me. I…” He looked at her again, looked at the woman who had changed his life more than he could have imagined possible. He devoted everything to her comfort and protection for eighteen years and if it had not been for that single encounter, if it had not been for Lacy, he probably would have served her until death. He loved Elizhure in a way that even he couldn’t really understand and it hurt him to ask this of her, to know that he was choosing another over her. “I formally ask to be released from my bond.”

Elizhure was silent, studying him, the bond still flat. “Do you intend to become her Warder?” she asked without emotion.

Mirkal nodded hesitantly, unsettled by the still neutral aura that hovered around his Aes Sedai. He’d almost rather she were angry with him. “If that is her wish, then yes.”

Elizhure sighed softly. “I’m going to miss you,” she said softly.

Everything went dark.

~*~*~*~

Sitting at her desk, Lacy heard the knock on her door and her breath caught for a moment. It had been little over a week since she had spoken to Elizhure, surely Mirkal had not asked yet or even broached the subject. Lacy moved to the door to find Janvere waiting there. "Yes Janvere?" She asked not knowing how much he knew.

She did not even notice that Janvere averted his eyes, blushing slightly. "Uh, Elizhure requests you presence in her quarters."

Lacy barely saw the man's blushes as he spoke to her and turned his eyes away. "Oh. Thank you, Janvere. I'll be right with her." Lacy knew she had nothing to postpone her visit so she shut the door behind her and followed the man across the Hall to Elizhure's rooms, just a few steps from her own. Janvere bowed slightly and then left without another word. Lacy wondered why the man was suddenly being shy as she watched him leave. Looking towards Elizhure standing beside Mirkal Lacy noticed that the man was out as if someone had hit him over the head.

Elizhure smiled softly, her eyes touched with emotion. "I've taken care of the oaths. There's only one thing left."

Lacy walked to stand beside her not quite sure what to say. She could tell her Sister was in a state of mixed emotions over this whole thing and she hated to be the cause of it. "I take it he asked to be released?" Lacy asked in a soft tone, her grey eyes locked on the man's face so as to avoid the emotion clearly on Elizhure’s.

Elizhure nodded though she did not see it. "He did, and did it better than I was expecting." She looked up at the same moment Elizhure choose to do so. The older Green’s words were something that stunned the Green; nevertheless she was starting to believe it. "He cares for you a great deal."

Lacy nodded in agreement, Elizhure did not need to know that she was just learning of Mirkal‘s feelings for her and starting to explore her own for the man. "I guess he would have to, to come ask for you to release him in favor of me.”

Elizhure straightened at her words. "There is one more thing that needs to be said before we continue."

Lacy arched an eyebrow at this. "Yes?" she asked for she wasn’t sure what her fellow Green might say.

Elizhure's eyes hardened, before she began to speak. "I am, essentially, about to give you a piece of myself, a piece of my soul. Do not underestimate this. If you ever hurt him I swear by the oaths to which we are both bound that not even the Dark One's eyes will have anything to fear from you when I am through."

Lacy had a hard time not sighing but instead nodded in understanding. "I swear on the Light and my Salvation that I will not hurt him in any way. I cannot be held responsible if he gets hurt in his duties as a Warder but I swear I will never break his heart." Lacy knew that Elizhure was aware of her track record with men but she did not feel the need for another man. That was a strange feeling in and of itself for the Green, another strange side effect to the funny feeling she felt for the man.

Elizhure met her gaze for a moment, as if the oaths weren't enough, as if weighing her words. Lacy did not blink under Elizhure's gaze but continued to meet her eye until she nodded and began to speak. "So be it. Let it be noted that this bond is consensual; that both parties have made known their desire to be bonded." Elizhure laid one hand on Lacy's head which surprised the smaller Green and strangely enough took Mirkal's hand in her other. It was almost a tender embrace she had on the man’s hand. As she spoke Lacy merely nodded and closed her eyes, wondering what Mirkal would feel like when he was awake.

Elizhure closed her eyes as if saying a last and final goodbye to Mirkal, squeezed his hand gently and began to form the weaves to pass the bond on to Lacy. Lacy felt a presence join Maicin in the back of her mind and knew that it was Mirkal. It was silent at the moment but it felt… familiar. Somehow it was comforting, there in the back of her mind. Lacy opened her eyes and realized that Elizhure had kept Saidar wrapped around her like a cloak of safety. Lacy hated causing her Sister pain.

"Thank you, Elizhure." Lacy said she knew her eyes were a bit teary but she couldn't seem to keep them dry.

Elizhure smiled softly, almost sadly and nodded before speaking again. "I'll send him to you when he wakes, but if you don't mind... I'd prefer to be here with him alone for a time."

Lacy nodded in agreement before giving Mirkal a last look. "I think I'll have Faei get some food. I know he'll be hungry considering he just went through Healing from a Yellow." Lacy smiled softly, her hand wondering to her stomach of its own accord. "Thank you again Elizhure." Lacy moved out of the door and towards her own rooms.

~*~*~*~

Mirkal awoke to find he was still sitting in his chair. Elizhure sat across from him, sipping at her tea with a soft smile on her lips. The tea… he thought groggily. She put something in the tea…why? He still felt a little dazed and weaker than he might have expected. Probably a side effect of having had something to drink before being drugged. Other than that he felt fine. He seemed to be intact, the bond was still there…the bond… His head cleared suddenly as he realized that the bond in his mind did not point to the woman sitting in front of him. Elizhure was a blank to him, like trying to read an empty wall. He touched the bond gently, like running his hands over a delicate piece of pottery. It was different, softer, yet more lively, with the faintest air of humor as he touched it, but even though it was new, it was very familiar, as if he knew it already. Lacy…

Elizhure set her cup aside. “I thought it would be easier if I just gave the bond to her. Breaking it can sometimes have unforeseen effects; I didn’t want to take the chance.”

“So Lacy was here?” he asked slowly, trying to wrap his mind around what had happened.

Elizhure nodded. “Come and gone. I wanted to be here alone when you woke.”

Mirkal looked at her, looked at the softness in her face. He’d never seen that before and he could not help but wonder why? Did the bond cloud his vision? Had he been always so focused on what she was feeling that he never looked at her the way a normal person did? It would be different now that they were no longer connected any more. He wondered, would he still be able to come and talk with her? Would it be awkward when she and Lacy crossed paths? “Was she surprised that I came to you alone?” he asked. Or upset?

She shook her head. “No, in fact we were waiting for just that.”

Mirkal blinked. “You were?”

His Aes... Elizhure laughed softly. “Lacy came and talked to me more than a week ago. She explained the situation, including a small detail you omitted and I told her that I would give up your bond under one condition.”

“What was that?” he asked feeling ever the fool. Lacy had already talked to her without his knowledge. No wonder Elizhure had known he was coming.

“That you, my dear friend, have the courage and trust to come to me yourself and ask for it.” She sighed softly. “Oh Mirkal, I know I’m a hard person; it’s what I’ve had to be for most of my life, but there’s nothing I value more than the trust and friendship of the men I bond. And as much as I value your oaths and loyalty what kind of a friend would I be to deny you happiness when you stumble upon it?” She rose and crossed to kneel in front of him, taking his hand in hers. “You gave me eighteen years of friendship and service and for that I will always be grateful.” One of her hands drifted up to caress his cheek. “This is the least I can do.”

He tried to reply, but found a lump in his throat. Light, he should’ve had more faith in her. But he’d never imagined that his controlled, irritable, overbearing Aes Sedai could so be… sentimental.

“And I do appreciate you not trying to use that pregnancy thing as an excuse,” she said sitting back on her heels with a smirk.

“Ah,” was all he could think of to say. “Sorry about that.”

She laughed. “Lacy explained things; I’m rather glad she did, because it gave me time to get over being annoyed and figure out how I was going to go about things.”

“Transferring the bond, you mean?”

Elizhure shook her head and sighed. “You are the only man who has ever made me regret making a passive threat.” She shook her head again at his confused expression. “The first night you joined Lacy in her rooms, I haughtily announced to the room that if you got her pregnant I would break your legs. And thanks to those pesky oaths I had to swear…”

Mirkal stared at her a moment, processing the information. The threat itself didn’t surprise him; after all it was exactly the sort of thing he’d known Elizhure to say. However, he’d never really given any thought to what sort of impact her oaths would have on an idle threat. Suddenly the tea, the weakness and the faint hunger made a bit more sense. “You broke my legs?” he asked.

Elizhure nodded as if he’d been describing the weather. “I thought it would be nicer to do it while you were out. A yellow recommended the tea, said it would keep you unconscious throughout. She actually came here herself to do the Healing; I wanted to be sure there wasn’t any damage.” She smiled softly and shook her head. “Only you, Mirkal, could make me regret such a thing. Then again only you could provoke such a threat in the first place.” She reached up to touch his cheek again. “I really am going to miss you.”

Finally finding the strength to move and speak, Mirkal rose and helped her to her feet. “I’m not going anywhere, El. And I’m sure once she can channel again, Lacy would love a good Trolloc hunting expedition.”

She smiled, but he could see a hint of sadness in her eyes. “Won’t have you watching my back, though. That could take some getting used to.”

Mirkal took her hand, squeezing it gently. “El, I asked for my bond, not my oath. I might have to look out for Lacy first, but that does not mean I won’t be watching your back too.”

For a moment he thought she was going to object, cite some obscure text about a Warder’s duty, but instead she just put her arms around him. He held her close against him, a new feeling in itself. In all the years he’d known her she’d always gone to Olen or Janvere for comfort, never to him. Perhaps that was why he’d never realized how close they’d actually become. When she pulled away she did something that surprised him even more.

Going up on her toes, Elizhure placed a gentle kiss on his lips, soft and warm. She smiled at his expression. “I’ve owed you that for eighteen years.”

Mirkal laughed. “I suppose you did.”

She smiled, and then stopped, going into a hidden pocket in her skirts. “I almost forgot. Olen asked me to give you this,” she said passing him a folded slip of parchment.

Mirkal unfolded it slowly with a frown, wondering what his friend might have left for him that could not be said in person. It was a small page, just fitting into the palm of his hand. In the center was a circle with a flame at its heart. He smiled and shook his head, wondering if it was true, or the man was just trying to make him feel better. Then again, he had not told Olen which side of the toss was which. He tucked the paper away.

“What was it?” Elizhure asked with a soft smile.

“Just a wager,” he replied.

“Did you win?”

Mirkal smiled. “Yeah, I did.” The smile faded when he realized that Olen had sent him an image of the coin rather than the coin itself. “But the bastard still has my gold.”

Elizhure laughed. “Well I’m sure you’ll have plenty of time to get it back. But for now you’d best get going,” she said giving him a push towards the door. “I believe someone’s holding dinner for you and besides,” she said with a smirk, “being alone with another Aes Sedai in her own quarters? It’s scandalous. I thought you knew better than that.”

Mirkal smiled. “Thanks El.”

She smiled softly. “You’re welcome.”