Welcome to the Black Tower (TBCB: Eamer)

[edladd]

Eamer trailed Calmon out of the mess hall, trying not to look guilty, I never get away with anything, he shook his head ruefully - I didn't even touch the bloody thing!

They reached the training ground again and Eamer listened to the instructions.  Sounds fair, he thought to himself while he tried to grasp the stillness of the Quiet.  He fumbled it a few times, still embarrassed about getting caught before, but got it soon enough.  He floated there for a few moments, waiting for the feel of the warmth and light again.  He could feel his excitement rising outside the Quiet.  Or maybe excitement was the wrong word - perhaps anticipation was better.  There was still that fear of the unknown, and the doubt that he would be capable of controlling the Power.  With all this going on he could feel the bubble of calm shrinking under the pressure, but he managed to hold it and he could feel Saidin calling to him again.  He looked towards Calmon - still awaiting his response, "Yes Sir, I'm ready now, and I understand".

The bubble quivered slightly as a thought occurred to him - What does he mean by distractions?

[Matt]

Calmon nodded and began speaking. "Very well. As i have already told you, Saidin is dangerous. It won't do what you want it to do unless you force it to. Holding it is like trying to hold a raging bull still, you are constantly wrestling with it and should you lose concentration and allow it to overcome you, even for a moment, then you will either be killed or burned out. When you do manage to grasp it you will feel so full of life that you could burst and you will want to draw more. You must resist this urge. Drawing more of the Power than you can handle will also result in one of the two consequences I have mentioned."

He paused, and waited for Eamer to absorb what he had just told him. The M'Hael considered it acceptable for a certain number of students to die in their training, but Calmon couldn't help but feel opposed to the M'Hael's views in this regard. Men should not have to die in training, without having fought the battle for which they were training. If Calmon managed to teach the boy nothing else, it would be to be careful with Saidin. Well, as careful as you could be as a Soldier of the Black Tower. He spoke the words that he had used with all of his trainees, but this time, he added little jabs of Air, to test Eamer's concentration. "To channel Saidin requires discipline, Eamer, and even more so to survive it. The Power is more addictive than you can even imagine, if you let it, it will consume you. There are no shortage of men over the years who have grown so addicted to the feel of and unable to resist the call of Saidin that they have drawn more than is safe for them to do so. You now know what happens to such people, don't let it happen to you. Discipline, Soldier, discipline." The boy had to understand."

Finished, he crossed his arms and waited for the boy's summary.

[edladd]

Floating in the bubble of the Quiet, it was extremely easy to concentrate on Calmon's voice.  Forget summarizing, he'd be able to repeat this word for word.  He listened carefully not just because he'd been told to though, this was genuinely fascinating.  He'd heard bits and pieces from the other Soldiers, but he hadn't been sure what to believe.  Firstly because they might have been lying to try and make him make a fool of himself, and secondly because they might not understand themselves.

Amazingly, most of what they had said was true!  Calmon was confirming that Saidin really was like fighting for your life with a wild animal.  His anticipation grew as he imagined what that would be like.  Feeling more alive than ever he had while simultaneously being on the brink of death.  He shuddered, even inside the Quiet.

Suddenly something poked him in the back of the head.  He started to turn when another jabbed him in the ribs.  He was confused for a moment until he realised Calmon was still talking.  If someone had been throwing things at him he guessed the man would stop.  This must be the distraction he meant.  He'd missed a sentence as he tried to stabilize the bubble against the shock of being poked with invisible sticks, but he thought he still caught the gist of it.  He was underlining his point now - each word being accompanied by a sharp jab to the center of the chest - "Discipline, Soldier, discipline."

His words did frighten Eamer.  It seemed that not only was Saidin dangerous because it was so powerful - it was also more addictive than he could imagine.  It really was a double edged sword - maybe it even had more than two edges, and most of them were pointing at the person using it.  Sure, it gave you power beyond imagining - but if you couldn't control it?  It would sweep you away.  If you couldn't control yourself?  It would scour you off the face of the earth.

Eamer could feel his stomach twist as that worm of worry took hold of him.  He gave Calmon his summary, and it was clear to his own ears that he understood the danger.  There was an edge of fear in his voice that wasn't there before.

Amazingly, he still felt drawn to Saidin after all he'd heard.  In fact, even as the fear gripped him the call came all the sweeter.  But he was able to resist more easily now too.  The fear notched up slightly as he realised that the ability to resist would be diminished once he had felt Saidin for himself.  He just hoped he could manage it.

[Matt]

Calmon listened attentively as the boy gave his summary, and gave a nod of approval as Eamer finished. Perhaps he understood, and perhaps he didn't, only time would tell. Never the less, Calmon had done all that he could, and now it was time to see what the Soldier was made of. "Alright, there's not a lot of time left to us, and I would at least like you to try seizing Saidin today." Some people managed to grasp this quickly, while others took more time. Learning quickly didn't necessarily mean that you would end up being stronger in the Power, but most new Soldiers seemed to think that it did.

"Prepare yourself, and while you must be cautious, don't panic. I'm here to make sure you don't do anything stupid. Let me know when you've attained the Quiet." He waited while the boy did just that before continuing in a calm voice. "Let's see how you do on your own. Try to grasp Saidin. If you succeed, try to hold it for a few moments before letting it go. Do not surrender to it and don't try to channel it." While he didn't want the boy to panic, it was essential that he understood the risk, so Calmon made sure his tone was birth calm and firm.

"Go ahead, Eamer, give it a whirl." He told the boy with an encouraging smile, and he lent back against a tree, the very image of a teacher with complete confidence in his student. Unseen by Eamer, however, he seized Saidin and readied a weave of Spirit to shield the boy and a simple weave of Air to stop the boy hurting anyone else.

[edladd]

Eamer's heart was pounding now - his first taste of Saidin!  He was vaguely aware that his mouth had gone dry and his hands were shaking slightly, but that was understandable given the situation.  He tried to form the Quiet and was surprised when it sprang up almost instantly.  I guess Alun was right, with practice it does get easier.  He floated in the calm for a few moments to make sure he could hold it stably, "OK, I have the Quiet", his voice impassive.  Calmon went on with his instructions, Light, there's so much to remember!.

"Go ahead, Eamer, give it a whirl", Calmon sounded very relaxed and confident, and Eamer found that encouraging, he believes I can do it.  He let himself sink deeper in to the Quiet, cutting out all distractions.  Then he felt it again, that Siren's call, that warmth that could melt the heart of winter.  Even without trying he felt himself stretching towards it, and this time he didn't stop himself.  It felt like his fingers were curling around the sun itself, closing onto it, closer, closer, until he grabbed ... nothing.  The bubble of calm shrank a bit under the weight of disappointment and frustration, but he held onto it.  I can't give up now, he tried again, putting more effort into the act of grasping, and this time it worked.

The shock of it was unbelievable.  He had been told what to expect, but hadn't been able to match up the description with the warm inviting light that he had been feeling.  This was like slipping into a calm pool only to have it instantly turn into raging rapids.  And somehow it seemed to be both boiling hot and freezing cold at the same time.  But somewhere at the heart of it it was still calling to him, telling him to draw more, to swim deeper into the churning frothing river.

He tried to pull back from it, to let it go, but it held him tight.  I can't get away!  He could feel the panic rising outside the Quiet, pressing in on it, making it shrink.  What will happen if I lose the Quiet and I'm still holding this thing?  Suddenly all the warnings took on a new gravity for him - this was real.  This thing could rip him to shreds or burn him out.  He needed to get away now.  Again and again he tried to let it go.  Then suddenly he remembered, letting go was a passive thing, a surrender in a way - Saidin needed to be forced.  He pushed it out of him, and felt it drain away.  In sheer relief, his legs gave way, it felt like he'd been fighting the thing for hours, but it can't have been more than a few seconds.  He looked up at Calmon, still leaning against the tree. "Wow!" was all he could say.

[Matt]

Calmon watched the boy from against the tree, outwardly confident, but inside he was more than a little anxious. He liked Eamer, and he didn't like the fact that he was going to have to Force him like everybody else. Not that he liked Forcing anybody for that matter. It's all up to you now, Eamer, please don't screw it up. Watching was hard for Calmon. He wanted to act now, to slide the shield into place, or to tell Eamer to stop, but he knew that he couldn't. This had to be done.

All of a sudden, Calmon felt Saidin flowing into the boy before him, not a lot of it, but the boy had only just started. His moment of pride was short lived, however, and it was quickly overtaken by wariness and a little worry. This was where the danger was. He held his shield ready and waited to see if Eamer would be able to push Saidin away by himself. As suddenly as it had arrived, the tiny spark of Saidin vanished and Eamer sank to the ground. Oh no, he can't have - He discreetly let out a sigh of relief as the boy looked up at him.

Calmon grinned at the boy's response to the experience. "Wow indeed!" he agreed with a chuckle. "Here, up you get." He helped Eamer to his feet and clapped him on the shoulder. "That was very well done, Eamer, very well done." He smiled proudly at the tired boy and handed him a waterskin. "Here, drink as much as you want." He told him."That's it for the day, I'll see you here tomorrow, straight after breakfast. In the meantime, don't go bullying your enemies with your new found power, and try not to get yourself killed." He clapped the boy on the shoulder one more time and strode off in the direction of Maxton's house for a lesson of his own.

[edladd]

After Calmon took his leave, Eamer wandered back towards the weapons yard, still a little dazed.  He was going over and over in his mind everything he'd learned that morning, trying to remember every little detail.  He was dying to try it again, though he knew better than to attempt it here where anyone could see him without supervision.

He was scheduled for a quarterstaff lesson later that afternoon, but he wanted to get a bit of practice in before then - to see if he could concentrate on the forms while sharing the Quiet with the pulsing light of Saidin.  After a fashion, he could just about manage it - though it was like trying to ignore a waterskin when you were parched.

Understandably, the lesson didn't go so well, with Eamer losing focus at the oddest moments.  Usually when he was on the back foot during a spar, the call of Saidin would intensify, causing him to drop his guard - often resulting in him getting deposited squarely on his backside.  Maybe it was pushing itself forward, wanting to be used in times of need?  That would certainly explain why Eamer had been able to access it unconsciously in the past - it had always been in a situation where his life or that of someone close to him was in danger.  It was a bit unnerving to think of Saidin that way, like a living thing with a will of it's own.

He worked hard that evening, practicing his weapon forms by himself, trying to distract himself from the urge to seize the Source again.  He'd come too close to hurting himself earlier to really want to risk it again.  Ah, who am I kidding - I'm just too bloody scared to try it myself.

Tired as he was, sleep was a long time coming that night, and was filled with fitful dreams about the lessons to come.

[Matt]

The rest of his day was nothing out of the ordinary for Calmon. He had a lesson with Maxton followed by another with the Gaidin at the White Tower before teaching another class of his own. For the most part, his teachers seemed to think that he was coming along reasonably well and Calmon hoped that it wouldn't be too long before he attained the dragon pin.

As was his routine, he woke up early and worked through some sword forms to loosen up before breakfast and so by the time Eamer came along, he was well and truly awake. "Good morning, Eamer." He said in greeting. After the perfunctionary exchange of words, he jumped straight into it. The first stage of the boy's training required a bit of 'muscle development' with the Power but that didn't mean Calmon had to wear him out first thing every day so that he couldn't even walk to his next lesson. "Ok, your training as a Soldier is all about building your strength, and doing it quickly. To do this you're going to have to keep seizing Saidin until you can hold more of it for longer. Think of it as lifting weights. The more often you lift things, the easier to lift they become."

Some teachers just got their students to hold Saidin until they were almost collapsing from the strain of it, but that was a good way to get Soldiers gentled, or worse. "We're going to run through the same exercise we did yesterday. You are going to hold the Quiet while I speak to you, and when I finish, you will summarize it. Ignore any distractions and don't seize Saidin." He himself seized Saidin and forced it into flows of Air which poked the boy as he spoke.

"There are five flows of the One Power, and you will learn to use all five. They are as follows, Air, Fire, Earth, Spirit and Water. Men are generally stronger in Fire and Earth whereas women are usually stronger in Water and Air. Strength in Spirit is found equally in men and women. Just as men are usually stronger in the physical sense, they also stronger in the Power and are able to hold more of it before being burnt out or killed." Just as he had with past students at this point, he drenched Eamer with a weave of Water which brought water from a nearby well. "To offset this, women are usually more dexterous in their weaving. It is, of course, possible for a woman to be stronger in the Power than a man, and for a man to be stronger than a woman in Air, but it is rare."

Finished, he lent back against his tree and waited. If he got it right, Calmon would dry him off, if he didn't... well, it wasn't that cold this morning.

[edladd]

Eamer was barely able to suppress a yawn as he greeted his instructor.  Thankfully, he did suppress it, he wouldn't want Calmon to think that he was disrespecting him; quite aside from the fact that he owed the man his life, he really liked him too.

On the Dedicated's instructions, he formed the Quiet and held it as he talked.  This time he was expecting the jabs of Air, and almost smiled when he felt them, easily ignoring the distractions.  It helped that he was finding this so fascinating.  It had never really occurred to him that the Power might be at the same time so complex and so simple.  In his head, Saidin was Saidin and if you could channel it was a matter of imagining what you wanted it to do and it would happen.  From what Calmon was saying it sounded like there was something like five different versions of Saidin, and everyone had different abilities with each.  In a way it made sense, Eamer had heard that ...

Suddenly his train of thought was obliterated by a wave of freezing water, Where in the Light did that come from?  In the shock, the bubble of calm collapsed, and he was left feeling every drop of water soaking his clothes.  Why did he bloody do that!?  He was staring at Calmon, who had finished talking and was leaning against a tree as if waiting for something.  Oh, right, I'm supposed to repeat what he just said.  To try and help him remember, he formed the Quiet again.  It was a bit slow in coming - it was hard to ignore the way the cold clothing was sticking to him, but soon enough he had it.

It was easy enough to rattle off the first part, about the five flows.  But he hadn't heard a single thing after the soaking.  He shook his memories, trying to see if any of it had snuck in and could be retrieved, but to no avail.  There can't have been much I missed, maybe I'll get away with it.

That was being silly though, Calmon wasn't teaching him for his own amusement - it was for Eamer's benefit, and for all he knew, the bit of the lecture he missed could have been vital.  There was only one sensible option open to him.

"I'm really sorry Sir, but I didn't catch that last part.  Can you repeat it?  Oh, and I've a question too, back in Caemlyn you told me that you saw me Channel - what kind of flow was I using there?"

[Matt]

Calmon eyed the boy thoughtfully. Well, he was truthful, he'd give him that. Unfortunately for Eamer, he was also cold, and would stay that way until he could do as Calmon asked. While the Dedicated would go to great lengths to ensure that as few people as possible became casualties to this place under his tutelage, that wasn't to say that Calmon was adverse to teaching his students lessons the hard way. Unfortunately for them, the hard way usually led to better results in the long run, if properly used of course.

Calmon nodded his assent and repeated the last line, poking the boy even harder with Air this time. "Men are usually stronger, but to offset this, women are usually more dexterous in their weaving. It is, of course, possible for a woman to be stronger in the Power than a man, and for a man to be stronger than a woman in Air, but it is rare."

When Eamer had rattled off his summary, Calmon answered his question. "The flow you were using on that day was Earth, you likely have some sort of affinity with it." As such, Calmon intended to start with this particular flow.

"In a moment, I will ask you to seize Saidin again. When I do, you will hold it and watch me pick out flows for you to see and I will name them for you." He smiled encouragingly again, allowing the boy a moment to prepare himself. "You may seize Saidin now." Despite the wording, it was not an invitation.

He waited until the boy had done just that before pulling out a thick rope of Earth, holding it there for Eamer to see before letting it go. "Release Saidin. That was Earth, did you see it?"

[edladd]

Eamer gladly formed the Quiet again, using it to seek respite from the cold.  He was once again eager to grasp the Source, to find out if it really was as good as he'd remembered, or if his mind had embellished the facts.  It took him a few moments to go deep enough to sense the Source, but once he did, he was able to grasp it surprisingly easily.  Holding onto it was of course still a challenge, but an enjoyable one; you knew you were alive holding Saidin.

Once he felt somewhat in control, he suddenly became more aware of Calmon, who was standing beside him looking at him intently, as if waiting for him to notice something.  At first, Eamer just frowned towards him, and then ... he saw something.  It was a dark, murky shimmer in the air - like the shadow of a shadow.  It was so faint that Eamer wasn't convinced he was seeing anything, but still ...

It dissappeared, "Release Saidin. That was Earth, did you see it?".  Eamer did as instructed before replying.  "I ... I think I did.  There was something in the air just here," he waved his arm vaguely where he saw the shimmer, "I might have been imagining it though."  If it was it though, it was amazing to think that he'd managed to control it back in Caemlyn.  By the looks of it, you would think it would be like manipulating smoke with your bare hands.

[Matt]

Calmon nodded, the boy's eyes had certainly followed the length of the rope of Earth. Some men easily, others took more time, and yet just because someone was slower than others in picking it up didn't mean that they would necessarily be weaker in the Power. It really was hard to judge with men. "Good. Let's try that again, seize Saidin," He told Eamer. He waited until Eamer had done so and waited a couple of seconds before grabbing an even thinker rope of Earth. He looked towards Eamer questioningly and told him to release the Source. It wasn't only for Eamer that he kept the actual time holding the Power short; holding that much Earth without actually doing anything with it was difficult.

He repeated the exercise until Eamer was confident that he could see the flow, and then they moved on. "Since men are typically strong in Fire as well, we'll try that next." He indicated that Eamer should seize Saidin again and Calmon did the same thing he had done with Earth, holding out a thick cord of Fire for the Soldier to examine. Once the Soldier was finished with this, they would have to break for a little bit, all this battling with Saidin would probably be wearing the boy down. "How about this one, Eamer? Can you see it?"

[edladd]

It took a few tries before Eamer was sure what he was seeing, but eventually he was confident that the vague murky something was really there.  By that time he even fancied that he could feel it, after a fashion.  Like the flow of Saidin in the air was invoking a ripple in the river of Saidin within him.  It was difficult to sense this though - as any ripple in a raging torrent would be - but nonetheless it was there.

The struggle to hold Saidin was beginning to tell as well.  It took an incredible amount of concentration not to lose control of the thing, and the worry over what could happen if he did was a stress that compounded the effect.  He could already feel a dull ache forming behind his eyes, and after a restless night, he wasn't sure how useful he'd be after a few more hours of this.

They moved onto Fire next, which was another Power that Eamer was fairly sure he must have used before.  It was on his journey down the Manetherendrelle, when he'd been sparring one evening on the deck with Ander.  They'd accidentally knocked over a lamp, and the spilled oil caught almost instantly.  In a panic, Eamer had tried to smother the flames with his shirt - only for them to disappear almost instantly.  He knew now that he must have channeled in his fright to quench them.

It was unsurprising then that he picked up on the flow of Fire almost as quickly as he had with Earth.  It was certainly more difficult for him, and he was glad he'd had a chance to practice with Earth, but it wasn't too long before he was able to pick it out.  To him, the flow looked sort of reddish - like seeing the glow of a flame reflected off a wall through smoked glass.  He'd considered Earth to be insubstantial, but it was positively solid compared to this.

And again, there was that reflection from the torrent of Saidin.  Maybe the part of Saidin that is responding is where the Fire is?  He was pretty sure it was more complex than that, but it might be partly true.  He mentioned this 'reflection' to Calmon, and then gave his theory - "Do you find something like that sir?"

[Matt]

Calmon nodded slowly in approval. "Yes, many men do, though I'm not sure about Aes Sedai. Nobody that I have spoken to seems to have a reason for it and it is rare for one so new to channeling to pick it up." He told the boy with a small smile of pride. "Now, watch closely and we'll see if you can pick Water out as quickly!"

Once again he repeated the process, and while it took the boy longer, he found it in the end. Hardly suprising really, he was male, and far more likely to be stronger in Earth and Fire than Water and Air. After spending so long holding the Power, the boy was exhausted, and Calmon dismissed him for the day. The following morning they met again and the lesson began in much the same way as the previous ones had, building Eamer's strength with Saidin and teaching him to hold the Void against distraction.

This was followed by a continuation of the previous days lesson, and Calmon was pleased that Eamer was able to pick out Spirit almost as quickly as he had Fire. Although it was impossible to tell, Calmon hoped that this meant that Eamer would one day be able to open a gateway of his own. They were certainly useful! Again, Calmon wasn't at all surprised when Eamer struggled to find Air, but they stuck with it until the boy had it and at the end of the lesson, Calmon gave to boy a test. "Tell me the order in which I show you the flows. Watch carefully." He instructed.

One after the other he grabbed thick cords of Fire, Water, Spirit, Air and, finally, Earth. He paused for a moment, allowing the boy to gather his thoughts. "I'll show you once more." He did so slowly and when he was done, he looked at the boy questioningly.

[edladd]

Eamer couldn't help feeling pleased about how well this was going.  He'd managed to pick up on two of the five Powers with relatively little effort, and he felt he was making Calmon proud.  He was quickly brought back to earth by his performance with Water.  It took him longer than Fire and Earth combined to finally notice the blue-tinged tint to a band of air in front of him.  Even after the first time he saw it, it took another 5 tries to spot it a second time.

On top of that, there was no sense of resonance to accompany this Power.  He was starting to think that maybe he'd imagined it with the first two - despite Calmon assuring him that it did in fact exist.  Disappointment was only held at bay by the fact that Calmon was still quite upbeat about it all.  Maybe I'm expecting too much of myself?  He knew one thing for sure, holding Saidin was beginning to exhaust him.  He could feel the onset of a massive headache forming behind his eyes, and it was something of a relief when Calmon dismissed him for the day.

He was pleasantly surprised during his third lesson when he picked up on Spirit as quickly as he did.  True, it wasn't as easy as Earth or Fire had been, but nonetheless he'd managed it.  Especially after the Water fiasco, it was a great confidence boost to perform better again.  Air was another matter entirely, being perhaps even worse than Water.  But Eamer was able to be philosophical about it, knowing it was still a good start to his career as a channeler.

To finish the lesson, Calmon set him a little challenge, pulling out the threads in a random order.  Eamer concentrated, wanting to do well here.  He was naturally quite a competitive person.  Right ... red, that's Fire ..., it faded away, to be replaced my something very vague, Light, I can't tell which it is.  The only thing he was sure of was that it wasn't Earth.  He got a sense that it might be Spirit before it darkened, becoming more substantial.  Definitely Earth now, which next?

"I'll show you once more."  Eamer was a bit startled - had he really gone through them all already?  He hadn't even noticed anything that might be Air or Water - though Calmon had presented the second one to him for much longer than the others.  This time Eamer tried to keep a count of how long Fire was in front of him, so he could gauge when the others might change.  The second thread appeared, and this time he was pretty sure it was tinged with blue, Might be Water, or maybe Air.  Before, he hadn't been able to get a true sense of a colour to link with Air, which he could imagine would be confusing later on.

Spirit came next, this time he was much surer of it.  And then it faded to a murk again.  Air or Water again I guess - I can't tell which.  Earth was once again the only one that was very clear.  He was beginning to think he must have been blind earlier not to notice it straight away.

After a time it disappeared and Calmon was waiting for an answer.  "Well, sir, the first one was Fire, the third one was, I think, Spirit, and the last one was Earth.  As for the other two, I don't know which was Water and which was Air.  In fact, they both could have been the same Power twice - or possibly it was only Spirit held for longer than the others.  I think basically I need a bit more practice."  It wasn't an ideal performance, but Eamer felt he'd not done too badly considering.